A Stranger in Michelle Land

OH. Hi there

2011-12-31T11:50:00.000-05:00

It's been a while. Almost a year in fact!

Hi!

And what a year it has been. Dramatic changes are afoot and some have already marched on by.

To recap, and I guess I should start with the biggies:

I got engaged! To the most wonderful man I know (except for you Dad!)- the HB. He does amazing things, like clean the bathroom and dust, and love me even when I'm being a jerk, he talks to my friends and family and ~~suffered through~~ thoroughly enjoyed a trip out west to meet everyone. Essentially he's what I always wanted and hoped for in my heart of hearts.

Funny thing is when I was actually confronted with what I wanted I almost threw it back. But the HB is nothing if not persistent and somewhat sneaky. Sneakier than me even, waaaay sneakier than me (truth be told). We entered into a "formal agreement" over bbqing about getting married next summer. And boy did he let me think it was all my idea, the force is strong with this one. Pretty much if you can angle me into thinking it's all my idea, I'll do it.

So the "formal agreement" was cemented with a Christmas morning proposal on bended knee with my beautiful custom made ring. (thus ensuring this Scrooge McDuck would forever have a soft spot for Christmas)

Since we were under a "formal agreement" we decided it was probably a good idea to get shacked up. And the universe smiled upon us, it is funny- when things are right, they are easy. A friend of mine was in (rental) possession of a beautiful semi-detached in Parkdale. And she decided the time was right for her to quit our Mean City for the last time. (follow her at Illumination Magazine for some wonderful writing) She passed the torch over to us, we are the now proud renters of a two level half house! Many of you (or the two of you who read this) know I have been a basement dweller for the past 4 years. We still have a basement with no windows (the man cave) but there is an upstairs! I have a "sitting room" and windows! And a wee back patio we plan to transform this year.

I miss my old neighbourhood, it's lazy charm, my big backyard and days spent watching the trees. I miss the junction and the good neighbour and bloor west village. But I am now closer to the Ocean/Lake, closer to the park and in the middle of a very happening hood that we are still discovering. And despite it's proximity to Queen St. it's a quiet house. We live across from a park, within walking distance to an all year farmers Market, it is a beautiful and a family oriented neighbourhood to our North and hipster heaven to our South.

That's right, hipsters I am in you*. Often called "Little Williamsburg" there is no shortage of guys sporting skinny jeans and/or harem pant jeans, black rimmed glasses, weird facial hair and plaid shirts. I may be succumbing slightly and have purchased a bright green fur hooded jacket (c'mon $20 what a steal!) but I also work on Bay St. so I think it's a pretty good balance.

*I believe Gwen will remember a time of me drunkenly shrieking F**K Parkdale!! Ahh life is pretty funny.

I do not miss living in a moldy basement or the racoon mafia that liked to use my one window as a toilet area.

So here we are! It is year end, I'm getting used to living with someone else (ie- sharing things- still sucks I tell ya, but I'm getting there).

After a year struggling to enter the work force I finally did on a year long contract starting in July, it's been interesting. It's not my calling, but at this moment it is paying the bills and that is what I need.

Being DINKs (Double Income No Kids) was the perfect opportunity to expand our little family to include Montague aka Monty aka The Little Gaffer aka "quit it shithead". He's from a shelter and now I think 7 months old really fits in with us. The HB and Monty can often be caught snoozing on the couch together.

So onwards to 2012- where I will be getting married, taking a honeymoon(!), working on expanding our family (and in turn expanding me, I suppose), celebrating with friends and family alike and getting to show our out Easty's my little slice of the West Coast.

There is so much to do, but I'm feeling positive and strong and that it will all get done.

And no NYE post would be complete without a few resolutions here we go:

I intend to:

Exercise my mind and body more
Worry less
Be more creative
Put myself first
Not behave sluttishly around the house (only in connection to housework- OBVIOUSLY)
Give back to the community
Keep living in love

Merry Happy New Year everyone! Maybe I'll be back on here before another 12 month lapse!

MAYBE this will turn into a crazy wedding blog- who knows. (I really hope not, trying very hard to keep my inner bridezilla in check)

One love!
M

Busy Beautiful

2011-01-22T09:06:00.000-05:00

I've been pretty busy lately. Tomorrow morning will be my first time off to myself in a while. Two weeks ago I got up and walked down to the coffee shop at the corner and sat and read the paper. It was lovely, and really invigorating. I walked through the back alleyways to my street and saw things I hadn't seen before.

Life is pretty amazing, I'm working hard on stopping every day and remembering that and then having a look at how beautiful the world around me is.

It's "extremely" cold out there this weekend. I have to say, I love it. Winter just makes me quite happy, when there is snow on the ground and we're all bundled up.

And it's on with the day!

Soul food

2010-12-31T22:15:00.000-05:00

Soul food. What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

Hmm this is a tricky one, because I generally don't pay super attention to food. Although this year I'd have to say the one thing that sticks out is Australian Sour Cream. It's heavenly, it's like whipped butter but sour cream. It's amazing and delectable.

But more than that it's about HOW I eat, the best meals I've had are prepared with friends, shared over a bottle of wine and terrific conversation. And I've had these meals in many countries over the year, and that's makes me so happy.

Ordinary joy

2010-12-31T22:07:00.001-05:00

Ordinary joy. Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

There are so many. I try to make sure one moment of every day is made extraordinary by my noticing it. But my most joyful moment of the year was coming back to Toronto, realizing that I have a home in this world. Coming to my apartment and being SO HAPPY to have my space back. To be happy to be alone.

Photo

2010-12-31T21:51:00.000-05:00

Photo - a present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

My Angel

I took this picture, in my nook. It's of my Angel, my mum has the other half of it. She collects these types of angels and was pretty into it when I was in my teens. When I moved away to England at 18 she gave me this half to have and remember her with. I took it everywhere, this little angel has seen all of Europe. When I came home, I gave it back. But when I moved to Toronto- supposedly for school and for a limited time offer, but we both knew this was the move I was going to make forever, she gave it back to me and I never go anywhere with it. It keeps me connected to my mum, it watches me sleep and it makes me feel happy and connected to those far away when I look at it. I keep it by my bed so it's the last thing I see before sleep, and the first thing I look in the morning. The halo is pretty beat up and tattered these days- but then we've been through some rough times together.

I miss my family, there isn't a day that goes by that I wish I could live closer. There is no regret about moving to Toronto- ever. I love it here, I'm happy and this is, finally after years of searching, my home. So thank goodness for Skype and the phone and for my whole family.

Everything's OK

2010-12-31T21:23:00.000-05:00

Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

Hmm this one is weird, I already know everything is going to be OK. And I don't know if I can define it to a specific moment. Everyday that I wake up, it's OK, every time I walk outside, it's OK, every smile I have it's OK, every friend I speak to, it's OK.

So this hasn't been a discovery for this year, but I will continue to come back to now and remember in this moment, it's perfect. It is all perfect.

New Name

2010-12-31T21:20:00.000-05:00

New name. Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

It would be Baroness Michelle Darlington, obviously! Why? Because I think I'm all classy and aristocratic (but realistic enough to only lust after a barony not a duchy) and Darling or Darlington would probably be the only names I'd trade my last name up for. Part of me thinks when you get married you should become a family unit and have one name. But what if that person you marry has a crappy name? I don't want to trade down in my name. I love my name. I have never really had any adverse feelings towards my name.

It's a bit of a funny name, mostly french with a good english kick in the backside. But my middle name is after my great grandmother, and I'm proud of that. Even though she passed when I was too young to remember her. And despite the teasing I received as a child about my name, I know that even if you were named Ann or Sally, you'd still get teased, kids are assholes.

So there you go. And don't forget to curtsey when we meet.

Travel

2010-12-31T21:14:00.000-05:00

Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

Heh, this is a rather reverb to start on, when I read it I was a day away from flying out to New Jersey for the holidays. Which, if you read the news- me wanting to fly out on the 26th- can imagine how that ended. It was a 30 hour journey to get home and there was a lot of time cursing myself for leaving town for Christmas for traveling in general.

It's been a bit of a shite year for travel mojo, I've had several canceled flights, lost luggage, being stranded in cities, being desperately far away from my family and friends and all that was familiar. But there were some great great trips, to the beach, to New York City. And always elements of the sublime in every single trip I took.

But you know- I still love it and crave it. And people help each other, I witnessed so much openness while at Newark, people came round with homemade cupcakes, there was group commiseration on our circumstances. It made me feel part of a larger thing, part of humanity. Where we try to make the best of a bad situation and help out people around us.

I want to keep traveling like that in 2011, I want to be open and helpful and remember that it could be worse and that a helping hand can make all the difference and we're all in this together.

Beyond avoidance

2010-12-20T20:57:00.000-05:00

Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

I should have gotten a job, but I avoided it. First I was exhausted and wrung out from Australia, then it was Summer and who wants a job in the Summer? (crazy people, that's who) Then I was depressed about not having a job, not knowing what I want to do with my life, not having a career, being 33 and struggling, an embarrassment to my family, not good enough. And then I was scared to try.

Will I do it? You bet I will. I feel like the curtain has parted on what it is I want to be doing, what will make me happy, what I could do for years and years and it wouldn't feel like work. And I'm going after it, I might not get there tomorrow or this coming year. But I will. You can count on it.

Healing

2010-12-20T20:53:00.000-05:00

Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

In a way, Australia healed me this year. There are aspects of that trip that brought up so much pain and anguish and patterns of behaviour that I wanted to suppress.

This made me confront things and cut people that are toxic out of my life after standing up for myself. Unfortunately you can't change a person from being an asshole, but you can say I will not forgive you for treating me poorly. And that was really scary to do. But I did do it and I'm stronger for it.

And it healed my wanderlust a little bit. Not completely, mind you. I will always, always want to be away, traveling. A stranger in a strange land is my idea of heaven. But I know where my home base is. And I know that all the hard slog I've put into this city, into creating friendships and connections is paying off.

So I'd say it was drip-by-drip more than it was whammo a sudden explosion.

It's like I woke up and realized, I am happy. I want to continue this, and it will make me stronger and wily and all the colours of the rainbow in 2011.

I think recommended reading would be "The Fox with Cold Feet" I finally realized my feet aren't that cold.

Try

2010-12-20T20:14:00.000-05:00

Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?

I want to try to do what makes me happy for money. I have never tried to do this before. But I'm closing in on exactly what that would be and it's kind of exciting.

I tried to live in Australia this year. I went for it, it was scary and I didn't really like it. I like aspects of it and I miss so many people I met there. But I feel satisfied that I tried it out and I'm confident in where I want to be living in the world, which is here. In the heart of my hearts- Toronto.

Lesson learned

2010-12-20T20:11:00.000-05:00

Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

Errr, I'm so not a lesson learned type of person. But, I'll give it a shot. I have learned- that I am happy, that things are OK. And in spite of or because of everything, I'm going to be happy. It's my choice. I am the master of my domain, I'm in charge of my life. And I'm going to be happy with what I have and ok with not wanting what is "normal" to define success.

I'm going to keep breathing, keep myself present, give thanks and be grateful just to be.

Friendship

2010-12-20T20:08:00.000-05:00

Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

Recently I almost screwed up a friendship for a guy. And this isn't the first time I've done this, but this time it finally hit home to me. FINALLY. After this being a pattern since I started getting involved with boys.

I suspect it has a lot to do with low self-esteem and wanting to be wanted and in love in that magical completely unrealistic way. As well I suspect that every time I feel "thunderbolts" for someone they might in fact be warning bells.

I think what made this time different was remembering how hard I worked to get the friendships I have here. I don't have a lot of friends in Toronto really, two really close ones and they are amazing, and I've thrown both of them under the bus at one point. And it's shitty of me. So ladies, I am sorry and I thank you for being forgiving and amazing.

It woke me up, to remember that boys come and go, but friends can be forever and I'm not willing to risk them for a guy who is a warning bell. And it gave me the resolve to get rid of someone so dangerous to me that he could strip me of my friends.

And they are the wind beneath my wings. (*sniffle* so cheesy!)

5 minutes

2010-12-20T19:57:00.001-05:00

5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

Sydney, the beach, the ocean, the sunshine, connecting with friends again, meeting new friends, Toronto, homecoming, happiness, spring time, flowers, the colours, regaining strength, summer time, the park, the feel of my legs when I'm walking, my bike, hot sultry nights, wasaga, the lake, floating, swimming, happiness, mum visiting, the islands, the heat, fall, the leaves, the walking, New York, Blake, happiness, the metropolitan, the junction, the backyard, nights on the porch talking till late, sunday dinners, my wonderful friends, heavy me, gwen styles, the music, the agony, the ecstasy, the beauty and wonder of it all.

*edit- i do need to add in a couple of things: Mark- I hope you are at peace, winter, snow!!, fresh duvet covers and my family and Rusalka. *

Appreciate

2010-12-14T22:59:00.000-05:00

Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

Toronto. Oh heart of my hearts. Home of my homes. City, friend, lover.

I spent the first 3 months out of Toronto living in a different country and culture. One I had thought and dreamed about for years, wanting to go there, to live there, to BE there. And so I went, planning on sussing it out, and then making the move over there and start again another grand adventure. It was all planned out.

Except for one thing I didn't plan on, missing Toronto with every fibre of my being. I composed love letters to it, I mooned over pictures, I cried for it, I counted the days until I could see it again. And when I landed in Toronto at dusk- the sun, glinting off the CN Tower in the distance and my second favourite Feist song (I feel it All) playing in Pearson International, I really did start to cry and had I been alone, I would have fallen on the floor and kissed the ground a la Kevin Costner arriving home to England in Robin Hood- Prince of Thieves. I was home.

What did I do to appreciate Toronto? I left. And I came back, sure in my knowledge that this is the city for me. That it is Love, big L- L.O.V.E. I have going on here. It makes me squeek and sigh every time I see the CN Tower, and brings a smile to my face when I wake up. It makes me wish my arms were 50km long so I could give Toronto the biggest, squishiest, most wonderful hug I could ever give.

Thank you Toronto, you saved me. You made my life worth living again in so many ways. I'm grateful, you and me- we're soul mates. I'll always be on your side telling the world how great you are. Many might not believe me (they're probably from the west coast anyway...) but we know, that you and I share something special.

This is me expressing my gratitude at the best city in the world. XOTO

Action

2010-12-14T22:42:00.000-05:00

Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?

Eeep, to get a job. To really actually GET A JOB. To be ruthless in selling myself and my abilities. To get out there, put myself out there in the face of the world and suffer rejection and possible humiliation, to make cold calls and shmooze with people.

Pretty spooky, but I can do it. I WILL DO IT.

Body integration

2010-12-14T22:40:00.000-05:00

Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I have these moments a fair bit. I try to have one at least once a day. But I realized just the other day something more important, I don't dislike my body anymore. Couldn't say when exactly it happened, although I suspect for a long while now I've been only hating my body out of habit, because that's what you're "supposed" to do.

Thing is, my body is just fine. At the moment it's not as strong as I'd like it to be, as exampled by my back going out, and being sick for the past few weeks. But on the whole, I look good. I'm pretty cute, I dress well, stylishly, ok- except for that one time when I went to the coffee shop in yoga pants, but it was only ONCE, and I realized then that I was really depressed and I snapped the hell out of it. Plus a stinky person sat beside me, my punishment- I guess.

I like my body best when I'm in motion, because I'm strong and I'm efficient and I'm a force to be reckoned with. My goal this coming year is to push my activity level on a daily basis. Walking, then running, then weights. Because I am.... BEEFCAKE!

Things

2010-12-11T21:33:00.000-05:00

Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

I'm not sure if I have that many things that need to go? I come from generations strong purgers so I tend to go through my house at least twice a year and get rid of junk. Not to mention I just don't have that much space for anything that isn't streamlined.

One thing I am going to get rid of is my uncomfortable couch, and that will GREATLY improve my life. Everyone needs a comfortable place to sit and read!

And I'll continue getting rid of negativity, negative influence and negative thoughts.

Wisdom.

2010-12-11T21:27:00.000-05:00

Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

To be happy. And just be.

Party!

2010-12-10T19:25:00.000-05:00

Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Well- as some of you may know, I'm a bit of a party animal. I loooooove a party. I love hosting parties, planning them out, being an (notso)innocent bystander at them.

Hard to narrow it down to just one- so let's go top 3 (in no particular order)

1.Pili and Clif's Australian engagement party. We had a delicious dinner on the docks at Wallamalloo, were dressed up all very fancy and having champagne, there were great people, great conversations!

2. My Birthday! My birthday is always the most fun, because I decided a long time ago, that I was always going to plan to do what I wanted to do on my birthday and be selfish! It's the one day you really REALLY can just do what you want and sod anyone else's opinions. I've decided since my 30th I'll be spending every other year in NYC, this year was a Toronto year. And it was great fun, dressing up and wandering the Junction with Gwen and meeting up with Isabel for dinner, having drinks with them and Stu on a Yorkville patio. It was a delicious sunny and warm day.

3. Anything where I can dress up fancy and socialize. It is clear that I must become a socialite because I'm good at it, and I like it!

Beautifully Different

2010-12-10T19:16:00.001-05:00

Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.

Things that make me different:

I like to fold things. A lot!
I name the spiders that live in my bathroom and I don't kill any of the ones that live in my house.
At restaurants I must organize creamers in bowls on the tables. (well just my table, I don't walk around to ALL the tables- that would be crazy)
I believe you can have a relationship with a purse and/or a shoe that is just as, if not more, satisfying than a romantic relationship.
My best boyfriend was my cat Sky.
I like to watch White Christmas, but usually not at Christmas time, unless I'm spending Christmas alone, and then it's what I do on the day.
I really like spending Christmas by myself, I just never get to.
I don't define success by power, money or fame. But by love, health and happiness.
I think I'm very successful.
Really, I don't need to be the best at anything. As long as I'm happy- I'm good.

Yup I'm a unique little snowflake, just like all the other snowflakes out there!

Community

2010-12-09T09:04:00.003-05:00

Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

Maybe that means that this is an important topic for me? I think in 2010 I reaffirmed my communities. Spending the first 3 months in Australia really reaffirmed for me that Canada, specifically Toronto, is where I need to be in my life and that is where I am happiest. I always rave and rave about this little neigbourhood I live in (probably because it's the best neighbourhood ever!!), but when I'm out and about I get a real sense of connection to the people around me, that we look out for each other. I know my upstairs neighbour really well- I'd definitely ask for sugar if I needed it. In fact, I have!

Online, I've started using Twitter a bit more, and reading some new blogs which seem to mingle a bit. I "tweeted" to one writer of a blog I admire about her help in something and she replied! I felt very warm and fuzzy. And our recent ex-mayor @iamdavidmiller replied to a tweet and said hello to the ocean for me!! (seriously I loved our old mayor. I would see him in the subway and have to fight the urge to go up and hug him).

Another blog I read recently posted an article on how to deal with the death of an ex- which is a timely topic, that I have been dealing with and not many people can understand. We had a little chat about it on her website and it was so helpful.

I have great friends here in Toronto, who I try to see on a regular basis. The only time I really can sometimes feel a bit lonely is Sunday mornings. I think I'd like, in my heart, for that to be family time- where I could meet up with my parents for brunch and talk about the week. But time differences mean I can't call them when I wake up (I've already forgotten about it and called VERY early a few times- yes I am one of THOSE Ontario people now- go me!!!). So my good friend suggested I find a walking group on Sunday mornings? Which I think is a great idea!

Another good friend of mine will be moving to Toronto in the New Year, so my Toronto family is expanding and thus my sense of community.

I also briefly worked up in the Junction, and got to know a few people there and frequent the shops there more. I'd like to do more of that in 2011. Meet more people- as always. I think the colours of life is in the people we weave into fabric.

Make

2010-12-09T08:54:00.000-05:00

Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

I have a few works in progress, some paintings that I do need to finish up.Must tear myself away from the computer.

Things that I DO want to make are more like home organizing projects to enhance the awesomeness of my abode. There is some shelving I want to put in the kitchen which I will make. Possibly some shelving in my nook as well to house my books ( I always seem to have more books than shelves). I want to paint my place a bit and get a new couch and fix up my bed.

So I guess I do need to make time for these things to make my place as fantastic as possible!!

Let Go

2010-12-05T12:58:00.000-05:00

Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

My imposed expectations, my illusion of control over my life, my inner feeling that I'm not measuring up.

Because I draw breath, my life is perfect, it is how it is meant to be at this moment.

Wonder

2010-12-05T12:56:00.000-05:00

Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

I try to cultivate wonder everyday. And to do so I have to stop, bring myself back to the present moment and see the beauty around me. I remember that everyone is a person with struggles and feelings and they deserve my love and compassion, not my censure and they are beautiful.

Picking up on the beauty in everything helps keep my wonder alive.

Moment

2010-12-05T12:51:00.000-05:00

Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

Floating in Lake Huron watching the sunset this summer at Wasaga Beach. The colours were gold and vivid orange, grey clouds, blue lake, green trees. The space was vast and silent. It was a perfect moment, and I felt as if my heart could explode with love.

Even thinking about it now makes me smile and feel buoyant, weightless. I felt such pride that I have been graced to live in a country of such astounding beauty and size. This was no small sunset.

Writing

2010-12-05T12:46:00.000-05:00

Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

The internet doesn't contribute to my writing. It is my television, a place where I can whittle away the hours. Not that I think I can eliminate it. But I would like to reduce my usage. As beautiful as my lappy is, it doesn't replace real people. Or nature.

The more time spent doing other things off the computer the more writing I want to do.

#reverb10

2010-12-05T12:43:00.000-05:00

I came across this website/concept reverb10 "Reflect on this year & Manifest What's Next"

Each day in December you get a prompt to think about and express. I'm going to try to do this!

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

Rest. I have spent much of this year on a hiatus from the grind. In so many ways this has been wonderful and needed and brought me to a lot of places I wouldn't have gone to. But as this year winds to an end I feel the urge to get back in the game and start running with the Elk again. 2011's word is going to be Action.

The Eagle is Landing- in a week

2010-09-08T23:50:00.000-04:00

My MUM is coming! In one week tomorrow!!

I'm pretty excited- there is so much to do! We are thinking Pioneer Black Creek Village, the Rom, I'm trying to convince to come look at art with me at the AGO (don't think she'll go for it though, but it's David! Degas! Delacroix!!!).

I need to get ready: clean things, maybe buy some food to have in the house, book a zipcar to get to the airport, ummm what else? What other things should I be doing? Put sheets on my bed?

What do you do when your parent(s) are coming to visit? Any good places in the city we should check out? Mum likes a good knit cafe and/or wool shop. We're not very keen on doing the touristy things. Any good day trips one can think of?

And it's SUMMER!

2010-08-31T21:06:00.001-04:00

Uhhh ok, I could be a bit late on this post. BUT with the heat wave that's hitting the city as of 3 hours prior to the 1st of September, I call SUMMER SUCKAHS!

Blackberry Pie I made!

It's been a rather glorious summer, since in all technicalities it's been like a 9 month long summer with perhaps a wee 2 month spring in there. According to weather Canada Toronto as seen HIGHER than average rainfall, but we didn't notice. Know why? Cause the rain here is SMART- it falls at night time. Or it does 1/3 of the month in one day. This is something I can handle. Because the rest of the time, it was glorious, glorious sunshine.

This is where I break into that song "Sunnny days, taking the clouds away..." because while it is summer I am perpetually 6. And this summer was the most indulgent summer I've had since I was a wee pup of oooh 25, when I last had a summer off. That's right, I retired for the summer.

You may, or may not (I would suspect may if you are my wonderful parents who helped me out in such a kind fashion, or their friends who probably had to listen to tales of my ineptness from them) that I have been "underemployed" this past summer. Although, in my mind is there such thing as underemployed? I mean really? I like to take a line from a really racist joke: the only good job is a dead job.

While I'd prefer to say- "currently retired" rather than unemployed, the main thing is I've been a slacker bum this summer. And I really enjoyed it. I mean REALLY. If it's possible to do, summer is the time to do it. The living is cheap and easy.
Bored? Go outside, ride your bike, reorganize your apartment several times, pester friends and relatives online and in person, the possibilities are endless.

Things that I did this summer (in Toronto, I think we've covered the South Pacific summer well enough, it's sooo early 2010) include: perfect some rather fantastic tan lines, open a new bank account with no fees, pay off my BCSL(clearly it wasn't giant), write letters to my Nanny, go to a COTTAGE for the first time (more on that later), go to the CNE for the first time, have backyard bbq's, chill with my super fantastical friends Gwen Styles and Heavy Me, go to the Dentist (seems trivial but it had been far too long), go to a movie in the middle of the day by myself, meet a few new people (most of them crazy), hear my friends band ROCK IT numerous times and eat a corn dog.

I'll be summing up individual excitements such as COTTAGING!!!! and my summer styles in separate posts- which I will get done shortly. I hope!

Travel has been, obviously, kept to a minimum, I think the only time I was out of the city (besides brief excursions to Scarberia and Miserysauga- it's ok I made it back alright) was up to Wasaga Beach. But there are plenty of beaches in and about Toronto that help to satisfy the beach bum in me. Although, I'll give you shout outs west coast- I miss a summer time beach fire on the ocean.

So what's the moral? It's been a fun, restful, sunny, did I mention fun? Summer. But it's closing out and it'll be back to the grind. I think I realized at one point this could be my last hurrah, that years will stretch out in front of me of being overemployed (errr employed at all) where my Summers would be spent sitting wistfully in an office staring out at all those jerkfaces who get to be outside. So this Summer, I WAS that jerkface.

And Summer in Toronto is where it is at, especially if you have a backyard, a big park nearby, a bike that works, and some kick-ass friends to spend time with. So thanks everyone and all for making this Summer so great!

It's a mad mad world

2010-06-26T21:12:00.001-04:00

This weekend marks the G20 conference here in Toronto. As highly anticipated as the Olympics in Vancouver with as much controversy. But guess what it's not ending in an all time Canadian Gold Medal/Olympic History win and people hugging police/each other in the streets. This is most definitely a fail.

And let's not blame Toronto- I'm pretty sure not ONE person that lives in this city wanted the G20 here. Who could blame them? These sort of "meetings" (let's face it- glad handing and back slapping of global fat cats) haven't ended well since the "Battle in Seattle".

I believe in social justice, I believe in our right to peaceful assembly and our freedom of speech. It's a basic human right after all. But I didn't get up and march today, instead I stayed home and seethed in anger, with bouts of worry about friends protesting, at the destruction that was laid forth.

There is a dissident group of douchey f*cks who come protest at large events like this to incite chaos. I'm not naming them on purpose because they don't deserve one iota of air time. Today, there was a 10 thousand strong protest in Toronto against SO many issues- and this is the time, the world leaders are here, they should be made to listen.

My friend and her daughter wore shirts that said "we will NOT shut the fuck up"- loosely this is a comment on Stephen Harper's refusal to give aid to developing countries that allow legal abortion. Last I checked, I'm a woman- Stephan Harper is a man- he can NEVER be raped and forced to carry the child of something so horrific as rape, what gives him the right? And to say that is how our whole country feels? (and anyone that wants to challenge this statement- we ALL know someone who has been the victim of rape- imagine if they had to have a child of it?)

I agree with these protests, the PEACEFUL protests, that did happen. But we all knew what was going to happen- the carnage and wreckage, the taunting of the police until they broke. The world leaders knew this, but they didn't really care. Frankly a more suitable protest would have been for all of us to chip in $5 and pay off their staff at the various hotels and conference centres to stop working/not show up. THAT would have thrown things into disarray far more than ten thousand people marching.

Since Seattle there has been precedent of destroying things to "damn the man". I was on the subway today and heard some terrible little youngins talking about - going to protest. What did they say- what was their spiel? They wanted to get "TO THE WALL, man" like this WHOLE thing is just some terrible Pink Floyd spin off. Here they are trying to damn the man in their Dickies cargoes and Doc Marten boots and who, I am very very sure, will be hitting up a McDonalds to satisfy their hunger on their way home.

I must be getting old because the hypocrisy of youth makes me want to punch them in the face.

And what bothers me is that these people don't have any idea, I don't even have any real idea about the G20, so I stayed away, because I can't protest something I don't totally understand.

But let's think on this- the people destroying American Apparel (and while it outfits hipsters and should be burned/the guy who owns it is a lech/pedophile) thinking it's "big business" don't have any idea that the owner of American Apparel fights in his own way against illegal immigrant laws in California that are meant to keep Hispanic people down.

People throwing bricks at a Starbucks, while I agree- their coffee is pretty bad (unless you are in Australia and then it's kind of a North American manna)-they were a SMALL business, who were able to thrive and rise to the top.

And did anyone think about all the people who are being called right now saying, "don't come into work", or "sorry you don't have a job anymore" because their work place is destroyed? While you think you are "hurting" the big wigs of these corporations- all you are doing is hurting the struggling masses and forcing them into the social system because you destroyed their workplace so now they can't make rent.

So again the acts of a few will screw over the many- so THANK YOU anarchists, you just diverted money from social programs to the police in a city that most of you don't live in or care about. Are you sure you aren't working for them?

And THANK YOU G20, because you knew this would happen, and you let it happen- why is that? Because here we spend so much time talking about the protest to really understand what is happening behind closed doors. Your tactics are despicable.

I feel hurt; as a citizen of this city that I LOVE, that represents so much of what can be good in the world and it could be treated so disrespectfully by both the big and little guy.

Violence is NEVER the answer, if you have to resort to it- you are a small small person.

*UPDATE*

This is the Globe and Mail's link to the full statement released by the G20. READ IT, this is what we need to be protesting and holding them accountable for. http://tgam.ca/8BV

And thank you to the Globe and Mail and CBC for reporting on what is going on and keeping sensationalist journalism to a minimum.

The Examined Life

2010-06-09T13:33:00.000-04:00

It's an interesting thing being single and living alone. I've been at it for a few years now. Just tonight as I was compulsively tidying up the kitchen and marveling at the way I placed my pear for morning (just to the left of my Hokusai poster- I like asymmetry) I started to wonder if it is good for humans to live alone.

I'm not sure I could live with a flatmate anymore, I'm selfish about my privacy(which reminds me of my favourite Tom Waits song-Better Off Without A Wife) and in Toronto it costs probably about the same as what I'm paying, or more to live in a swish place with a flatmate. (And I use the term flatmate because it's more appropriate- we share a flat/apartment/rooms, not a room) I could conceivably and would be probably pretty happy to live with someone again. heh- but I might need to learn how not to be the one date wonder first.

But living alone, it's a delicious ode to solitude. Everything has a place and everything in its place. Now that I'm spending most of my waking life in the apartment, it's becoming highly organized. I scoffed at my brother when he told me he vacuums every night, but am I that far behind? Tonight after placing my pear- just so- I also took out a coffee mug and placed it riiiight where it needed to be for first thing in the morning.

I know in myself I have a tendency towards a bit of compulsiveness, is living alone an environment where this can thrive? Will I become more and more set in my ways and more and more neurotic the longer I co-habitate with just me?

When you live alone, a sense of order rings out over everything you do- to others it can look like total chaos, but it's a well orchestrated dance of one.

But if you live with others, or even a pet there are aspects of your universe that you cannot control. There is a modicum of spontaneity enforced upon you. And this of course lends itself to being flexible and adaptable in the face of change and circumstance.

It's not easy being alone, you have a lot of time on your hands. Time with which to think, and think over and think over again. It's a magnifying glass on your life. The petri dish that is your apartment is under the microscope. And sometimes I feel that if I make my apartment perfect enough, then the rest of my life will be perfect too. Except there are outside circumstances outside of my apartment, things beyond my control which contribute to the non-perfectness of life.

Sometimes I wish little gnomes would come in and a)make shoes in the night (I mean come on, shoes! in the night? I need shoe gnomes-we allll do.) and b) move that pear to under the middle of the poster, just so I'll have to deal with a bit of a unexpected circumstance and keep me flexible.

Melbournia!

2010-05-26T20:09:00.000-04:00

At the beginning of my third month in Australia, Pili, Deb, Tara and I went to Melbourne for the weekend.

I'd heard great things about this city from the crew, so I was really excited to check it out! Deb and I flew out at the same time on Friday, so we met (extremely early- to our mutal delight) at Central Station to catch the train to the airport.

Once through customs we celebrated with some tapas and a glass of wine- what a great way to beging the weekend. The flight itself is about and hour and half long- possibly shorter. And you cross into another state, New South Wales housing Sydney (and the beach where they shoot Neighbours!!), Melbourne being housed further south in Victoria. ( Does anyone else find it disturbingly odd that Syndey/Sidney and Victoria keep following me around?)

Once in Melbourne, we waited for Pili and Tara to arrive and then headed to our apartment/hotel on Bourke St. It's what they would call a serviced apartment, or for us not in the know- a hotel room with a kitchen. Pili found it online and the price was great, the location excellent and the service wonderful. It was a two bedroom, with a sitting area, kitchen and spacious bathroom- (with a GIANT tub!)- very nice stuff!

We got ready and headed out to a quick bite and then off to the main reason we were in town- to see the show that Deb had helped curate through her media curation business www.newmediacuration.com it was a really interesting installation, made all the more fun with the flowing champagne!

Melbourne is a really beautiful city, one of the features that I very much enjoyed are the little alleys packed chockablock full of nifty shops and restaurants. We occasioned onto one alleyway and had a delicious breakfast even though we were all a bit worse for wear from the night before!

We then headed to Chapel Street for some exciting shopping, this is Pili's favourite place to shop and I can see why, a lot of small shops and independent or small designers, you are always sure to find something unique. By the time we got there we were all hungry again and made our way to a cafee for a quick lunch- or so we thought.

Just as we were finishing our lunch- a storm broke out. Melbourne has a reputation for wild weather and this did not disappoint. At one point I thought I saw snow, but it was hail, and a lot of it. The the rain started in earnest, to the point of flooding the streets and into the restaurant. I've never really witnessed flash flooding before, it is a bit scary and I was happy we were inside, even if our seats ended up getting flooded on to.

Not to be deterred by ridiculous weather we sallyed forth and hit the shops. Those that were open, that is- due to the storm most shops were out of power and/or flooded. I did managed to pick up a pair of lacoste flats for the amazing price of $10. I have bargin mojo- I get it from my mum. AND they are such a bright happy yellow. I've worn them out once when I know it's not going to rain AT ALL.

A bit dejected about the lack of shopping we were able to get in, we headed back to the hotel for a rest and then out on the town for another night of semi-debauchery.

We went to a club we weren't able to get into the night before, and Pili and I shook our booty until it could not shake anymore. Or until it cried out for McDonald's (fun fact: you just don't GET ketchup in Australia, all condiments have to be requested and paid for)

Next day we headed out to an aread of town I can't at all remember the name of. I really like it though! Tara seemed quite familiar with it- I think she may have a propensity towards Melbournian men (and hey- with anyone that comes from a city that has the word Bourne in it- could they be that horrible?)

I ended up in Melbourne for an extra day due to inclement weather- and that kind of sucked. But it was also very nice to spend time in a city by myself. I'm becoming more and more an "on my own" type person. Not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. I think, in my mind I hold out for -the ONE- that I will be eternally happy to spend every(somewhat) waking moment with and travel the world. But part of me worries, am I TOO independent? Can anyone give me as good a conversation as I give myself?

It's my hood

2010-05-19T22:41:00.000-04:00

Last night I was feeling a bit bored. So I texted (I'm not a big "caller") one of my neighbours/friends that I hadn't seen since I got back and we arranged to meet for Pho up in the Junction. We had a great time getting caught up and with a bit of dawdling outside and promises to go out dancing (and I WILL hold you to that!) she scooted off and I began walking home.

On my way home through the slightly cool air I saw people out walking their dogs, strolling down the sidewalk, biking in the bikelanes, and a group of kids playing late night basketball in one of the schools.

I cannot think of one instance I have ever felt unsafe in Toronto, "The City of Neighbourhoods" even in my darkest moments of despair I can always think about where I live and it puts a smile on my face.

So let me tell you about where I live.

I live directly in between Bloor West Village and "The Junction" (the area between Runnymede and Keele on Dundas West). The street I live on in a semi-main artery cross town, but it's quiet enough that I can lay in bed at night and listen to the wind or the rain, or the stillness of the stars burning in the sky.

On my corner there is an organic butcher, a chinese restaurant, 2 corner stores, an organic pizza shop, a greasy spoon, a hardware store, a weird small church, a wine maker shop, a laundromat, an eyeglass shop, and a few other private businesses. For the amount of business this is a quiet corner. When you look down the street in the summer, you can't see for leafy trees covering the street.

I never understood why we needed so many convenience stores (when I moved here there were 3- 1 has since closed down) but I quickly realized, you only walk as far as your own corner. Terribly convenient.

Ten minutes in either direction (north or south) are the Village and Junction, with a greater variety of shops and services.

This is a neighbourhood where people walk by you on the street and say hello, they smile at you. If you are struggling with something, they will help you. It's safe, I've been known to leave my bike out- unlocked- with no repercussions. People gather on their front porches and in their backyards.

I've never grown up with a sense of community or neighbourhood until I moved here. People know my name, they look out for me. They know what I like to have on my hamburger and how I take my coffee. In turn I try to frequent their businesses and tell others about what great services they provide. We look out for each other. It's how I imagine living in a small town would be, but better.

When I was younger and couldn't sleep my Dad and I used to go for neighbourhood walks at night- the thing with moving out to the country is that people are VERY interested in their privacy and deeply suspicious of those who appear too friendly. Living in a big city with limited private space (and don't get me wrong, I have way more than most people where I live) has taught me about what it means to be a good neighbour.

Being a good neighbour means minding your own business, but being aware enough of others to be of service. If I didn't hear the girl upstairs for a day, I would go up and knock and make sure she's ok. I know she would do the same for me as well. It's about anonimity and security all wrapped up together.

It's what I think heaven is like. The more I spent time in this neighbourhood, the more connections I make, the happier I am. I'm living in the greatest city in Canada and I can sit in the silence of my backyard gazing up at the trees and it feel the quiet around me.

It's lovely and I recommend it.

Spring Time

2010-04-12T20:36:00.000-04:00

Let's take a break from talking about Sydney shall we? Because of my laziness/tiredness when I was there I didn't post anything so now I have to do catch up.

But I am here, in Toronto, now- where Spring is happening.

The weather since I have been back has been really quite wonderful. There have been a few days of rain, but not that many. On the whole it's been sunny blue skies and crispy temperatures.

I first moved to Toronto in January, it was very cold and snowy. Delightful, really. And Spring came in March that year. My next year, Spring came much later- May, and I realized that the advent of the New Year, in the rest of Canada, does not mean that Spring is around the corner. Spring generally sets in on Vancouver Island, towards the end of January, so New Year is sort of like the end of Winter. But for the rest of Canada New Year signals the beginning of the deep freeze, the dark days of Winter that loom ahead. It's a lot to get your mind around.

And Spring, well that can come slowly, as it is doing this year, or it can come quickly, like last year. Spring started around the 2nd week of May- and by the end of May it was full on Summer. You could be out walking one day and notice that there wasn't a trace of Spring anywhere, no leaves budding on trees, no pussy willows whistling in the breeze- just barren winter landscape. And then- and I kid you not- three days later the trees were almost fully leafy and tulips were up it is unbelievable. And then the heat kicked in.

Spring this year is hanging out on the regular, at a medium pace. So when you go for walks- as I have been doing these past few days, you can see the beginnings of the leaves on the trees- there are these beautiful yellow bush thingys that I really should learn the name of because I like them quite a bit. But they had so much colour to the streets. I don't think I'm above suggesting them to my landlord for the front, or perhaps out the back where I can see them from my living room window.

On my walk today, the birds were out- I saw some large Hawks or Eagles, a very yellow bird, a very red bird and some birds that COULD be bluejays- I'm not sure since I've never seen one. Clearly I need a book on birds.

And the sky! I have very rarely seen a bluer sky than I do here, it's such a beautiful contrast to the red brick houses.

Ahh Spring! A time of hope, new beginning, the promise of the heat and headiness of Summer.

Michelle in a Stranger Land- Part 2

2010-04-07T22:44:00.000-04:00

There are some pretty nifty things about Sydney- it's very beachy. I am at heart a beach bum and some of my happiest and most peaceful moments in Australia were at the beach.

Living in Toronto that is one thing I do hunger for- the ocean. I'm not sure how to corrollate living near the ocean and having all the wonders of a big city on hand. Part of me hoped that Sydney would provide that for me, but it wasn't meant to be.

There are somethings about Canada/Toronto, North America/New York City that I am unwilling to part with. Really efficient mass transit is one of them, I don't think it's a secret that the transit in Sydney is pretty bad. And having to travel through the city every day was enough to set my teeth on edge-Literally. I spent most of my time on the bus gritting my teeth and wishing everything would explode, because then, at least, I would be off the bus.

Efficiency in general seems to have a lower priority in Australia- which is fine- I guess. But that just makes me feel uptight and I have realized I quite like being the relaxed one in my city relationships. I think it has to do with its proximity with Asia- where there is a buddhist- it will happen... eventually... attitude and you have to go with the flow.

As someone who has struggled with the notion of patience all her life, this was a bitter pill to swallow. I am sure there was/is a great lesson to learn from all of this- but HA HA I am not only impatient, but stubborn and I refuse your lesson universe- this time.

But what about the goods? The positives? The yeah let's do THAT again. Alright eager readers- here are THE GOODS.

The beach- oooh the beaches are sexy and delicious and the water is warm and the surfer boys are hawt. Even on mass transit you are only an hour max away from a great beach at any one time. I hit the biggies, Manly, Bondi, Coogee- Coogee being my fave I think. Although having a drink at the Bondi Beach Bar was pretty wonderful. I spent a couple of fun times at Coogee- one night out with Deb and her friends drinking vodka in the sand and late night swimming and then some even later night dancing.

Australia Day- which I feel happy to have been around for, was spent at Collins Beach a little bay in Manly and that was just awesome. Great people, delicious picnic food and plenty of swimming. I might have burned a little, but it was worth it.

A side note- Aussies are much more like American's than they are Canadians- which isn't a bad thing, they are out going and a proud people and really think they are the shit. I did NOT wear my Kiwi pride t-shirt in Australia. (even though I wanted to- go All Blacks!!)

The People: the people and friends that I had and made here are great. I really do miss hanging out with Pili Pie and Deebs and meeting the group of friends they have made there. Interestingly I made friends of my own and they were all from Melbourne- I think they are just a friendlier breed. I will say that Karen and Xanthe- who are amazing and wonderful- are from Sydney, they may be the execptions that proves the rule, but I'm a better person to have known them.

Deebs- Deb is human prozac. I mean she's not insanely happy all the time, but pretty close and you can't help but being really happy when you are around her. She is absolutely the most positive up beat person I have ever met in my whole life. And she likes art! A pocket friend of the highest order. Plus we have the same shoe size so FINALLY someone I could share shoes with!

Pili Pie- Pili is awesome- how else can you describe her? Fashionable, tasteful, good singer (as I found out), generous to a fault. Without a doubt the best times I had at the publishing company were when Pili and I shared an office (and would sneak off with LeMar to the lake for "lunch") and it was so nice to spend every day time with her. She and Clif (who through the 2 degrees of separation that is Van. Isle-we went to school together) let me live in their place in Glebe for cheap cheap. I've had instances of living with couples that makes me want to run in the other direction, but this was not so. They are awesome- awesome flatmates.

Jenn with two n's- The most fun and wonderful Aussie I have met. I just really super duper love her. She taught me the saying "prawns" and introduced me to her super fun flatmates as well. Really I just want to package her up and bring her over to Canada so she can hang with the cool kids here! (pictured with Matti)

The sour cream- it may seem a bit weird, but this sour cream is just unreal. It's like crack- cow crack. I would do ANYTHING to get this stuff over here. That's right- ANYTHING.

Pineapple Lumps- technically a Kiwi delight, but everyone knows that Aussies appropriate all things Kiwi (until they screw up)- hello Russell Crowe. Imagine pineapple mallows covered in a thing layer of chocolate. Just waiting to make love to your mouth. If coffee is unavailable for marriage, I think that Pineapple Lumps are my "Settling Soulmate"

And we'll leave it there for now- next up... MELBOURNIA

Michelle in a Stranger Land-Part 1

2010-04-07T21:20:00.000-04:00

What indeed can I say? What stranger land can you possibly think of than Australia?

Where the sun is hot, the animals are bouncy or poisonous- or a combination of bouncy and poisonous. The beer is watery, the wine is good- the ocean is warm and the vegemite is free flowing.

I'm just back from a three month stint in Sydney, as I am sure most of you know my grand 2010 plan was to move to Australia, and then it wasn't and just as quickly- it was. I was on a three month, let's try this out and see type of situation.

I had many posts written, and abandoned during my time there. Three months perhaps isn't enough time to suffer through the culture shock and get to just enjoying things. I've heard a year is about necessary, but I'm impatient and I wasn't waiting around for a year. Toronto beckoned!

So with a bit of distance between me and the land down under, I think I can post about it finally.

I arrived, sans my luggage (I have bargain shopping mojo at the expense of my travel mojo) in the dead heat of summer. And I mean HEAT. You have not experienced this kind of heat before, the oppressive mugginess of a billion degree heat.

Coming from -25 with wind chill and the dry dry blast of Ontario cold to +30 with at least 85% humidity is shocking to the system. SHOCKING.

On the whole I was ill prepared for the culture shock. I thought, oh well- I've lived in Britain, Australia is always touted as this quasi North American type of place. Well. Not so much. I can only give my eternal thanks to my friends Pili and Deb for trying to deal with me, not throwing me into the ocean and commanding that I leave immediately.

Pili's enfianced told me he was enraged for about a year, because let me tell you- Australia is much different to the world we live in. There are things that are just "different" and it definitely made me realize what a spoiled little first world cookie I am.

Now there is no way I would have made it through the three months without Pili and Deb. I have known these two crazy cats for years. I met Deb during Uni- we both worked at the SUB and we both were doing an undergrad in History in Art. My first real job after graduation I met Pili and we suffered the endless slings and arrows of the self publishing world.

Deb moved to Australia about 7 years ago and Pili followed 2 years later. Since they didn't know each other at the time, I took it upon myself to create more awesome in the world by introducing them to each other.

They have created a little wonderful bundle of ex-patness in Sydney with other Canucks, Americans, Armenians, Brits and who ever else you can find. The one thing about people in Sydney is they aren't very friendly. I'd had this perception of Aussies as being these ridiculously friendly lovable folk- but it's all area dependent I suppose. It is hard to crack into the Sydney crowd (much like it is hard to meet friends in Victoria). But what did I care? I had friends already!

A lot of the trip has been/was a blur. I definitely didn't do as much as I could have done- I will admit to spending a lot of my off time sleeping. It had to be done. I'm too old at this point to work ridiculous hours and have a social life.

That could be the one thing that Sydney taught me- maybe it is time to settle down. Maybe this gallavanting around the world has to stop and I need to focus and pony up a little bit. I'm still unsure of that part- but it was on my mind.

The countdown

2009-12-21T08:59:00.000-05:00

Well it is almost the end of the year- will soon be time for another yearly countdown! I'll have to start crunching numbers and working on my stats.

After spending a somewhat mellow weekend, it really is crunch time. I have about 5 lists that need to be accomplished in 3 days. Can I do it? Well I did WRITE the lists- seems shameful not to use them...

Big news, I'm laid off from my job come the new year. This could be good, ok it IS a good thing since I was stagnating there, but also bad in that eeep rent payments... bill payments... food (ha ha who am I kidding like I ever factor in food to my budget)... any type of social life. But what can you do IN THIS ECONOMY? (shout out to Michael K for that one).

Anyway- things are on the go I guess. In a few days time I'll be back in BC for the SECOND time this year- which surely should illicit some sort of pat on the head from those people out there.

Right- short post since I really ought to get dressed and get into work and finish things off. How I'd like to be the type of person who just walks away.

To the batmobile!

My Ego is writing cheques

2009-12-09T22:19:00.000-05:00

Probably because it hadn't snowed until TODAY! Finally finally there is snow and it's like we really live in Canada (well the GOOD parts anyway).

Someone just said I was like a "real Torontonian" not knowing where anything was geographically north of the 401. Could be the proudest moment of my year. Seriously.

Yep, I'm one of those douchebags- Toronto is centre of world, (NYC obviously centre of universe) why leave it? Really-give me a reason, that isn't a bigger and better city and you got yourself an argument. Nature? Pfft. I have High Park. Water? Pfft. I have Lake Ontario. What have you got? I mean really?

Speaking of introspection(oh I WILL BE) I am going out for Jennie's birthday in a week and we're going to Karaoke and I'm so nervous and scared. I can't sing and for as much as I am giant ham, it's all a big act- getting up and being a terrible fat singer in front of everyone makes me really nervous. It takes me back to being 12 and being laughed at by everyone on my softball team at a "team" party. That's right- it's only a team if you can marginalize one person. Bonding- gotta love it. I don't know what to do, I'll deal. I will get up there and submit to the experience, because I love Jennie. But fack! Stress!

So now it is winter (I know this because there is snow on the ground) and it's time for introspection. I've been thinking a lot about this lately, about my path in life and that sort of thing. I know for most of my peers it's been the old, get married, get knocked up (or vice versa) and the answers sort of take care of themselves- so what made me different?

The other day I though wow, at this age my parents had been together for almost 10 years and married for a good schwack of those. And I was 5, no longer the cute and adorable baby that I was (you all know i was!) but a terrifying toddler with some major issues because my parents DARED to have another child. Gods.

Actually today at work one woman mentioned that she had left her daughter in care of a 16 year old for a few hours, my boss was slightly aghast she would do this. But really- I was so much more responsible at 16 than I am now. If 16 year old me had had a baby, it would have a great life. Right now... I'm not sure i can part with the sleep or be that unselfish.

It is almost my 3 year anniversary of moving to Toronto. I could have not come, I could have just rode it out with the bad boyfriend but comfortable lifestyle who would have given me babies (although i wonder if I could have returned them when they became *gasp* people), but I would have always been yearning for something different.

Nope, I made the choice- I ripped myself out of the velvelt handcuffs and made a run for it. Most of the time it sucks, it's hard, I feel like a loser- and I have nothing but debt to show for my move here. But I'm free.

I. Am. Free.

and that makes it all worth it.

King Tut @ the AGO

2009-11-27T17:27:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow morning I have a ticket to get in bright and early and see the King Tut exhibit at the AGO! I've decided to start up an art blog so my first post will be impressions and discussions of the exhibit. Things that are running through my mind already: the ethics of a "funerary exhibit" how do we get around essentially pillaging someone's burial tomb for our enjoyment. This, coupled with the fact that these people whom we are viewing are now esssentially enjoying "immortality".

So- things to think about, plus there will be a bit of background about Tutankahmen (who really wasn't the most interesting of Pharoh's) and what I thought of the layout of the exhibit and my experience as a shmoe walking through it.

I won't be going whole hog and getting the audio tour, I'm too impatient for all that stuff, plus I've studied this so much that a lot will come back with just reading the descriptions.

This will be my 3rd major Egyptian Exhibit in the past few years. The first was the British Museum's Exhibit at the Royal BC Museum. That was a great exhibit because I had just finished a course in Egyptian Art where our main text was the British Museum's Collection, many of the things I had studied all semester/summer were on display for me.

When Dad was here, he and I went and saw the Book of the Dead at the ROM along with the accompanying exhibit. That was great!

And tomorrow King Tut! This is the first time the exhibit has been back in Canada in over 30 years and it's only Canadian Stop so I'm really excited that I'll be able to participate.

Once I have my blog post up I'll link to the new site.

TFIF!!!

Insomnia

2009-11-27T03:46:00.001-05:00

It is almost 3.30am, and I am awake. This week I've actually been waking up at 3.30am most nights, tonight I changed it up a little and woke up at 2.30. There isn't any rhyme or reason to it, Monday night I went to bed at 9pm, so that could have been part of it, but the other nights it's been a somewhat "normal" bedtime for me.

Which got me thinking about bed and sleeping, I love sleeping. Getting under the covers is probably the highlight of my day these days. I feel like I'm just killing time until I can get back into bed. This might not be a positive? But it feels pretty good to me. These days I go to bed on the early side, I'm usually in bed and asleep before 11pm. And except on gym days I rarely get out of bed before 8/8.30. I'm trying to put a finger on when this shift occurred and I all of a sudden needed over 9 hours of sleep to feel ok with life.

It could have been after quitting the second job, as I was so deprived of sleeping for over a year that maybe 1.5 years on I'm still playing catch up?

What I'd like is to be able to bounce out of bed in the morning and have time to do things before I have to begin daily drudgery at "job". Although I guess b/c "job" is pretty heinous right now I'm avoiding getting out of bed? The only thing that really EVER makes me bounce out of bed is travel. Which is why I need to be constantly planning a trip somewhere and have that tantalizing brass ring getting me out of bed.

In fact I haven't actually spent a day IN bed lately. Could it be this Sunday is a "duvet day"? I'm pretty sure I don't have anything planned and I know I'll be east end for dinner on Sat. night. This almost always means I have to take the "vomit comet" home to my side of the city. (the subways stop at about 1am on Saturday and those unlucky enough to not make it are subjected to riding the allnight bus that runs across town (in my case) on Bloor St West.) It takes a LONG time, but it's always an entertaining ride.

So, perhaps I will take Sunday and stay in bed and read. The problem with my nook is that there is no window-so I usually take to the couch and read. But this leads to me tidying up.

Anyway- I'm still awake and we are approaching the 4 hour. FUN. Such a weird time to wake up, not late enough in the morning to just get up and go to the gym or something, and not early enough to be up for a bit without feeling like crap the next day.

Sigh.

Falling

2009-11-17T14:40:00.004-05:00

Lately things have been happening out here in the greatest city in the worllllld!

It's fall, the leaves changed about a billion different colours and now they are all falling to the ground. I heard tell that it might snow this weekend.

I'm pretty excited about that. I love snow. I think it is just the cat's pyjamas that here! where I live! there are four discernible seasons. FOUR- count em! With all the traits of a traditional season! Not just- warmish and rainy (spring/fall or summer) and coolish and rainy(spring/fall/winter). I'm pulling out my winter gear, haven't pulled out the heavy winter jacket yet, but it's coming soon! I can feel it.

This season hot boots are in style. I'm getting pretty envious of all the awesome bootedness that I see before me. But last week I went out and bought the Ipod Touch in a fit of emotional spending. And let me tell you- nothing feels better than emotional spending. NOTHING.

The touch is pretty amazing, I was deliberating earlier on in the fall as to whether I should get an iphone, since all the kids are getting them and I'm a complete lemming. But I also needed internet in my house so getting that plus the data plan for the iphone (or any fancy pants phone) was too much for me.

And the iTouch fills the gaps, it allows me to connect to any wireless network it can steal so I can now tweet and let the world know on my new and up to the minute goings on. It has a larger capacity for toonage! And there are other nifty applications that are increasing the value in my life immensely. Let's discuss shall we?

Sex Facts: because you just can't ever know enough...
White Noise: becoming increasingly addicted to listening to the ocean while falling asleep
Alarm Clock: (note I actually paid for this app- the rest I download for free) allows me to wake up to a specific song on my ipod. ME LIKEY
Urban Spoon: triangulates your position in the world and then you shake it and it tells you food nearby. Ummm awesome?! Hungover brunches just got easier!
Maps: I could quite possibly never be lost again.
Keyboard: I can practise the piano, well at least one hand of the piano...

So that's that. I mean there is SO MUCH MORE- but that's it for right now. Evenings have been spent playing on the Pod. And I'm really enjoying iTunes "Genius Mixes" I suggest you check it out if you can wait for the download (I have 13 GB of music and it took about 15 minutes) but it's really letting me listen to my music by mood/genre and hearing a great range of what I have.

Since we're entering the wintery time, there will be more time spent indoors and I need some new hobbies- so I put this out there to you people! What should my hobbies be? The only restrictions are that they should be relatively cheap. What do you like to do in your spare time?

Ideally I'd like a variety of hobbies that are both social and not-social. I also don't have cable, which is good- in that I have a lot of time that I don't spend watching TV, but also things like knitting are effing boring if you aren't watching TV.

OH- and I've just recently gotten married- FYI, it was pretty easy and uncomplicated!! I'm not quite sure WHO I'm married to, I suspect my friend Jennie, since her hubby already has a wife. And everyone needs a wife! Or maybe I just married Stu's band (Vedette- check em out on myspace- vedettecanada- they RAWK). But I'm officially a "band-wife" yay me! Pretty sure we celebrated with shots of Jagermeister (seriously, my dream wedding...)

That is all- for now. I'm sure once we have the first snow fall I'll be updating with EXCITMENT and awesomeness.

A Mourrail

2009-10-06T18:05:00.014-04:00

As some of you might know, I adore traveling. And living in Toronto affords you so many exciting travel opportunities within a reasonable time and expense. So it's a bit shocking that I haven't yet gone to Montreal.

Well, this past weekend that all changed. My friend Jennie and I decided in the summer to plan a weekend out there- and so we did! I rented a car for the weekend and we booked a VERY cheap hotel. At the last minute my friend Isabel decided to come along so expenses were cut even cheaper!

I rented a car, and I was pretty excited about driving again. It's been since I toodled around Victoria in April. I've never driven in Toronto, but really driving is just driving and one great thing, they drive fast enough here!

Early(ish) Friday I picked up Isabel and headed up to the "nosebleeds" to pick up Jennie. Then we got ourselves caffinated and put our on Thelma and Louise style headscarves and booked it out of the city! BON VOYAGE!

The drive to Montreal is pretty easy- you get on the 401 and head right- that's about it, it's not as exciting as driving through the rockies but not as dull as driving across the prairies. And the leaves were just starting to turn so the colours were great!

We arrived in the city from the South? I think- I am directionally challenged, all I really remember is taking some VERY rickety looking overpasses, nothing like exposed re-bar to make you feel secure as you are driving over and under a river. It took a little bit as our faithful navigator TomTom seemed to have some issue with the language change (could he be from BC?) but we made it to our hotel and got checked in. The hotel was indeed seedy! But you get what you pay for, and when you are paying less than $30/night for a hotel expectations must be kept to a minimum.

From there we drove up Mont Royal to get some scenic Vista shots of the city. I had had thoughts of getting there via transit or foot- but we had a car! Let's not waste this opportunity to be lazy. And I'm sure glad we did! It is kind of high up! After that we had a bit of a mission finding the parking I had sussed out for us. All of the research I had done on Montreal cried, "This city SUCKS for parking!" And yes, it kind of does. However we found our parking garage under Le Bibliotheque Nationale- camera secure, reasonable ($10/24 hours), and about 7 minutes from the hotel.

We all had a bit of freshen up time (and beer!) and then headed out for a wander on the streets- turns out we're all a bit directionally challenged, but Isabel must contain more estrogen as she made us check the map and figure out where we were and where we should head to. I will just go with my being lostness, generally because I don't want to look like "a tourist", although hopelessly lost seems to be just fine.

We finally made our way to Rue St. Denis (I think- really I have no idea where I was all weekend, I kind of said- I am driving us here and back and that's all I can do- lead on!) and we found a nice Indian restaurant to have dinner at. OR SO WE THOUGHT.

By all accounts it SHOULD have been a nice place, it smelled good, it was bustling inside, everyone seemed happy. And it was alright, until the food came. I had ordered a Rogan Josh (lamb) because it's one of the spicier options- I like me some spicy. But I thought, you don't know this place so don't go whole hog and get the Vindaloo- don't want to spend my trip to Montreal strapped to the toilet. However, the food was, in a word- bland. We all found this to be the case. Not spicy and not spiced. As much as I love burning my mouth off with some spiciness, I definitely appreciate a delicately spiced meal. Major fail on both counts. It just tasted like tomatoes, with a side of staples. YES- staples. I found a staple in my food.

The best part of this dinner was calling over the waiter and letting him know there was a staple in my food- he didn't apologize or fall all over himself trying to placate me- but just heaved a giant sigh and shook his head and wandered away in what looked like a- NOT AGAIN- type of mode. It was really hilarious. I have learned that often lamb is stapled together in its preparation, so it wasn't like a random person was coallating over my food. Their naan was quite tasty though- I will say that. And if I could remember the name I'd go and give this place a poor review- good thing I can't remember the name.

After dinner we headed out to a hookah bar. I've never been to one of these before, nor have I ever smoked a hookah. But if the catepillar from Alice in Wonderland can do it- so can I. And all in all it was my favourite part of the evening. Smoking hookah is very interesting, it's relaxing but not intoxicating, and easy on the lungs as it's processed through water. And oh yeah, one other thing- DELICIOUS, there are a variety of "flavours" you can choose- Jennie has done this before so she choose and it was a delicious mix of roses and apples and some other things.

We headed back to the hotel after that because- honestly, I was zonked. I didn't sleep well on Thursday night and all that driving is actually tiring.

Saturday we were up and out by 9.30 or 10am and headed to Beauty's for breakfast. This was up on/near St. Laurent and we arrived just as it really started raining. We managed to sit out most of the rain during breakfast and then walked down St. Laurent, wandering in and out of the neat-o stores they have along the strip. We saw the famous smoked meat place- that I now can't remember the name of. (too much hookah the night before?) There was a massive line up outside of it, and I guess it's like that ALL the time.

After a brief respite of refreshements we headed out to Vieux Montreal (Old Montreal) we arrived and walked up to Notre Dame which is a giant church- (Quebecers are into churches) to find a wedding just finishing up, we stood for a bit and watched the photos being taken. Jennie of course being a newlywed was all giddy and excited, Isabel and I being bitter singletons were a bit more meh about it.

Old Montreal is very european, the streets are cobblestone and narrow and well, just really lovely looking. While we were there it began to POUR with rain and my alert went off that we needed to plug the meter. So we headed back towards "new" montreal, not knowing how we'd get back in there but stumbled upon a very pretty fountain. And being giant nerds we took pictures of each other at the fountain in the rain. And a few of the bride and groom who were also out there for their wedding photos.

That evening we met up with Jennie's friends from Quebec City for dinner at a BYOW restaurant. It was quite nice, but ridiculously busy. And I was very tired and sore. Because of course, I decided to dress up nicely and wear my cream trousers! Which had to be paired with my patent black and cream heels for two reasons: 1) they look hot and 2) they keep the hem of the trousers from dragging on the ground.

This could have been a tactical error as we walked from our hotel to the restaurant which was a good 20 minute walk. These heels are what one calls "limo to lobby" shoes. Not meant for crazy activity, such as leisurely walking. They are there for one purpose- to make me look good. Anyway by the time we were seated and at the table and the wine was uncorked I had slipped off my shoes and was really enjoying myself!

After dinner je refuse to walk back to the hotel and Isabel, having imbibed the better part of a bottle of rose, was in no real state to walk and we cabbed it back. The cab driver had a couple of giggles at my tipsy attempts at french- but hey, when in QUEBEC do as the Quebecers do.

Jennie arrived back at the hotel shortly after we did and we staked out the party across the street, wondering if we should head on over there and rip er up for the rest of the night. After a few shots of vodka and some ridiculous giggling we decided to head out into the streets! We wandered around and watched the post-bar bru-ha-ha. Tried unsucessfully to get into a strip club, only because, as it turns out- it was really a brothel. And there is no way Jennie or I are going to pay $50 just to get into a place to oggle some ladies. I can go to the changeroom at the gym, or just stare into a mirror to oggle should I feel the need.

After some more of a wander, we headed back to the hotel, only to get stopped by the guy at the front desk who was in a word- weird. Jennie was a much better sport about it, I was just starting to fade into drunken oblivion. We were finally able to get back into our room and get to sleep at about 4am.

Sunday morning came FAR too quickly, but we managed to get up and get packed up. If you've ever wondered how much stuff 3 girls bring for 2 days away- I can tell you it's a LOT. And it's all TOTALLY necessary.

Once I fetched the car and loaded it up, we were off to Banquise for some poutine. This was on my must do list for Montreal- La Banquise is pretty much universally named one of the best poutine places in Montreal and the poutine in Quebec is delightful.

I've been a big fan of the poutine since my univsersity years, and to think how disgusting that poutine is compared to the real deal! This poutine, I got mine with bacon, was beyond delicious! Served piping hot and with a side of very strong Americano it hit the spot and cured any left over maliciousness from the night before.

From there we were off to the Jean Talon market- an amazing place, similar in concept to the St. Lawerence Market, but in more of an outdoor setting. I bought some very weird broccoli, cheese curds (for home made poutine), goat cheese of a couple varieties and a locally made wine. I love markets- they are so much nicer than a grocery store. We packed up our goodies and went off to see our final destination- Fairmont Bagels.

(I bought the weirdo brocs to the left of the purple cauliflower)

All out of Everything Bagels I had to make do with some Onion ones instead (ahh people LOVE it when I have those for breakfast) and a few sesame and poppyseed for those who think they are the only suitable bagels.

And thus began the trek home. It seemed long on the way back to Toronto, probably because I wasn't filled with the excitement of visiting a new city and hadn't quite slept much in the past 4 days.

We stopped briefly at a cheese farm where Jennie could buy some curds and we all picked up a little something. I myself bought a little mini bottle of maple syrup. TEENSY. And it will most likely last me years. As they say- a dab will do you...

I think we were near Cornwall, it was all picturesque: green fields, gravel driveways, two lane roads, mail boxes at the end of the drive. Isabel commented on how lovely it all was and how she could see herself out here in the future. My only thought was GADS WHERE IS THE CITY- if I don't see some concrete soon I will FREAK THE HELL OUT.

And thus- confirmed- I am a city girl.

Amen for that. And thanks to Montreal for being such a lovely city. I can't wait to go back and spend more time. Maybe late spring....

The City of Angels- or LA LA Land- or Walking in LA

2009-10-01T15:57:00.005-04:00

The trip to LA was uneventful. I flew via Detriot and I was so tired by the time I got on the plane I passed out for the whole ride. For me, this is unusual. I don't sleep much when I'm traveling because it's so damn EXCITING! I'm on a plane/train/automobile and going somewhere and and (this is usually when I start bouncing in my seat a little).

I'm not really used to making connections on flights and I forgot how stressful it can be. I made the connection with a few minutes to spare, but not enough to get myself a good meal along the way. Or even a crappy meal- so I was forced to buy something on the plane. I got the fruit and cheese plate- couldn't bring myself to shell out for a sandwich. It was surprisingly good, a variety of cheeses that didn't include marble cheddar, but Brie and a Weslydale and Gouda and some quite nice crackers. But not that satisfying.

By the time I arrived at LAX I was starving, my "boss" for the week was about an hour behind me, and for some reason I thought oh I'd better get to her gate as soon as possible, surely there will be some food near there. So I walked by the variety of food places and on I went. Only to arrive at her gate and find a Starbucks. I am not a sweet person (right mum?!) so being shown the option between lemon cake, cookies and biscotti I'll choose- none of them. I was able to buy some really overpriced almonds and a bottle of water. Dinner-fail.

Once I picked up Boss Lady (BL) we went to the hotel at the airport and had some room service. I'm not sure what it is about California that makes me crave hamburgers. Everytime I've been there, and the last time was in my early teens, i don't think I ate anything BUT hamburgers (and pineapple DoleWhip) the whole time I was there- including breakfast. This time I managed to branch out a little and eat more than just hamburgers the whole time. Yay me!

The week was a bit of a whirlwind BL was just in the process of renting an apartment in Beverly Hills (90210) so we spent a fair bit of time going to various places, Ikea mainly, and other stores to get everything set up for her. There was a lot of putting together Ikea furniture on my part. It wasn't all that bad, but I will say this: If you are a coffee drinker, do not try to assemble Ikea furniture before you have your morning coffee. Nothing good will come of it. NOTHING.

There were some outings to meet with people in "the industry" that BL had to meet with. I was in on one of those meetings, interesting stuff.

I did get to have a tasty breakfast at a little breakfast place near BL's apartment. Although I was disconcerted to find that they chopped up my asparagus on my eggless Benny. I can't say I'm really that keen on chopped up asparagus, I like a full stalk to nibble.

On the Friday I was starting to get a bit tired, I had some of the afternoon off and went down to one of the MoCA buildings that was nearby. There was only one installation on at that time, but it was really interesting and I was glad to see a little bit of the arts when I was there.

Then I headed up to Hollywood Blvd, as I was on a mission to go to Hot Topic and pick up a couple of t-shirts for my friend's teen monster. It was VERY hot out and I wasn't super keen on being up around such a touristy part of town- but I did manage to find the t-shirts and pick up a few stupid fridge ornaments. From there I decided to walk back to Beverly Hills- I KNOW- walkig in LA! THE HUMANITY.

But I did and I spent the next two hours trudging back to the apartment. I found it to be rather nice and I did pass by some really interesting homes. Plus it was nice to get out and walk after a week of being mostly driven everywhere.

Some of the highlights:

Seeing Spider Man just casually walking down the street.
The big smoke cloud over Burbank as the hills were burning (in a train wreck sort of way)
After a week of intense Toronto humidity, the dry dry super hot heat.
Being on the same time zone as le famille.
HAMBURGERS!
Getting to know BL much better, and her impression of going to DisneyLand made me almost pee.

It was a really intersting experience and I think it was a great break in the summer to get out of the city a bit. I wish I had been able to get down to the Ocean to see it, I don't like to miss a chance at that.

And I do think it's true about what they say- you are either a New York person or a LA person. I am the former, there is no question about that at all. LA is fine to visit, but in no way could I live there. I once had a conversation about this with Janos when comparing Toronto and Vancouver. I think it's somewhat similar- Toronto is a very much east coast/seaboard type of city, where Vancouver is very west coast. I am a Toronto person, gosh my heart just about bursts everytime I see the CN Tower, I can't get enough of this city. It's second only to NYC I think. There are such beautiful places in the world to see, and I am sure that many of them will capture me as well. But for now, Toronto is where I hang my hat.

It reminds of that song- All my exes live in Texas. And that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee.

Indeed.

Summer Part 2

2009-10-01T15:46:00.002-04:00

August is where the fun and the sun begins. Summer in July was a bit damp, but the weather in August really turned things around. The wedding being the kick off point to a very fun rest of the summer. After that it was parties and bbqs galore. Mid-month I had a host of visitors in town.

Janos was in Montreal to photograph a wedding and decided to step out to Toronto to check out the city and catch up. It was so great to have him around again! He and I are former flatmates and were always having fun in the kitchen cooking up a variety of items. When he was here he introduced me to a delicious cucumber salad (cukes, garlic and sesame oil-done) and we had some great lettuce wraps with a thai peanut sauce.

Two days after he arrived my youngest cousin, Cam, arrived from Kelowna for a couple of days before he moved to The Netherlands for a year of University. We hadn't seen each other in at least 3 years so it was great to catch up with him again. He and Janos and I went for a delicious and authentic mexican dinner at Christie and Bloor and then headed to the Skydome for a baseball game- Janos being a baseball fan with no teams in Vancouver. Cam and I are less enthusiastic fans (read not fans at all) but had a great time up in the nosebleeds drinking beer and laughing with and at the rowdy fans. Janos managed to score a free expensive seat and really enjoyed it.

That evening as well my best friend Briana arrived in town, it was like friend overload in the best possible sense. I picked her up from the airport and it was just beyond wonderful to be able to hug her again. And she brought me some Okanagen Cherries!

Next day was brunch out with all of us and some wandering around Kensington market. A summer storm was brewing so it was ridiculously hot and muggy- it made it very hard to wander around and check things out. I was hosting a bbq that evening to have my Toronto friends meet my BC friends. The preparations were plentiful and the food was really good, but after the second guest had arrived a loud crack was heard and it started to POUR with rain. I mean torrential downpour pour. So we all ran inside to see if we could out wait the storm enough to start the BBQ.

My apartment is not large, it's really pretty teensy and having 8 of us in my living room on a beyond muggy evening was really interesting. Or in other words HOT. But the rain finished up and we were able to get the BBQ up and running and work on stuffing our little faces with a bunch of delicious food. I love hosting a party, I JUST love it. I'm also really good at it. Part of me wishes that I had a bigger place so I could have lovely dinner parties and friends over all the time. Not yet.

During this time I had been asked to go to Los Angeles to be a personal assistant for a week. It all seemed to line up, I was booked to leave on Saturday afternoon to fly out there. The bbq was Thursday as Janos and I had to hit a wedding in Terra Cotta on Friday.

We might have lazed about on breakfast on Friday morning a bit too long as we were a bit rushed heading up there, having to run an errand downtown. And since I don't drive in the city I had no idea about the horror and frustration that is downtown driving. I'm not sure why anyone does it. And apparently I have become a backseat driver, which is mortifying and Janos has since accepted my apologies about that.

The wedding itself was lovely and there wasn't a trace left of the previous days storm (which in fact caused quite a bit of damage slightly north of the city due to Hurricanes). The setting was picturesque along a river and everyone seemed happy and beaming. I admit to not being in best form because of stress/lack of sleep/I'm an asshole. But it was a fun time and we had a really intersting talk with the Father of the Groom- who used to work for the TTC. It was so interesting to hear about the behind the scenes of the subway.

Saturday morning we met up with Briana for a brunch at Easy- which is definitely my favourite brunch spot in the city. And then we headed back home, Janos packed up and left for the airport, I ran around doing work and errands for my trip. Cam and I got an hour or so to relax before we all headed to the airport and we were off to all corners. Briana back to Vancouver, Cam to Amsterdam and me to LA.

Summer Part 1

2009-10-01T15:17:00.004-04:00

My friend Jennie has commanded me to start updating my blog, and since she's pretty bossy and the mum of a teenmonster it's just best to do what she says.

This summer has definitely been one of the top three on record. I have had so much fun, and my love of Toronto has only deepened, making it clear to me that I am not ready to leave this wonderful city any time soon. So I'm doing something new, I'm taking a stand and going to put down some roots. While running away and into new adventure could it be more daring to just stay put? I guess we shall see.

There were two weddings this summer, one of my former roommate Jackie in Victoria, and the other of Jennie here in Toronto. I had only got to know Jennie in the late spring, but she's hella awesome so I keep hanging around her. We've had some pretty good adventures as well and she is a trusty gym buddy and a really kick ass cook!

Jennie's wedding was great, one absolutely fantastic party, that went off splendidly. The weeks leading up to it were full of the usual near disasters. It's funny how every year I swear off helpign at a wedding and every year it's another wedding. I just can't stay away. Must be my inherent masochism.

I didn't do a lot of traveling this summer, I went out to Belleville for a weekend with my Uncle which was fun. We went to Sandbanks National Park http://www.out-there.com/sandbank.htm
for a couple of days. The weather wasn't as warm as it SHOULD have been, so there was minimal swimming, but I got in the lake a couple of times and did end up with a bit of a sunburn.

As far as I can remember July was a fairly low-key month. Just working and hanging out with Jennie or Isabel on the weekends doing something or other. OH and wedding work up, and work outs.

I can pinpoint the exact moment summer started for me. I had had a fun night out (on a school night- shameful!) and was at work in a tired sort of giddy mood. One Dr. Stacy took me up to the Junction to get some food at the local organic grocery store. I spotted some organic Okanagen Cherries and was ready to plonk down a hefty chunk of change for them. I was expecting to pay about $12 for the bag, and oooh it would have been worth it. But when she rang through my items it came out to about $9 including tax. I did a bit of a double take and realized she had grossly undercharged me for the cherries. Did I say anything- no. Am I going to hell-yes. Was it worth it? Abso-effing-lutely. When it comes to Okanagen Cherries morals have zero meaning.

So sitting on the steps in the beautiful sunshine at lunch hour scarfing down deliciously sun warmed cherries was the moment that summer really began for me. And with a kick off like that, how could it be anything but amazing?

A girl's best friend

2009-06-30T07:29:00.004-04:00

A while back I posted a spot about the ring I inherited from my grandmother. It was all whiny about unrequited love and I pretty much deleted it after a few hours. I've had time to think about this ring, and what it means to me- and it is so much more than a symbol of love that was not to be. It's about survival and endurance and making choices.

My grandomother, Jean, was a survivor, an adventuress who had such determination of spirit I've never been anything but proud of her accomplishments which by today's standards seem insignificant.

This ring I wear, was given to her as an engagement to a Canadian soldier in the second world war. But he died, somewhere in Italy. I've seen the telegram she received about his death, it is heartbreaking. To see your world shatter on a piece of paper, in a a few written words isn't an enjoyable experience whatever the medium, paper computer, cell phone. And the story could have ended there for Jean.

But it didn't (lucky for my mum and consequently, myself)- Jean married my Grandfather, who was her fiancee's brother. It wasn't as fast as all that, I am quiet sure she did some real soul searching and I do know she refused to marry him several times. Maybe because she didn't love him? Maybe because she was too heartbroken to think of a life outside of the one planned? Maybe she didn't want him to marry her out of familial obligation alone? I never got a straight answer about that one.

So we won't know what the main reason was, maybe it was as simple as this- she chose adventure. Rather than mope about in England for a love lost she continued on the path she had chosen in the only way readily available to her, and began her journey.

I know my Grandma had 'wanderlust' which I definitely inherited. When she would come to visit, we would spend hours looking at the globe and at atlases planning our big trip around the world. Ah the thought of travel fills my heart! I imagine her excitement as she said goodbye to her family in London- not knowing when she would ever see them again or what the circumstance might be.

I know the excitement and the terror of saying goodbye to family, only to talk to them hours later upon arrival and via Skype on a regular basis. It was years before my Grandmother was able to return to England, the only contact being via the post.

So I wear this ring, everyday to honour my Grandma Jean, and to remind myself that adventure lurks in every circumstance- good and bad alike. And it's sparkly.

Girl vs. Machine

2008-12-14T11:28:00.004-05:00

The machine in question being the Internet, specifically Internet dating.

Way back in the day, I had been a "lurker" on a couple of dating websites. Interested, yet not quite able to wrap my head around the fact that I needed "help" dating. Well fast forward a few years and two failed relationships and that ever sinking premonition of dying fat and alone and being found three weeks later half eaten by alsatians, spurred me on to try it. That and the fact that I have never really dated, I hadn't really been on a proper date ever.

Being new to the big city, and realizing that there are men here, men everywhere in fact. Men that find me attractive- so unlike back home where I had come to expect, snide comments, side glances, and general assholish behaviour. One caveat- I don't think all men from BC are assholes, just most of the ones in Victoria; and there is reason, there are too many women in Victoria, therefore men can act however they want to and still find themselves with women who will put up with them. Generally though, not many people I know have ended up with a Victoria boy, wait for the imports a friend would say to me. Being a Navy city, there are a lot of those. But Navy boys are their own special kind of special- on the whole. There are exceptions and I'm happy that the friends I know who are married have picked those exceptions.

Anyassholey, back to the present day- or so. I think it does take a lot go on an internet dating website, it's pretty much admitting you need help in the dating game, you can't meet people via normal channels. Which for someone who just moved to the city and was working a lot, it was pretty true. I had no time to join clubs and pretend to care about causes in the hopes of throwing myself in the paths of eligible young(ish) men.

And then it hits, the kid in a candy store feeling, there ARE all these men, and they are messaging you, asking you out. And if you don't like the look of that one, or he can't string two sentences together, you just pick another- the supply seems endless. What I hadn't realized yet is that it's like sifting through river rock looking for gold. You have to sift through a hell of a lot to find a bit of gold. And then it usually turns out to be fool's gold.

But still I was in the blissful first blush of dating, making plans, getting dressed up, going places, being bought dinner, coffee, traveling in cars. At that point I was terrifically messed up over a boy, first time that had ever happened to me, usually I let relationships drag on so long that when I finally wake up out of them, I realize I was over that person for a good six months and yet still with them. So to be in this new territory of the walking wounded, well it was uncomfortable and it hurt, so I used dating as a balm on my soul. It didn't work very well, but it kept me busy at the time.

But as the dates progressed I began to notice things, I put up that I was looking for "dating" as I knew I wasn't ready to be in a relationship again and for the most part looking to just meet people and expand my social network. Little did I know that "dating" is code for "casual sex" and here I thought the "casual sex" was actually code for "casual sex". Ahh how little I knew.

Dating websites are classifieds, so you can use different types of lingo like you are trying to sell an apartment. I always put up that I am "BBW", which means Big Beautiful Women, which is a PC term for fat. Which I am, not horrifically, I'm generally well proportioned, but enough that I have to spend extra money on trousers that fit properly. I say this up front to weed out the fattists- I spent enough time with someone who claimed to love me, but would love me all the more if I weighed less to ever be bothered with that kind of fuckwittage again. And I do find people in this city are much less well, assholish about it. It wasn't getting the dates that was the problem. Now the problem was finding quality over quantity.

In words of my dear Grandmothers friend in England I am a "buxom lass" which in North American terms means I have big tits. Most of the time I kind of forget about them, because honestly they are of no use to me, unless I need to get Jesse's Girl played at a wedding. Then I just think of using them for good (hello Rick Springfield!). But to me they aren't useful, when I have kids, then they will have a purpose. Right now they are just these giant back pain inducing items that I have been "blessed" with.

All this leads to the next point- when men see big boobs, their brain shuts down. I think it's chemical, and it is hard to blame them, witless creatures they are. But it makes it REALLY difficult to have a conversation when someone is talking to your left tit. When you do find a nice guy, they really do seem embarrassed by this urge and do make an effort to at least look above your neck part of the time. But there is the other side of the coin, where you could be having a really good chat with someone via emails/msn or what have you. Then you meet in person, notice the buxomness, and treat you like you have the IQ of a stamp. Because in their little world, women with big boobs are in no way able to be smart (would probably make masturbating less fun for them). Therefore I get relegated to a subsection of girl that they could sleep with, but couldn't date, as they would then have to acknowledge that I do in fact posses a personality and am not a blow up doll.

After years of being treated as less than human because of my physical lack (ie not being super model thin) this was quite the change, here I was being judged solely on my figure and being treated like a sex-object. It was really rather mind blowing, never in my whole life had I been treated like my body was a good or pleasant thing- leaving me free to develop the sexiest organ I got- my brain. And now I'm being treated like I do not or should not have a brain cause I'm so dead sexy physically. It was a lot to take in.

Eventually though, I tired of being a sex-object to these people (a sentence or thought I never envisioned before this) and took a break from this haphazard dating.

During my second round, I did become a lot more introspective about the hows and whys of who I was attracting- mostly complete crazies. Which I will discuss in round two of Girl vs. Machine

The Walking Wounded

2008-10-06T22:18:00.002-04:00

Today was a migraine day. It came on suddenly last night, they just appear out of nowhere, and yesterday was a tame day, I didn't consume anything terrible drank plenty of water... but at about 10.30pm last night it hit. I thought if I could just go to sleep it would work itself out during the night.

But when I woke up this morning it was still there, my constant companion. As far as being a migraine sufferer I get off pretty easy these days. I don't tend to vomit, and I can go out in daylight usually. I've also found that over the counter migraine meds can often help me get through the day.

I've only had to go to the hospital once with a migraine, when it became apparent to me and the BF of the day that I was no longer rational. And by that I mean, I was seriously thinking about stabbing my eye with something pointy to somehow alleviate the pain.

But that was quite a while ago, in fact I've been pretty lucky lately. I guess my number was up today. However since the days that I used to suffer fairly regularly with them one is now able to buy over the counter migraine pills, rather than using the Dr. prescribed ones. The imitrex I was prescribed cost $40 per pill so you don't want to use those lightly.

It's funny, because you can try to take a regular headache pill, but the migraine will scoff at it and then totally ignore it.

I took my first pill at 9am this morning, and by the time I had to leave for my work meeting I was feeling a bit more than out of it. These pills are interesting, because they don't stop the pain of the migraine, or dissolve the migraine; rather they separate you from your body in such a way that you can't really feel the pain of the migraine.

So there you are, the walking wounded, fully functioning in your migraine hoping that the pain will dissipate before the drugs wear off. You can tell that your migraine is there, it's like a little dog pulling at the leash for your full attention, but these drugs make you numb- not totally fuzzy, but definitely one step behind.

Is it better to be able to be up and around, or to be cowering under the covers in total darkness. Either way, you feel exhausted at the end of it, in a way it was like part of me was in bed under the covers. Co-workers did comment that I didn't seem myself, and while I often feel that I spend a lot of my time separate from my body for entirely different reasons, today part of me was on the inside of far-out.

The migraine is gone finally, but I am still in the grips of the second pill I had to take, because I'd rather take this wrapped in cotton feeling than the stabbing pain of a migraine. So all in all a bit of a weird day and I thought I'd share it since I'm feeling so delightfully lucid.

Back to the grind, kind of...

2008-09-03T15:34:00.003-04:00

Well I have returned, I don't know if I could say it was a triumphant return- but I did make the plane on time so there IS that.

(me and Nanny at Rathtrevour- my fave place on earth I think!)

My trip out West went really well. I went to quite a few places and feel like I saw a fair amount of people, my apologies to those I didn't see, my time in Victoria was really short and mostly taken up with the wedding and family. Next visit I would think that I have to spend more time in Victoria (shudder!).

I had a great visit up island with my Grandmother and Aunt and Uncle who happened to be coming down the last night I was there.

Managed to get in a fair bit of swimming in the ocean and a lake swim, which was unbelievably delightful. All in all it was a good visit, and I feel no pull to move back there at all. I would like to convince my family to move out here though- go on do it!

I had a really great visit with my brother, Don, we played some cards- I won, naturally... went for a bit of a wander up Mt. Tolmie and Mt. Doug which was just great, stuff that I really enjoyed doing but sort of forgot about.

There were two separate kayaking outtings with each unit. On Elk Lake with my mum and on the Gorge with my dad. Both were really fun times!

The weather was spectacular for pretty much all of the trip, which is handy because that is how I planned it.

A&A's wedding went off without any real hitches, it was beautiful and they were beaming. I'm looking forward to catching up with them once they return and get back to reality!

Oh reality, you harsh mistress. I'm happy to say I have put it off just a little bit, the majority of my first week back, which is also the first week back and only working one job, was spent sleeping. I guess I'm catching up on all the lost sleep. And I do believe I need to break the habit of just getting home and going to bed.

One good thing about being a workaholic is it sort of excuses you from having a life and putting yourself out there, which is very handy at times.

I zipped down to NY/NJ this past long weekend to visit with Val and Rob and meet my darlingest little godson, Sean! He is such a delight, a really happy little giggly baby and so smiley- I am completely in love with him. I had a lot of cuddles and hugs and somehow managed to get away without changing a diaper.... sneaky! So it was great to catch up with Val and Rob and see their new place.

Coming home was a bit of an ordeal, I left on a slightly later bus out of NYC, which enabled me to hang out a bit in Bryant Park and wander around, which I can't go anywhere near the City and not do. It's just such an amazing and wonderful place to be, I am extremely envious of anyone who is able to live there. I did manage to get back to TO with an hour to spare before work on Tuesday, but the bus has left me feeling a bit coldish and I'm still trying to catch up on sleep.

Ok! That was then, this is now. It's a few weeks later... pretty much back in the swing of things- starting to enjoy evenings and weekends off.

So maybe I'll start posting with some sort of regularity? It just might happen!

The other side

2008-07-13T10:33:00.002-04:00

This week something crazy happened, I got over it.

One night I went to sleep and the next morning I woke up and realized I am the one that is causing my own unhappiness in so many situations. It's time to let certain things (and people) go and get on with being my own little pot of gold.

It's actually quite stimulating, I'm getting close to the point where I'm waking up smiling. Imagine! There is, right now, this great lightness of being in me. I'm coming back to old dreams and working on how to fulfill them. It's really rather exciting!

Part of this I think is the light at the end of the tunnel with the second job- 12 more working days to go. And then as a bonus I'm off for two weeks back to the coast.

I have been feeling some trepidation about going back there for a while. It brings back dreams I have had about going back there and then someone stealing my ticket so I can't leave. But I can leave, just like I'm not going back to my job in high school ever again. SO instead of dread, I'm working on excitement. Things I am looking forward to: seeing my peeps- you know who you are!, going to the beach, smelling the ocean, kayaking, Rathtrevour, picnics and happy hour with my Nanny, not working for two weeks, being overdressed, the upcoming wedding, Denman Island, my parents hot tub (which better be working!), lake swimming, night swimming, sailing. Ok- there is much to look forward to!

An update on my little proton and neutron, they are hanging out with each other which makes me so happy. I think they will enhance each others lives immensely.

I'm really looking forward to having more time available for myself. I feel like I am ready now to get out into the world and stop punishing myself or hiding out. I tried the workaholic thing, it's not my cup of tea. I'm ok with that though!

I suppose that is all I have to say for right now, I realized I hadn't posted in quite a while, but times were rough and I didn't feel like being a whingey blogger.
With more time on my hands I hope to upkeep the blog more regularly and perhaps even on topics! imagine!

I have a party I'm hosting today so I should get back to it, I love throwing parties. I was just imagining what kind of party I could throw if I was spending someone else's money.

So from Michelle-Land, things are well, I made it through to the other side and it's nice over here. All rainbows and sunshine and that kind of malarky. (wow I sound medicated... I'm high on life!!!!!)

Off balance

2008-05-15T11:50:00.004-04:00

It's been a while since my last post. I suppose there isn't any real reason except for logistical issues that are making it a bit hard. At the moment I seem to be at a disconnect- I am working quite a bit and don't really have any down time during the week, lately I seem to have been working one weekend day as well so that my one day off a week is often spent in a sort of coma-like state of vegetation interspersed with flurries of trying to get everything done for the coming week (cook food so I can eat real things, laundry so I have underwear to wear, tidy the house so I feel better, clean Nestor so HE feels better). All in all I don't really have much personal time or time for doing anything outside of basic survival- hence the lack of posts.

Recently I have been sliding a bit, my general health upkeep isn't going very well. I'm not eating as well as I should and it leads to both me feeling bad physically as well as emotionally and mentally. I long for the days when I can actually have spare time where I could go for a run or to a gym or for a swim.

I have been looking into visualization techniques in the past month. I feel that I need something to spur me onwards or help me focus on making my life more palatable. The only trouble is you are supposed to enter a state of relaxation for these visualizations and given my current level of exhaustion that just generally means I go to sleep.

Also I've been trying to look at reasons why I'm doing this to myself. I think working over 50 hours a week would be acceptable if you were making pots of money something, alas, I am not doing. In a way I guess this is sort of a punishment for abandoning the schooling I came here for. But what in myself makes me feel like I need to be punished?

It's pretty obvious I need to be doing more towards achieving the lifestyle I would rather have (normal work hours, weekends off, benefits) but where does one start? Should I give up more sleep time? Do this at work?

Procrastination is a big issue- I'm realizing I use certain crutches to distance myself from making decisions: can't start my life until me and the boy are sorted, can't do anything until after the trip out west this summer. Have been working on really changing those habits.

If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere

2008-03-23T15:19:00.006-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I went down to New York to meet up with my friend Nicole. We'd been planning and plotting this trip for a few months and I was very excited to have the day actualized.

I headed off on Wednesday night on the over night bus, I wasn't my usual organized self on the lead up to the trip so I hadn't had much sleep in the previous few days. This boded well for my sleeping on the bus, I passed out pretty much once we left Toronto, and I was in a deep sleep when we had to stop and get off in Buffalo for the border check. Then we stopped in the buffalo station and picked up people and I had to give up one of my three seats (yeah I'm selfish- so what) for a couple of hours. Finally the person left and I was able to stretch out again and get some sleep.

Our final pit stop was at a McDonald's somewhere about an hour out of the city. The sun was shining brightly and it was - warm! At least to what I've had to compare it to- it must have been gosh at least 8 degrees. This made me even more excited to get into the city and get out in the sunshine.

We finally arrived and I made my way to the Pod Hotel. I highly recommend this place to stay if you are going to New York- the rooms are small, but if you are hanging out in your hotel room the whole time and you haven't been struck by the plague (more on that later), well.. you are lame.

I was able to check into our Pod early as I arrived at the hotel at about 11.30ish am. I dropped my things and headed back out into the light- sans a winter jacket. Talk about excitement! I walked down third and about towards Grand Central, which I had not been to before and then found a little deli to buy some lunch. For eating in New York, the deli's are tops. They have these massive hot and cold tables where you can find pretty much everything under the sun and you aren't forced to have a sandwich or fries or anything greasy. I had a mixture of a a few salads and a coffee and took them to Bryant Park to eat. I Actually ended up eating in front of the New York Public Library (aka heaven) and doing some people watching until the sun went behind the building. After that I wandered inside the library and had a look around. I saw a couple of great exhibits- and the Guttenberg Bible, which is amazing. That book was the beginning of the print revolution, for which I will always be greatful as it paved the way for inexpensive and mass produced books. I dont' think I could imagine a world wear I couldn't read anything I wanted, whenever I wanted.

I stopped for a while and did some online reading in the Art History room on one of my favourite artists Vermeer. But the sitting and reading made me realize how exhausted I was. So I made my way back to the hotel and got myself settled in, showered and relaxed. Another reccomendation I can make about the Pod. AMAZING showers. They have the rain showerhead that comes directly from the ceiling and combine it with two side nozzles. Deluxe.

While waiting for sleep to come I did some writing in the Pod and talked to my Nanny. The city is so inspiring, I think it would be hard to not accomplish great things there. I finally fell asleep for a while and was awoken by Nicole arriving!!

It was great to see Nic after hardly seeing her at all for a few years, she seems really happy and was just as giddy as I was to be in the City. We went down to a diner for some food and to catch up before heading back to the Pod for a sleep.

The next morning brought on grey weather, which was slightly disappointing, but we got ourselves all sussed out and headed to the Empire State Building. Shockingly we didn't wait in line at all to get to the top. We literally waited in total for about four minutes. I let Nic know this was completely lucky. I mean to wait an hour is lucky.

Afterwards we had a coffee and warmed up a bit, it was ridiculously cold at the top, and windy. We then walked to Times Square and looked around a bit. There were a couple of sample sales we popped into on the way which was great, picked up a couple of necklaces and pashminas for very cheap.

We had some lunch at a deli and then it started to rain, and did it RAIN. We booked it back to the Pod as quickly as we could walk, but we were still drenched. We rested for a little bit and then went out to MoMa for their free (FREE) evening. MoMa is definitely one of my favourite museums on the planet. I could probably live there.

It was still torrential downpour on the way to and from the museum and we got resoaked, so we went back to the Pod and wrung ourselves out and then went to Dos Caminos for dinner, which is a fancy Mexican restaurant on 52nd and 4th I think. Although the name reminds me of El Camino, which makes me think of losers in high school who thought those were cool. But it was a nice enough place, $12 for a guacamole, but it was tasty. Although the spicy that I got was not spicy enough. I have a high spice tolerance I think. I keep telling the Indian place where I sometimes get takeaway to make it very spicy, but I think they are afraid.

The next day we awoke to still torrential downpour. I know that the wet coast has been completely washed out of me because of the strength of feelings against the rain. Rain is horrible, horrible stuff. It gets in and makes everything damp and unhappy. At least snow is like little fluffy bits of heaven that you can brush off you. At least though, rain meant sightseeing had to take a backseat to shopping. We hopped on the tube and headed down to the World Trade Centre site. It was interesting to see, but more interesting to me (again, I'm shallow) was Century 21- which was right across the street. Designer items at discount prices. Naturally I beelined it for the purse secton. I found some great deals- Cynthia Rawley for only $100 and Matt and Nat for under $40!!

After a couple of hours there we headed over to Canal St to look at cheap knock offs and I guess this is the Chinatown area of the city. It was pretty neat. I bought a few more bags- but some were gifts so I think that it is entirely reasonable that I bought 6 in total. I find that in New York the neighbourhoods are neat, but that Toronto's ethnic areas are bigger and better.

After that shopping excursion we went back to the Pod and I noticed I wasn't feeling all that well- I blame the rain. Completely. So I had a nap and Nic looked up some adventures. I was able to drag myself from bed to head to the East Village for some late night Frittes. In the subway we saw some great breakdancers! I had to make a pit stop in a Duane Reade for some sort of cold medicine. I've been trying to not use anything not natural for illness, however I left all my remedies at home (that will teach me). So I started chugging Dayquill or something like that. We had a bit of a wander around before heading back to the hotel.

That night it became quite apparent I was very ill, I was up most of the night with a fever and chills and had probably three showers to try to warm up. The next morning Nic went off for an exploration of the Park and the Upper West Side, and it was nice and sunny out, but I could not get out of bed. Sucks to get the plague while you are on vacation- again I blame the rain- stupid, stupid rain.

I finally peeled myself out of bed midafternoon and met Nic in Times Square so we could buy rush tickets for a Broadway show that night. We managed to get tixs to Mamma Mia, although they were a bit more expensive than we thought they would be. We got all fancied up to go there, all the while I was chugging liquid betterness trying to feel normal. When we got to the theatre we realized what luck we had. The seats were amazing row Q in the orchestra so we were 16 rows up from the stage. The show was spectacular~ so high energy and all the songs were by ABBA.

I seemed to sleep a bit better that night, and the next morning we had to check out- all good things come to an end so quickly, hard to believe the end was nigh. They were able to let us keep our bags a the Pod while we went out for breakfast at Ess A Bagel, the best bagel I've ever had, although I swear they put a pound of cream cheese on it. Kind of gross. But still. Then we went downtown to Chelsea and walked to Greenwich Village and ended up for lunch in the East Village again.

Manhattan is funny, it's really a very small place, but it feels huge. Particularly coming from somewhere like Canada where most towns are so spread out it's hard to imagine a map actually conveying something small. It was a quick walk from Greenwich Village to the East Village, we walked by the NYU campus. Then it was back to the hotel and Nic was picked up by her Shuttle to JFK. I went and found a snack and waited for my shuttle as well. There are no subways to La Guardia, which is kind of lame, because it's only in Queens. We gave it an hour to get to the airport but it took under twenty minutes.

I checked in and was put on standby to go an earlier flight, which I actually got so that was lucky, because I had just finished the Dayquill stuff before I went through security and I didn't know how much longer I was going to last.

I made it home with minimal drama- although navigating two suitcases kind of sucks. And then I crashed, for about 24 hours. I wasn't even conscious for Tuesday, enough to call my night job and tell them I couldn't work at all.

All in all though, the trip was great. It was wonderful to see Nic and I love the City so much. It would be impossible to have a bad time in New York I think. I can't wait to get back there.

An atom of happiness

2008-02-24T20:52:00.004-05:00

Interesting. Could this be two posts in one day?

I was just talking with my friends B (yes they both have names that start with B) today. One has within the past year gone through a break up and one is going through a strain in her relationship. We have all been friends for a while, B since grade 2 and B since grade 6. I consider them both kindred spirits. But I think they both circle me looking at each other with wariness. If I am the nucleus, they would be the proton and the neutron. And I haven't quite figured out who is which. But it does take me back to a pretty awesome KWRP in Cincinatti episode.

The point being is these are my two closest and oldest friends. I would take a bullet for either of them (in the leg... I mean not anywhere important sheesh) and we are all still unmarried, unchildified in life. And while I am sure they separately don't consider each other in the grand scheme of things; they are in my mind, my other two muskateers.

Sometimes I wonder what it is with the three of us why not one of us has grasped the brass ring? And by that I don't mean THE ring... I mean successful, committed, adult relationships with boys/men. It's not like people of our age group haven't been getting married, but we all seemed to miss out on the starter marriage phenomenon. Is this due to our up bringing? Our geographical location (ie. the water we drank)? although we all lived at three separate locales on the penninsula(and we certainly know enough Sidney girls who got knocked up as quickly as you could say here's your high school diploma), or own personal morals? It is in a sense a nature or nurture question.

A question I can't answer at all, but I do know this. We have spent (and all three of us are guilty of this) an inordinate amount of time justifying our behaviour- and changes in- to each other which have been directly related to the person we were with. This is all so interesting, as we three are the product of three very strong and amazing women. Is this the problem? Have we rejected this strong woman archetype and become co-dependent because of it? I know for myself that I will never live up to the ideal of my mother. She is- in one word-amazing. And I am not really. We often come to blows with my acceptance of my own mediocracy. Are all three of us rebelling against our own mothers by being ridiculous in the face of man?

Interestingly as I was making dinner tonight I realized both proton and neutron want or wanted to pursue careers in the culinary arts. As for me, I just want to be a 1950s housewife complete with in the closeted gay husband and martini and valium addiction. Maybe this is our form of rebellion, our post second wave feminist response to going out and being forced to be career women. We want to be our grandmothers? Or great grandmothers. Really all the three of us want is happiness, as defined by being in a relationship with someone who makes us feel as our mothers felt, or we thought they felt, loved, cherished and adored.

And maybe they didn't feel that way all the time, or even most of the time- we don't really know until it is too late, these impressions are formed in our psyche. And we recognize it's not easy for men either, for all intense purposes they have been replaced. Except for the cuddling, maybe the cuddling is all we really desire? To be held. To feel that love that comes from someones arms around you. There really isn't a feeling like it in the world.

Anyway, I'm babbling. I do know that all three of us would throw off these chains of discontent and do whatever it would take to be with the men we love. Except none of us can play this game that seems to hook men in, I know we all feel dishonest and infantile about it. Yet as years pass by and we talk to friends who swear by rules and regulations (and I'm not saying I haven't tried them before) to "land the man" and the three of us circle each other still single, still searching. I wonder- shouldn't we recognize the happiness we have with each other? With the compelling interactions that draw us back to each other again and again? Maybe we are each others great loves. And honestly, is that so bad?

To proton and neutron:

"Overweight"

Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long? (ha!)

I want to carry a piece of who I was before
So when I hit the wall, I really hit the wall
I want to tear away the death again
A whiter shade of fucking meth again
I want to stick to clues, I want to come unglued
I want to shape the world to fit the way you move
Oh, should I listen for a dress size?

I owned up, I've grown up, do you remember me?
I showed up and so what if I'm the used to be
I'm here to tell you that I'm sorry I was sorry
But I'm happy that you're happy
This is no longer about me

Trade rules, switch sides for your beautiful eyes
Let him be you through your beautiful cries
Let him hold you up so you can touch affordable skies
Live your life just like a dream
Without the pain of goodbyes
Goodbye!

Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long?

I been a drunk disrespectful little street punk
Unlock the back of my trunk
You see, you take this bat
And bash my head into the street again
No-ones around so I keep beating it

Pull my hair back, look me in the eye
There's a self-destructive meaning in the bleeding of a guy
It's the guilt of what reality has given me
Making sense of all mistakes and my stupidity
And when you're sick you seem to think
You've failed eternally

And that the people you let in are only crumbling
When you're sick of thinking life in this recovery
When my decision paved the road
That lies in front of me

So to my friends that even call but I don't call back
I want you deep inside my heart upon a hill
It seems to hide sometimes and run away and wonder
I'm really sick of saying sorry but I will

Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long?

But are we scared to take the ride?
Or dare to look inside?
I'm floating far away (far away)
I'm floating far away (leaving home)
I'm floating far away (so far away)
I'm floating far away

I want to learn to walk with others as an equal
I want to treat the ones who love me with respect
I want to tell the world I'll give them all a piggyback
And try to take away my negative effect
I want to kiss the boy, I know I'll never lie again
I want to call my dad and tell him that I care
I want to let my brother know
He saved my life a thousand times
Throughout the years he's been my friend
Who's always there

Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?

I will carry you both as long and as far as I can. I think we carry each other.

Mid-Winter Mindset

2008-02-15T17:03:00.004-05:00

This past week I've been doing a lot of thinking. I am sure to the horror and dismay of my father who always says I think way too much, make mountains out of molehills, create my own troubles etc... But he also said if I kept it up he'd have to come back her and put some sense into me- so game on I say- I await your visit!

Yesterday was Valentine's day and while I do believe it's a ridiculous hallmark holiday meant to empty your wallet and alienate all singletons into a despair only cured by spending more money. Valentine's Day! It's good for the economy! That said, I couldn't help but feel a little "single" sad on the day. And then of course a little angry that I'm letting a card company influence my feelings.

This time last year I was newly single and pretty excited about the path my life would be taking. This year I can say I'm still excited about my life, but it seems tinged a bit with sadness of unfulfilled dreams and longings.

I never thought growing up I'd be where I am at this age. When I was a "little" girl I wanted to be married and have babies by the time I was 23 so I could still be young and virile by the time they left home. Now it's closing in on ten years past that mark- and I'm just starting out with my life it feels like.

Lately I've been noticing people's wedding rings. I have done this before when I was so obsessed with getting married and starting a family I led myself to believe that I was going to be happy with a person totally wrong for me. Now I know what true all encompassing love (not just from my mum) feels like and I know I cannot settle for anything less than that to start a partnership. But I'm concerned about this feeling of unfulfilment about not being mated up.

Perhaps it has to do with the next stage people around me are going through. I know I've always been more mature for my age, in grade school I had very few friends and was one of those nerds who walked around with the teacher at breaks. I've always felt more at ease with "grown ups" and anxious with my contemporaries. The past few years were all about weddings, weddings and more weddings and now it seems to have switched to reproducing.

I spent a recent weekend in Ottawa with my friends Florie and Rob and their little daughter Serena who as of the current writing of this post (Feb 24th) is now one year and one day old. It was wonderful to see them again, as always and I am in a way envious of what Florie has, she has a wonderful husband who is in all senses her partner and really just a nice upstanding guy. And I wonder if/when I'll be in the same situation, and how will I cope? Is there a point when you just become too selfish to have children? Will I be able to deal with getting up ridiculously early and wearing boring yet practical shoes all the time? I know that I can and that I will be a good mother, given the chance to be one. (although I just don't know about the practical shoes) It is all about adapting.

But at what point do I stop holding out for true love? Or that my true love and I will be together? Will I have to reimmerse myself into the dating pool to finally find someone who I can tolerate and hope that after a few kids the trials of everyday life will numb the fact that he's not the one? And then I look around and see the little gifts he gave me, and know even though he's not here he is always presence and a comfort. And that I can't give up yet, I do not want to settle, ever. Even, I suppose, if it means solitude for a while.

Before moving here I had never been very solitary, not since high school. During university I became a social butterfly disguising my insecurity through socialization. Now I feel comfortable being on my own. Although that is part of the worry, being on your own allows you to mold little oddities and neuroses into beautiful tapestries that decorate your life. And how hard will these be to unravel? Will I be able to let someone else use my weekend coffee mug during the week for tea? (just typing that sentence makes me a bit anxious- this could be serious)

I made a new friend recently and went to his loft where he lives with 7 other people and several cats. I was, at first, intrigued by idea of living in the fashion district with such low rent. However, a quick glance at the kitchen swiftly reminded me of the pitfalls of roommates, unwashed dishes, messiness that will creep into your psyche and lay little eggs of discontent- either in the form of having to pick up after someone you aren't getting sexual pleasure from or an epic power struggle/standoff to see who is the alpha dog, the messy slob or the neurotic clean freak. It was at that time I knew for sure I couldn't deal with roommates again.

Well this post seems to have run the gamut- I am not discontent with my life as it is. Maybe it is the contentment I feel sitting alone in my kitchen that scares me? What I feel is impatience, and I have a feeling this is the life lesson I need to learn in my life. The prophet Muhammed said "Patience is the key to contentment". And when I feel impatient I know I am not living in the present moment, so I try to slow down, take deep breathes to refocus and come back to what I know. Someone out there loves me with all his heart, I'm close to loving myself with all my heart, I have amazing friends and family who also love me. And when I think about all this love I feel lighter in spirit. Maybe it's the sunshine today and how it glints off the snow, and makes kalidescopes of the icicles hanging from rooftops. Maybe this is how everyone feels mid-winter?

I leave for New York in ten days! Let the planning commence!

2007 The Facts and Figures ReCap

2008-01-01T21:49:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year Everybaady!

Here's a recount of the stats,ups, downs and sideways:

Moves across the Country: 1
Very own apartments occupied: 1 (a first!)
School courses begun:1
School courses finished: 0 (oh well win some lose some)
States visited: 3 (new york, new jersey, pennsylvania)
Trips to New York City:2
Amount of my twenties left to complete: 0 (HA I WIN!!)
Friends and family that have visited: 11
Bottles of wine consumed: hmmm numerous
Times gone swimming: 0 (I wish I wasn't so scared of the lake)
Tans achieved: 1 (alllright)
Boyfriends this year: 2
Shoes bought: 7 pairs? (that can't be right, the number seems too low)
Purses bought: 6 (moderate)
Times it has snowed: over ten times- it rules
First class flights: 1 (from Montreal to TO, man it was awesome- so that's how the other half lives)
Times living space was reorganized: 5 and I think we have a winner folks
Valentine's Cards: 1 (thanks mum!)
Books read: gosh i don't even keep track but I'd say at least 100.
Paintings painted: .5 :-( i need to work on that

OK I can't think of anything more I should recap. I'm sure I could recap everything but then you wouldn't read my blog. And if I lost my admiring public what WOULD I do?

As I write this it is the one year anniversary of my move to Toronto. It's been an interesting year- they say everything gets better after 30, well let's hope so as my twenties were a bit shite. It has been a year of new beginnings a few endings and a lot of learning. I feel happy and somewhat content with life. More content than I have been in a while. It's great to wake up in the morning and look out your window and think "wow I'm home".

Great things are afoot for 2008, there is a feeling in the air and I for one am darn excited about it. Thanks to everyone in my life, you are the ones who make me smile on a daily basis, who teach me things about yourselves and myself and although I'm not around most of you I carry you all in my heart (or in that very large purse I have...).

Many hugs and smooches from "the centre"

Michelle

Decemberlicious- Unexpurgated

2007-12-13T13:53:00.001-05:00

I'm really not all that sure that anything exciting happened in the month of December either. I think I spent one weekend in bed getting upset with myself for sleeping through my one day off and then spending the rest of the time lolling about in a sort of pathetic misery.

Good to get that out of the way at the beginning of the month I suppose. I did have a great weekend where I did many things, it was freezing cold out. Well even BELOW freezing cold! I made my way out to little India to buy some presents and poke around and have lunch. I love taking the streetcar out there because there is just so much more exciting things to see than the subway. I'm sure I've said this about ten million times before. But in life- there are passengers and there are drivers- well I'm a passenger... in the Iggy Pop sense of the word. Seriously though I don't really like driving, I get distracted and enraged and why should I bother? I like to be able to stare out at things as I pass them imagine them in a different setting, different light, different universe. That's just how I roll. Good for my scenic life, not so great if I'm behind a wheel.

The day after the outting to Inja (as I would say if I was terribly posh and british) it snowed! Lots of snow over night which made me very very happy. I met up that next day with Alex and Andrea for brunch although much of the time was spent waiting for the bus to come. Stupid #63 bus. For some reason they completely cut back on service and didn't bother to tell anyone. Now I understand that there is financial trouble, but heck take away the bus service in the boonies. Those people don't want to see anyone anyway- if they did they would - live- in - the- city. Yes and with that I am officially a city slicker, and I'm pretty happy to be that way. (this would be the unexpurgated part of the blog)

I came across that word (unexpurgated) last night while chatting with my friend Pili. We were talking about fairy tales and that sort of thing and I mentioned I have a Grimm's Fairy Tale book, given to me by my Briana, and in the front it states it is the original fairy tales, not the mother goose versions. Hence the "unexpurgated" meaning nothing has been taken out to make them more palatable.

I cannot remember the tale but my favourite one of all time ends in "open the window and let the lies out". In a sense telling us to all unexpurgate ourselves. We put up so many barriers for people and are made to feel that what we do in life is wrong that the face we present to the public edited it's no wonder we're all wandering around feeling isolated.

In general I try to live very openly with who I am and what I am feeling, sometimes I overshare and sometimes what I do and how I live my life doesn't sit well with other people but I came to a realization after the end of a friendship in which I was editing myself, trying to act so I wouldn't be offensive to their sensibilities, that this is not the way we need to act. We should try to be sensitive to other's but I think we could all do with a bit more honesty in our lives and stand up for our wants and needs.

I lost my bus pass this week which is crappy, but it's forcing me to walk more and that is a plus. I walked to work this morning, it's such a short walk I don't know why I have been so lazy about it lately. I suppose because I can be.

As I am finishing up this post it is snowing out. Could be the worst storm in forty years as one person described it. Had brunch plans with H this morning but we both realized that's just not going to happen. It's lovely and quiet outside and I am up early again hurrah! I have no real need to leave the house but I think I'll have to go for a walk in this kind of weather.

It is nice to be able to listen to "I am a Rock" and it really is a deep and dark december and the ground IS snow covered.

Don't be scared if these posts take a more philosphical turn in the new year. It is something I have been wanting to do for a while and if blogging is an interesting medium, in that it is an online diary- so I am going to endeavor to talk about what interests me and my thoughts rather than all description about my life.

So you are forewarned of the self indulgent turn this could take. I'm sure it won't be all moroseness and philosophy... I have a tendency towards goofiness and a deep appreciation of the ridiculous that will not settle down.

And that's all for now. At the rate I'm posting this could be the last post of the year worth any merit. However I will try to do an end of the year recap.

and now back to the snow
m

Spookaween and November

2007-12-06T10:21:00.000-05:00

Ok so I have to write some backlog posts as my mum is getting cranky with me.... the HORROR! And we can't have a cranky mum AND since I can't placate her with freshly brewed coffee I have to write these up.

The rest of October was fairly uneventful. Brandy left and I was back to work at both jobs. Working days and nights doesn't really leave much time for anything else really. So that is what I did.

I covet my weekends though and one weekend day I walked from my house to Union Station along the waterfront. It was a super fall day- crisp out but still sunny for the most part. It took just over two hours maybe? And it was a great walk, the only crappy part was one section along the highway for a bit, but for the most part you can walk along the water in relative peace. I discovered some new bits of the city I had yet to see including a music garden.

The music garden was inspired by a symphony but some composer whose name I forget right now and I guess you can rent headphones and listen to it as you walk through each part. Pretty nifty idea if you ask me.

One weekend Florie and her family came into town. Florie and I met up and spent the day together wandering around downtown and hanging out. We went to the fashion district and spent an inordinate amount of time in a fabric store. Right now my sewing machine is on the fritz so I'm a bit frustrated that I can't do what I would like to be doing with regards to my sewing projects. And frustrated with myself because I haven't learned how to use my serger yet. Lazy lazy!

We poked around Kensington market and looked at the used shops which was great because Florie is so amazingly talented in the area of design and a great sounding board for any ideas.

After our day we met up with the family at her sister-in-laws and had delicious falafel for dinner and played Wii. Wii is pretty fun I must say. I'm not going to rush out and buy one but still I wouldn't be adverse to playing it if it was around. AND unbeknownst to me- I am a wii bowling whiz. TOTAL WHIZ!!! And I got my Serena fill in for the next little while. The little pooky is now sitting up on her own and pulling herself up and getting pretty close to walking. So adorable and lovely!

But other than that not very much really happened during the month. I'm not working five nights a week any more which is great, I now have Wed. night off to sort of pause and take stock (and by that I mean do my laundry and try to clean my apartment) and make a nice meal for myself and I was going to start watching America's Next Top Model, but just couldn't be bothered. Drunk skinny girls wander around cycle 7 is it? Meh.

It did snow once towards the end of the month and that made me exceedingly happy. EXCEEDLINGLY- got it?

And really that's November. Next up December!

BrandyShaw turns 30 part deux

2007-12-04T09:48:00.001-05:00

And the adventure continues!

My intent while Brandy was here was to show her as much of the neat parts of the city as possible, and of course Much Music.... it is very funny but everyone from my childhood that has come to visit wants to see MuchMusic. I suppose because it was so influential on our lives, we of the "before you tube" generation. And I will admit to being pretty damn excited the first time I walked by it even after ten years of not really watching it I can still remember the address of where we could send our requests to.

Tangent aside, we covered a lot of ground during B's visit. We spent a day in Kensington market wandering about and getting lost and finding some really cool shops. Had to buy some injera to make our ethiopian feast one night and of course buy some crazy mexican delicious candies. I don't know what is in them but I suspect it is what flows in the rivers in heaven, it's that good. We spent part of a day in the Bathurst village where we checked out Honest Ed's and a mexican resty for wings, following that we walked down Roncesvalle village to peep into the edgy shops there. And Manic Coffee was a particular request of Brandy's, she knows the owner- having worked with him in Vancouver, he moved out here to set up shop and makes very delicious coffee. We had espresso shots. I'm not quite used to that anymore so it was like crack to me and I felt crazy for about an hour afterwards. Brandy gifted me with some Intelligensia which is direct trade coffee and delicious tasting.

We sort of checked out Chinatown, but being from Vancouver it's really not something new or exciting and frankly I think I enjoy the Victoria chinatown much more with it's FanTan Alley and bubble tea shop.

Saturday we hooked B up with a killer KILLER haircut and just sort of wandered around Bloor West Village OH and shoes! The cutest black flats that I have major envy of and picked up items for our ethiopian feast! Mmmmm feasts.

Our plan for that night was to head out to meet up with my friend Andrea and head out to the Drake Hotel for some drinks and maybe some dancing afterwards. Well we hit two out of three as we didn't really go dancing afterwards (sorry B!) but I think we had a great time hanging out at the Drake. We dressed up in our fanciest jeans and new things and managed to snag a perfect spot near the bar. The people watching was great, the drinks were delicious, albeit expensive and the boys were mostly cute. We managed to catch the subway home which is a bonus because riding the 300 night bus really isn't a Toronto experience Brandy needed.

The next day I woke up to my chagrin feeling coldy, I suspect my air mattress, and we just had a mellow day wandering around High Park and area taking photos. That night Brandy made pretty much the most awesome cornbread I have ever tastes and I made a pizza and it was just sort of a chill out evening of hanging out and reading. Brandy and I read a lot together. I think it's great to hang out with someone who understands the need to read as much as I do.

The next morning I was feeling much better for a long sleep and TA DAAAAAAAAAAAA Brandy Shaw is THIRTY!!! The weather was a bit mucky but after snacks we trucked off to East Toronto for some breakfast and to check out Little India and the East End. I showed her my favourite pashmina shop and we wandered down to Queen St East to take the streetcar back. I love taking the 501 streetcar as you get to see so much more of the city than you do riding the subway.

We got off downtown and had a peek at Nathan Phillips Square which was still water, looked around Eatons Centre and Dundas square and then headed home.

That night was quiet as B was packing up and preparing for departure. I know she was getting a bit homesick for her own apartment, and it took every inch of my being not to fling my arms around her legs and weigh her down so she had to stay forever. I do hope she had a good time and learned a bit about Toronto, I think it's a lot different than what people conceive it to be.

For myself I think it's a great city, very multicultural, safe and clean. Often I feel that I have to defend why I moved here, particularly to West Coasters (and yes I mean YOU dad) but the city offers so much more to me than I could find out there. Part culture, part proximity to so many other big cities, mostly just awesomeness.

And with that the next morning Brandy and I headed out to the airport where I dropped her off and headed to work. I was very sad to see her go, but she will be back! And I felt so lucky that she chose to spend a milestone in her life with me. Brandy and I have been friends since we were 6 and I sat behind her in Grade 2. And the past 24 years have been wicked so here's to the next 24!

Happy Thirtieth! Move to Toronto!!! Don't steal the tomatoes!

Loves
Michelle

Happy 30th BrandyShaws!

2007-10-28T01:18:00.000-04:00

Ok- I've been terribly lax on my blogging and nothing shows it more than the first sentence... but I'm feeling mostly normal and not like a big ball of sleepy so I can continue on.

Aprox 17 days ago my best friend Brandy Shaw arrived at 2.39pm on a wednesday afternoon. Needless to say I was pretty giddy to see her. It had been just under a year since we last got to spend some time together and quite a while before that where we got to spend with just us and no other hanger-ons, boyfriends, etc.

I had a mild panic at the last second on the the ride out to Pearson that I had got the time wrong and she wasn't arriving that day or had arrived and was wandering terminal three aimlessly or that I would be sitting there for several hours. But after only say half an hour of waiting there she was! A vision! The west coast and my oldest friend here in Toronto!!

We made it back to my place without incident and spent a quiet evening in, ordered Indian from a very good place nearby that delivers (this is key...) and just generally got caught up. Although we pretty much talk everyday so we are on the up and up with each other but it's so nice to do it in person and be able to reach over and poke the person.

Brandy looks great, she is one of those people who radiates a sort of ethereal glow at all times. I know the has been experiencing the end of twenties quasi-meltdown we all go through but she has done it in a very calm and accepting way. *Well to my and the eyes of the world- she could be a mess underneath but it doesn't show. I felt giddy and calmed just being around her. It is so great to be with someone who gets pretty much every single obscure reference and silly joke you have ever thought of and then continues on with it and makes more.

We awoke the next morning (yes morning.... something I don't do generally if I don't have to- but special circumstances mean special waking up times.. that and I don't think I'd be allowed to sleep all day). And after a quick breakfast headed downtown for some shopping! It was a beautiful day here that day. The sky was so blue and it was WARM. Warmer than either of us had anticipated, we are both fall gals and love to pull on a nice cozy sweater, wrap ourselves in a big fluffy scarf (with matching hot bag of course) and set off. So while the sun "looked" nice, the heat wasn't super complimentary to our outfits....

We made our way to St. George and walked past the ROM and down Bloor a ways. Brandy is very talented and interested in the culinary arts, specifically baking, so I thought it my duty to introduce her to Williams Sonoma, THE fancy cookware shop. It was like my mum in a craft store or Florie in a fabric shop or me in a bookstore.. we sort of got lost in there for a while.
Then we hit Yorkville Winners, where I think we both could have happily spent all of our budget in a matter of half an hour. Showing a small modicum of restraint we both only made a couple of purchases and moved on.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful shopping wise, B wanted to have a look at H&M and the first store we went into was very hipster I'm 17 looking- not quite our style, but we hit the Eaton Centre H&M and it had some nicer grown up clothes that we tried on. Although this "new" style of the sort of 60s mod parachute dresses/shirts really don't work all that well on those who are advanced in the chesticular areas so we didn't purchase and moved on.

Most of our evenings were spent at home making a nice dinner and then just hanging out watching a movie or talking. That for me was the most wonderful part of her visit. It is not often I have a friend over in the evenings (and in typing that I can't even think of a time at all) where we just relax and do nothing.

The Adventures will continue in part 2....
We had many adventures out and about in the city and I think we covered a fair bit of ground. We made it to Kensington market, which I always love and I know Brandy did too, it's a funky part of town

Nuit Blanche and Autumnal Awesomeness

2007-10-07T15:10:00.000-04:00

I haven't be upkeeping my blog as much as I ought to I suppose- I know this because my one faithful reader tells me so (hi mum!). Sooo here goes: there isn't too much to tell you really. I have been working a lot lately. I know it's good for me and all that malarky, but there is something in my genetic make up that balks at long hours of work. A friends mother once said to me "some people were born to work, but you have the body for leisure" and I tend to agree. However since leisure and pleasure all seem to be interdependent on an honest days work (damn protestant work ethic) I like to think of it as getting all that working in now so soon I can become a lady of leisure- my true calling in life.

So that pretty much sums up my working week, wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home, get undressed and go to sleep. Rinse and repeat. It is making me a bit grumpy and tired, but I think once I get used to it it will be ok. And on the upside of anger- I can't really spend any money!

Generally the weeks mean Saturday is a write off which saddens me a little as Saturday's are my most favourite day of the week. A day of complete and utter freedom the mania of Friday nights has settled down and the pervasive melancholy of a Sunday evening hasn't hit yet. It's all you and the world is your oyster. (although I'm not much of one for oysters and if the world was an oyster I would really not be that enthused or impressed but, irregardless- ya ya I KNOW it's not irregardless...) Yesterday's Saturday was spent in a quasi vegetative state I read some, FINALLY FINALLY taught myself how to cast on so I can start knitting some squares- those and scarves are my forte. I watched a few movies and tidied my house up. Things tend to get out of hand during the week. Another reason I am grateful for living on my own. If I had roommates they would be pissed off at my slovenly behaviour. But it's just me! And I can certainly be pissed off at myself but it's so much easier to justify and accept.

Last weekend was quite quite fun! And most likely the reason for my tired and grumpy behaviour this week. Apologies all round to those who have borne the brunt of it. Except for you who deserved it... you know who you are.

I progress on my digression... So last weekend was Nuit Blanche, which is en français for "white night" or "all nighter", this being an annual festival of contemporary art which is really quite neat. It is city wide from 7pm to 7am and generally very fabulous. I loved it, this is the reason why I love big cities, culture! Nevermind we didn't come up with the idea but "borrowed" it from Paris- who cares. What is contemporary art if not the borrowing and regeneration of ideas to sell as your own? That actually reminds me of a wonderful quote I read in high school "Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal" ~T.S. Eliot.

A few friends of mine gathered at my place for some snacks and wine and coffee, we then headed out to our first stop Bay/Yorkville in Zone A. There are three zones in this event and I would just love to meet some people who managed to make it to all the big events in all the zones. There is so much, it was overwhelming a little bit. We were all keen to check out the one exhibit called Ghosts created by a woman from Cortez Island actually, located beneath the Bay subway- but the line was way too long. From my father I have inherited several things top among them are my dislike of waiting in long lines, getting very uptight about the thought of being late, and an obsession with clean carpets.

We stopped in a couple of galleries along the way and looked at some out door installations. On a night like Nuit Blanche it is so wonderful to see the city wrapped in art. You begin to look at everything in a different way, could this be an art installation? Is this art? It's sort of how I like to look at the world on an everyday basis. I believe everything is art and therefore wonderful. And I think on nights like NB, a person who doesn't look at life as art starts to open up to that possibility.

What I love most about contemporary art is the discourse of the artist. Particularly installation art- it is about the artists conception of reality in that fleeting moment. It isn't about their mastery of colour or their years of learning, it is about inviting you into their private thoughts.

On top of all the art there are the people, it was so wild to see thousands of people roaming the streets until the wee hours of the morning. And even better to be part of it. Some people were dressed up beyond measure for the evening. Mostly in Yorkville, where you can note that even the litter is pretentious (starbucks cups lined any surface). Our crew was a little smarter than that all wearing sensible shoes and warm clothing although there wasn't much of a need for the warm clothing. The weather was very mild and only started to get a little chilly as we made our way back to Bloor St to catch the night bus home.

My friend Bhavna stayed over and we made it home by about 6am, we were a bit too giddy to sleep so ended up chatting until it was very light out.

(Picture of ET/Yoda installation, I think my favourite)

So that was that weekend, the Sunday I met up with a friend and walked around until I made it home and lapsed into a tiredness coma.

The weather is changing here now that is is really fall, although it hasn't cooled yet. This week was really warm and I'm enjoying the last vestiges of summer, although I have unpacked my winter wear and would really like to start wearing my sweaters!!

In other LARGER news, my friend BrandyShaw is coming to visit in just THREE SLEEPS. I am soooo soooo beyond giddy! She is coming to Tdot for her thirtieth birthday and we are going to have so much fun exploring the city and hanging out and such. I've got plans and they are big and exciting!

There you have it, a blog update. As requested by mother.... who will always be my adoring fan and I hers. If I suck up enough they might even bring me back pressies from Mexico, I like silver! Just kidding... the best present I could get is if they came back here to visit. Especially my dad. I really miss my dad. But getting him on a plane to head somewhere that isn't tropical is going to be damn hard. Hurry up global warming already...

Ok so it's almost 4 and I haven't left the house or my pjs. And the really big question is do I?

TTFN.

It seems to be falling

2007-09-04T12:44:00.000-04:00

Well here it is September and I can tell by the change in light in the evenings that fall is just around the corner. I'm quite keen to experience a fall out here, I've heard how beautiful it can be. Plus just the fact that there are real season's is so novel to me, I'm quite giddy.

It's been a month since the last post and some has happened. August seemed to go by quite quickly. I've been posted to a new shift at work which is both good and bad. It's monday to friday so I can continue to be a weekend warrior, which makes me happy. Although I am now working afternoon evenings which is taking some time to get used to. I'm a morning person and I find myself up too late most nights as I just can't get home at midnight and go straight to sleep. This does make communication with my west coast friends a little easier, and I seem to also be able to chat with my friends in Australia during their work day which is great! I find myself sleeping in too much and then sitting about the house in my pjs attached to the computer waiting to go to work.

On days where I'm actually up at a reasonable hour it is lovely to have the morning spent in solitude and contemplation. I love taking my first cup of coffee and sitting in my back yard, alternating between reading my book, staring up at the sky and trees, and watching the local squirrels and birds run around.

I'm also getting out and exploring my neighbourhood more, walking here and there- taking some interesting photos.

Earlier in the month I went out for breakfast with my friend J, we went to the Montreal Deli- or something similar- on Bathurst where I was able to have a Benny! Finally, it has been MONTHS, far too long really. I only received mild looks when I asked for no eggs and it was served with large slices of montreal smoked meat and a side of fruit and some tasty hash browns. It was a warm day so we sat on the patio. I miss breakfast out. Heading down and grabbing some ultra cheapies at Bond's on Broadway. Goood times when in Van, and I have yet to find a Benny that will surpass the chicken sausage with asparagus at John's Place in Vic.

Later in the month the Women's International America's cricket tournament was on so I made the journey up to see former teammates and friends play a game. And what a journey... it was up in King City which is quite north of the city. In the 12 000 block of Yonge St and no that is not a typo. A friend of mine from school and I once drove to Nobleton which is about 40 minutes north of North Etobicoke where the school is. We thought that was hell and gone, but King City is even farther north!

Once I got there, the weather was uncooperative, windy, gray and rainy. But the cricket was great. Everyone looked wonderful out on the field and they have come such a long way as a team and in their abilities. That was the only game I was able to watch, but I did find out Canada won the GOLD this year!

The day after that I headed out to Ottawa to spend a week with my good friend Florie and her daughter Serena. Rob was away in Quebec City for the week so I headed out to lend a hand, see their home and relax.

Although the weather wasn't so hot (ok it was hot and humid) but not sunny and poolly as I had hoped, we had a wonderful time. Florie is an amazing person and she is raising such a beautiful happy little girl. Serena is teething so at times she was a bit grumpy but on the whole so much fun and so smiley and laughs a lot. I was happy I was able to make her laugh a few times. Once she fell asleep on my shoulder, for anyone with insomnia you should try this, once she fell asleep I felt like I had swallowed about 4 bottles of nyquil, it was nap time all round in that house.

Babies radiate such a wonderful energy and it must be so fascinating to be a parent and see the changes that happen. The last time I saw Serena was at the end of May and she seems much more aware of her environment now, looking about with her large blue eyes taking it all in.

It was a wonderful week's visit and just what I needed to recharge my batteries and head back into the city with a spring in my step. Although sad to leave Florie, Serena, and a bed on the "second" floor!, I was happy to be heading back into the city. I'm definitely not a suburbs kind of person. I love the city, the smells, the sights, the anonymity. Just seeing the sign saying welcome to toronto population 2.5 million made me pretty excited.

So that was August! I hope the good weather continues for a while longer! I'm not quite ready to say goodbye to summer.

Highlights this month are the TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival), I'm hoping to catch a few films in the mornings if I can get out of bed! Plus only a mere month until BrandyShaw comes to visit. I am beyond giddy, about three light years beyond and we are going to have so much fun!

People are strange

2007-08-13T14:09:00.000-04:00

When your a stranger. It's been a bit of an odd week (ha and it's only Monday!) well last week was quite busy, I met several new people last week. I hope to spend more time with them and do some fun summery things.

Recently I went to the bluffs out in Scarborough, they were really pretty and it was a bit like being at Mount Doug Beach with the cliffs and there was a marina where we watched boats. Terribly nice just to be out and about really. I had wanted to go to the bluffs since I had bought my Lonely Planet way back in November. I guess Scarborough has a shady reputation, but I'm flying blind so it seemed like a nice enough place to me. Although I'm not quite sure why one wouldn't just want to live in Toronto proper, but then I guess everyone can't.... ponderous.

I don't have a snappy title for this post

2007-08-03T12:37:00.000-04:00

Nor do I have particularly snappy content, so bear with me. It is, it would seem, the dogs days of summer. It's pretty ridiculously hot, more so now that I am moonlighting (can I be moonlighting if this is my full time job?) in a restaurant wearing of course heavy jeans and such. I drink a lot of water.

It looks that I will be working at 3 until close, in this respect it is good that I have a minimal social life as these hours do not lend themselves well to "normal" social outings. I should be getting two days off in a row though, major bonus in the service industry. Second only to the manna of all shifts- monday to friday days!

Today is Yellow

2007-07-29T22:38:00.000-04:00

It's also August first. I quite like the first of months. I try to remember to say white rabbits before saying anything else in the morning or before talking to anyone. But given my lifestyle that's pretty easy at the moment.

Life has been pretty super lately. I have had two friends recommend to me that I watch/read "The Secret" all about the laws of attraction. Well after finding out the book has about 1200 holds on it at the library I decided on the movie option. I ended up watching it although it had no sound and was subtitled. It's quite uplifting and great in general. I have heard of lots of the theories before, however it's good to have a refresher.

On that note, I've been in a great mood lately. I have also decided that I'm going to pick a different colour everyday and notice it as much as possible. Today, as the title implies was yellow- which is one of my more favourite colours to begin with. It makes me happy just thinking about the colour yellow.

I recently rearranged my room and I think this new set up is going to work much better for me. Yessss much bettah! I can now see out the window from my: desk, chair and bed. In the mornings actually it's quite lovely because I can see the sun on the tree leaves and the added bonus of feeling the breeze from the window.

It's darn hot right now, hotter than a snakes ass in a wagon rut. And if it's hot for me down in my basement it is HAWT.

I also purchased a plant tonight! His name is Albert and he's a peace lily. Yes, I name AND talk to my plants- (one small step to crazy cat woman, I know). I have a peace lily that is staying with my parents right now, that one is about ten years old. I have a cactus at my parents that I have had since high school(which is terrifyingly over ten years). I really miss my plants actually. I think I must be putting down roots (ha- figuratively if not literally) by buying some plants here in Toronto. Living in a plant free existence is just not me.

Really I have nothing for you, my admiring public (hi mum!). I'm just warm and bored and don't quite want to go to sleep.

And reality sets in

2007-07-19T13:15:00.001-04:00

Which is really on the whole quite tragic. But after my big trip to New York I suppose it was an eventuality that I would have to come back to land again. And it was off and running. I got back and had plenty of schoolwork to keep me very occupied. I also realized that my life as a gad about student was coming to an end and it was time to *gasp* get a job.

So in the month and a bit I've been back, I've actually been quite busy. I'm working a couple of jobs now and also trying hard to finish up school like a good girl. I also realized that for the past few months I haven't been concentrating myself on Toronto, thoughts and feelings have been elsewhere.

Well it is here that I am so, here I will be. I actually really like Toronto, I find it pretty and friendly and there is so much to do. There is no waking up in the middle of the night all panicky- points for Toronto!

My friend Andrea and her boyfriend Alex had me over for dinner one Saturday night after my return. It was a lovely, fun evening! Alex made the most delicious crepes I have ever eaten- both savoury and sweet! They are just off to France for a couple of weeks! I'm envious!!

The other night I did something wonderfully big city, I went grocery shopping after midnight. It was so much fun and much less busy- although still quite a few people in there! I had also had a really nice chat with my bus driver the night I came home from Andrea and Alex's and who do I get on my trip home from the store but the same one. I thought he looked super familiar but it wasn't until he made a comment about BC that I realized he was the same driver. See, nice city.

Really other than that not much is going on although it is busy. I'm looking forward to August here, I am hoping to make it out to Ottawa and play with Florie and Serena for a couple of days while Rob is away. I need to get back out there taking some photos, but lately life has just been going to school then to work then to school and then to bed!

Ok so now your caught up! I'll sit on the bus trying to think fancy things to write here for next time.

I like New York in June... how about you

2007-07-19T12:40:00.000-04:00

Yes I know "some" people prefer Paris in the Springtime, but honestly New York is where it's at. I arrived after some delays getting of the ground in Toronto, always the worst when you just want to be GONE! I then made my way to Queens for the evening and had a lovely time.

Thursday morning, the last day of my twenties! I woke up early and had a leisurely morning with coffee and croissanty type food before heading back into Manhattan. I was fortunate when I arrived at our hotel to be allowed to check in although it was only 11.30am. So I was able to relax a little bit, but of course I'm a block from Times Square- who can relax?!!! I took myself off for a walk down 5th ave and a bit of a wander through the park. On my way back up I ducked into MoMa (the Museum of Modern Art) oh my gosh! I am in LOVE. The art there was amazing. Finally I had to concede to my bodies request for rest, I didn't sleep well the night before. So I made my way back to the hotel, found some food and had another luxury- a bath. Then I ended up watching American television and waiting for everyone to arrive. Of course, I got antsy and went out for a wander around Times Square at dusk. NEAT.

Everyone arrived in due course and we stayed up late catching up. The next morning we hit the streets and up the Empire State Building first thing. Now I'm generally not one for tall buildings, I wasn't impressed by going up the Eiffel Tower, I feel the CN building is pointless, but this was amazing. AND an excellent way to situate ourselves in the city. After that we walked down to the river and took a boat tour around half of Manhattan. The day was pretty hot so we were glad to get on the water and the views were amazing.

It was a race back to the hotel to get ready for dinner, first it was drinks at the Bubble Lounge in SoHo, champagne mmmmmmm. Then we were able to walk to dinner with only getting slightly lost. Dinner was at this funky Moroccan restaurant Cafe Noir, food and drink was plentiful. I was proposed to by some random fellow, obviously a complete scam artist, but hey it was nice to receive a proposal from someone who seemed to possess all of his own teeth and wasn't in line to start receiving his pension within the next year.

After that we taxi'd to Greenwich Village for a "bucket of beers" and a bit of a wander. Finally I had to plea tiredness and it turned out it was about 2am anyway!

Saturday was fun, we went to Central Park for a nice lunch (since we woke up a bit late) that we had grabbed at one of the awesome deli's and then walked up to the Guggenheim. I was so excited, Frank Lloyd Wright is a favourite architect of mine, however due to some structural problems (which I now hear are endemic in his buildings) the whole front of the Guggenheim was covered in scaffolding. Slightly disappointing. The interior was still really wonderful, although they were setting up a new installation in many of the galleries so they were cordoned off. The building is so tactile, there are hardly any square edges you just want to reach out and touch everything.

After that we headed to McSorley's which is a pub a la Big Bad Johns, but no bras, sawdust instead of peanuts and only two drinks. Light or dark beer which are served in two mini mugs. Deceiving. The fun part is they seat you with random people so we met some very nice individuals at our table. One suggested some betting on horse races and I surprised myself by deciding to do it. (I don't bet, because I don't win...) But! I got horse number 7, Rags to Riches, and I WON!!! I was shocked to say the very least!

Still I'm pretty sure it's a one off, so I don't think I'm hooked. Although it was pretty fun, I'd go to the horse races, but only if it meant I could wear a fancy hat.

Sunday was a bit of a day, the city that never sleeps was defeating us, we were tired and there was still so much to do!

After breakfast and check out we were going to walk down fifth to the Metropolitan Museum of Art- well. We get there and guess what! It's National Peurto Rico Day, there are a million people on fifth ave and we aren't going anywhere fast. Generally I hate parades, I just do not see the point, I hate standing around at the best of times.

We decided to head down into the park and then cross at 89th where the museum is located, well we get into the park and promptly get slightly lost... we make our way out only to find we've managed to go backwards a little bit. MAYHEM!

Anyway, we make it to the museum finally! Meet up with everyone, finally!

All in all it was a great trip and a thirtieth birthday I won't forget! Big Thanks to those who came to celebrate with me! - Chelsea, Laura, Robert and Valerie. And thank you to all those who couldn't make it but sent along your wishes. And of course thanks to my mum and dad for providing the genetic blueprint and for putting up with their wayward daughter as she fumbles through life. I'll get there, promise!
A sculpture by Brancusi. It is one of my favourites I was delighted to see it in MoMa

Me and Me Mum

2007-07-03T18:54:00.000-04:00

Mid May my mother came to visit! It was very exciting as I've had a lot of visitors since I've moved out here but no family yet.

Fortunately the flight was on time although the luggage took forever, and so irritating that you can't go and wait with the people. We got home about 9 or 10 and got some hamburgers from the local grillways!

The next day we had an exciting spa day and pampering, it was really fun to get hands and feet all prettied up. Then we went home and had a relaxing night and watched a movie. It was also my parent's anniversary that day which is pretty neat, they've been married for over thirty years now that's a long time.

On the Saturday we went and checked out Kensington Market and walked all around there looking into the shops and checking out the cheese! I took mum out for Vietnamese for her first time, it was delicious!

Sadly I started to feel like I was getting a cold that day so we didn't do hardly anything at night and the next day I was definitely getting worse, but we managed a trip down to little India and bought a nice pashmina. Mine is blue! We also went to Greektown for some tasty food and then back to bed for me.

Mum went to Belleville the next day and I went back to bed. She came back for a night before she was to catch her flight back. We went to Dr. Generousity for a tapas style dinner.

I had so much fun when she was here I wish that I could have shown her more stuff, I've been checking things out more and more and there are so many neat places that I would love to take her. I guess that's all for next time.

It's Been A While

2007-06-20T23:36:00.000-04:00

Well it's certainly been a while since my last post. Well over a month! Sorry my adoring public (read: mum & dad). But it's also been a busy month!

(this is the last picture of me in my twenties- finally it is done)

So let's see what has indeed happened since May. Well gosh, who can remember now?

Well:
My mum visted
I turned thirty in New York City
Back to school and reality

I'll cover all these in individual posts since this way I can procrastinate even longer.

Home again Home again

2007-05-10T18:57:00.000-04:00

And so that concludes my one week adventure stateside... Back to school now. It looks intense as it always is with summer programs. But we found out today that we're getting Thursday's off so that is pretty awesome.

My first week back has been a bit hectic. I arrived back in Toronto on Monday morning about 6am. It was really interesting driving into the city as the sun came up. It seems so small compared to New York, and I have to admit the CN Tower did look very impressive with the dawn gleaming off of it.

If school started any earlier I would have made it on Monday, but my body shut down at 8am and that was me done. Tuesday I was really grumpy and irritable (thanks to those who put up with me!) and realised that I was just still very very tired.

Today is Thursday, I feel pretty damn perky about my situation. This week I got a letter from my brother! Thanks Don!!! My mum is coming to visit in exactly one week- at this time I'll be en route to the airport.

It looks like I'll have one awesome class this semester, The History of Architecture- Aces!!! The textbook looks awesome but it's over $100 and I think I learned my lesson the first Art History Degree... watch out for the shiny textbooks!

Hope I'll be hearing from y'all soon (hey I was in the US for a week, I had to have picked up something!!).
Hugs
This is me on the deck of the "landing" a restaurant in New Hope- it was really nice! I heart vacation (and my new shoes- yep I was wearing them!)

I heart New York

2007-05-10T18:05:00.000-04:00

Tuesday of my holiday I went into New York City to meet up with Terrance. I have to say New York is pretty freaking awesome. I didn't have much time there so I just walked around Times Square (not so squarish- in your European town square sense), Madison Ave, Park Ave, Broadway.

And I bought shoes on Madison Ave!!! I'm not sure it get any better than this?! And they are perfect, exactly what I wanted. I leeeerv them. (I know it's weird to be this attached to your shoes, but hey I don't have a pet or a husband)

The City is just so amazing, I felt really safe all the time- and the people watching is out of this world. I cannot wait to go back to celebrate my thirtieth in June. I'm positively giddy actually. Chelsea and Laura are flying out from Victoria to meet up with me and Robert and Valerie will be coming in too. It should be great, I heard about this champagne bar "Bubbles" which I'll have to check out in honour of my friend Briana who turns thirty the week before me- (always older but never wiser... ;-> ).

The day after New York Valerie and I headed out to check out Philadelphia. It's pretty neat, I love all the public art work around these big cities. At this one building they had giant monopoly pieces all around. Although I couldn't find the shoe or the iron (the ones I usually was- que'lle surprise- I know).

The rest of the week was pretty mellow, which was so wonderful and what I needed. I did get to go into a Macy's and drool over the many many many nice things- I did shop in the Old Navy- yep it's more ghetto but hey I'm po. Best find were a really nice soft cream sweater with snaps and a hood for $3.97 and underwears with Tucans saying I love you to each other. Because if your underwear can't be ridiculous- what have you got??

SHADFest 2007- it's effical and fresh yo!

2007-05-03T11:15:00.000-04:00

Hello from stateside!!

Well school is finally done and I managed to pass all my classes! Surprisingly math was one of my higher marks, beating out even english. Weird I know. I don't quite get it either.

Right now I am in Pennsylvania staying with Valerie and Robert who have quite graciously allowed me to come down for the week between classes. Getting here was slightly mammoth, I haven't been on an overnight bus for quite some time.

It's been a great mix of action packed adventure and relaxation this week thus far. Saturday was slightly zombieish although we did managed to head to New Hope and check out SHADFEST!!!!! That's right once a year these fish called Shad do something very very special and New Hope and Lumberville get down and PAR-TAY. I dont' know what the fish do but it's got to be pretty damn special.

Sunday was nice and mellow as well- we were all pretty tired, but Val and Rob bought a BBQ so we were able to have a stinking awesome dinner that night.

This is a post-holidaium post so I'll break it up/break it down into parts.

Examine yourself....

2007-04-21T11:04:00.000-04:00

Well it's been quite some time since I last posted- nothing like another bout of exams to make me do all the things I have been putting off.

Thursday was my last day of classes! Hurrah, one semester down! It also coincided with a visit from my friend Pili, whom I met in Victoria but now resides in Sydney, Australia working in high finance. She's fancy! We had a great evening Thursday, we chatted with our LeMar via web cam, and then went out for yummy pasta dinner, with wine... Friday we got off to a lazy start and headed out to our church- and by church I do mean the Bata Shoe Museum. It was pretty neat and they had this great Rococco exhibit on. I am developing quite the penchant for yellow silk hmmm.

Afterwards we lunched at Pho Hung and went for a wander around China town and Kensington Market- the market is really great. I had been there once before in January, but now that the weather is warmer and all the shops have half moved to the streets it's much more fun. We even stopped and watched hippies play on their drums and some smellies dancing in the street- made me think of Victoria... and then we walked quickly away.

There are some amazing food shops in the area and Pili bought almost ten dollars worth of Mexican candy...!

And really that was that! It was a very fun day, I miss having girlfriends about where we can wander the shops and look at things and such.

The previous week and weekend was full of schooling and Terrance visiting, that was really great fun. (ha well the visiting part, school... not so much). But I got all my presentations done and did well on them so yay. I have am now learning to work with PowerPoint, it's kind of fun. And I'd always take a presentation over a paper- hands down any day of the week. Now if only we could do presentations instead of exams. That would be tops!

For Easter weekend I went out to Belleville to hang out with my grandma and my uncle. That was really nice, I took the slow bus out there and actually it was really beautiful driving through all the boonies at about sunset. My uncle made the most amazing turkey dinner on Saturday night, it was awesome and so nice to eat a dinner that was made by family again. Hopefully when my mum comes to visit she'll make me dinner (wink wink, nudge nudge). Due to the weekend and the very strange hours of the bus service I didn't get to spend as much time there as I wanted to. And while I was there it snowed- an Easter miracle!!!

But I do think that Spring has sprung; yesterday I didn't even wear a sweater downtown, never mind a jacket and mitts! The sun is shining and at 11am it is already a terrific 17degrees. Today is devoted to studying as soon as I get it a bit more together. And happily it will be studying outside in the sunshine!

This week is full of exams- three on Monday whooo hoooo and finishing up assignments by Friday. I hope to be hopping on a bus and heading down to Pennsylvania to visit Val and Rob for the week that I am off and heading into NYC as well for maybe a day or something. This time I hope to check out Philly and well just hang out in general. Val and Robert have quite the personal gym going on in their house and Val and I are going to do some working out. Maybe go for a couple of runs. I am looking forward to going for runs in High Park once it's all bloomy and parky.

So I suppose that is all for now- I could go on... but really should study.

I got a pressssssent!

2007-03-19T21:35:00.000-04:00

Yeah- I gots me a coool new sweater! My mum made it, she's the best and you are allll jealous I know it! I was really grumpy today and then I came home to this pressie! I believe my luck changed cause I picked up a pennie. (man that was a lot of exclamation points!)

Things are going well here at the centre of the world. Had a very nice weekend, friend was visiting from out of town and that was lovely. Had to work like a dog to get this massive drafting project done. But I got it done and handed in Friday morning- whew. So the weekend was free and clear for good times.

It was sunny today! Huroooo apparently it's going to be in the late teens on Thursday so take that West Coast!!! Hopefully it will be sunny and then I will call all of you at 8am (EST-natch) and let you know how awesome it is here. Maybe I'll wear my flipflops...

Really not much else has been going on. After all the wonderful excitement of last weekend it's good to get back into a routine. School is staring to heat up a bit.

Huh- well there was a slight delay in posting the past post- as it's now the weekend again. Sunday to be exact. Actually even worse it's sunday evening and I have a test tomorrow. So I have been studying and cleaning and taking some very odd photos when I can't handle the studying or the cleaning anymore.

Yet another project due this week- will be doing that for the rest of the evening and tomorrow and tomorrow night and tues morning!

Right going to actually post this as opposed to resaving draft in manner of many of my emails.

Hugs
M

Breakfast At Mitzi's

2007-03-12T20:40:00.000-04:00

This past weekend my friend Jen was in town from Montreal. It was so great to see her (and the added bonus of having a house guest is the house gets cleaned) and hang out. We met up Saturday afternoon downtown and walked around and looked at the various porn available to us on Bloor St. There was diamond porn- Tiffany's, yoga porn- Lululemon, shoe porn (my fave!)- Nine West, way too fancy porn- Chanel, kitchen porn- Williams-Sonoma. It was delightful... After that we dined at a pub near the school of Music with a bunch of the opera peoples. It was fun, but those singing types certainly know how to project their voices.

Jen and I headed home and chatted for bit before bed. Had a bit of a lazy Sunday morning and then met up with her friends Kristen and Ashley for brunch at Mitzi's. This is definitely the best brunch I have had here. AND I had the scrambled eggs... I know I know. I was as shocked as you all. AND the even weirder thing was I then wanted the pancake. But it's a great little spot in Roncensvales, tiny kind of reminded me of Cup of Joes. Still have not had a good benny here though.

After brunch Jen and I window shopped and such along the village. Big news! I bought my first purse in Toronto. And yes- it is a big deal! It's a matt and natt gray clutch- so cute! Jen took off in the afternoon and I came back to get it together for school today.

Hmm well I could make this post much more exciting but I am slightly distracted and I really have to get prepped for tomorrow. So I'll say adieu. The pics are of Jen(short brown hair) & Ashley and Kirsten & me.

Holy Snapping Ars*holes

2007-03-06T18:53:00.000-05:00

Title courtesy of Brandy Shaw's mum- Marcy. Don't really know what it means but it gets the point across. And that point is- IT'S COLD. Today when I left I checked my widgets (which is a fancy mac thing and I pity all your who don't know what it is) and it was -21. This does not factor in the windchill or anything!

I had to go to a copy centre before class and it was about a ten minute walk from the bus stop- wheee! The only way I can explain the cold when you breath in is that if tastes like you have just swallowed a bunch of sea water and makes you want to throw up just as much. But it's sunny! Hard to feel bad when it's sunny. I am actually generally terribly giddy.

Whee well I have gotten the marks back from one midterm and one assignment. In my math midterm I got 70%! Which may not seem like much but I say it's beyond respectable. Considering the agony that I (and my family) had to go through the first time I did Math 12- this is much less painless. Probably the only time my parents are happy to be very far away from me. So I think this may be fridge worthy! (Yes I am a nerd and put my grades on the fridge- so- you wanna fight about it?)

I also got my first drafting assignment back and I got 96%!! Wheee. Very excited about that because I didn't think I did as well as I could have. (and yes dad next time I'll get 100- don't worry!) I really want to put this one on the fridge but it's too big. Oh well.

Ok small rant. I was on the bus on the way home from school and had to sit between two people, fine- at least I get to sit! However one of the people beside me is sitting there with her legs wide open essentially taking up as much space as possible. Now I am not sure if she has a chip on her shoulder for the way bigger people are treated in the world and decided to take a stand (or sit) right there and then on the bus. I myself am bigger than "normal" and generally find it appalling the way people are treated on the basis of there size. (however that's a different rant for a different day) But to do this on a very full bus is just rude. I don't care what your size is- crowded public transit is all about making yourself smaller so everyone can fit. Finally about 3/4 of the way through the ride she got a clue-maybe she felt the resentment wafting off of me. And that was that.

Thanks! Other than that I am very positive! Happy and giddy. I also made a a friend at school. And nope, she is neither married and I suspect she does not own a cottage at the lake. But she's super nice, in one of my classes, but ahead of me in the program, although younger than me in years. Anyhoo that was exciting, we had lunch on Monday and are doing a group project together so hopefully we'll hang out.

Welll, I have to make dinner. Have not yet figured out how to get someone to do that for me as I am living on my own. Oh Valerie and Robert are probably in Mexico as we speak. Lucky lucky devils!

Another Saturday Night...

2007-03-03T20:15:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading Alice Munro's "Lives of Girls and Women". It took me a while to get into the story, but I did like it. I like her writing style, at once subjective and removed from the situation. Gosh how much more Canadian can I get-eh?? Been up the Tour de CN, Niagara Falls, experienced a blizzard. They certainly can't revoke my card now just because I speak French poorly. Can they?

The first week back after reading break has passed, Tuesday classes were cancelled I am assuming due to snow, however I managed to get up there... there were two midterms and two more to come this week. Fortunately the Math midterm has come and gone. Pretty sure I passed, but beyond that I refuse to comment.

Today I bought a luxury item... a rain shower head. I think I am in looove. It's so nice, I could probably spend more time in the shower. I don't have a bathtub in my apartment, which is the only bad thing I can say about it. Some nights I just long to lie in a scalding tub and read my book. It's a tragedy of the modern era. When I can design houses I am going to have the most fantastical delicious bathrooms EVER.

Next weekend my friend Jen is coming up from Montreal to stay with me on Saturday night. I quite keen to see her, it's been a while. We used to work together in the pub at UVIC, dedicating nights cooking where we would only speak German- much to the dismay of everyone us well, except Jan the server who was from Germany.

Have been studying today, so my house is very clean. I awoke early on Friday morning for a glass of water to find my kitchen slightly submerged... too much snow build up we think. It's all sorted now and there was no real damage done. But an exciting way to start the day nonetheless.

Really that's all I've got. I could continue on expounding on something or other. But I am sure that would bore the two of you to tears (yes I know who you are). Roger yo- peace out!

ChickenPants & MonkeyNuts- together again

2007-02-26T18:25:00.000-05:00

I'll let you figure out who is who... Saturday Claire came over to my place for a visit while before she headed back to Vic- it was super terrific to see her and hang out in the neighbourhood. Also nice to have a person to sit in my place and have a cup of coffee (or two) with.

Saw my friend from Uni, Jen, on Saturday night at the Local for a couple of pints. So it's been a very fun week seeing lots of people. All the more to get me through the next few grueling weeks- it's mid-term time! Woot! Had one today, there is one on Wednesday (math-ugh), one on Thursday.

Got my AutoCad- test results, not as good as i would have liked, which is crappy because I had to redo the test and I am pretty sure I did better the first time as I wasn't rushing off to sit around an airport... Got an English assignment back with a high mark-whew- I was slightly nervous I had forgotten everything basic and could only postulate on the subtext of the new film-noir genre as according to Lacan (or something equally ridiculous).

Today in the mail I got money! From the school- I have absolutely no idea what for, but I'll take it!!! Better than a bill that's for sure!

So reading break is over, I made it to school this morning- early even. Quite the shock to a system that didn't quite make it out of bed before 10am on any given day last week. I love being a student. Love. It.

Other than that not too much else going down. Studying a lot this week. Melissa and Vince leave on Wednesday, but I have to stick my head in the books, so I don't think I'll get to see them again. So wonderful to have them here though! They are such a good match for each other- makes me all ferchlemmped.

Right back to the dishes, I will seriously give anyone that comes here to do my dishes a shiny nickel. Believe me it would be a good nickel. I don't hand out lame nickels... Anybody? Anybody?

Ich bin gefallen

2007-02-24T10:46:00.000-05:00

The topic of this post is falling... It's strange the connotations the word falling can take. One can fall physically, emotionally, spiritually. And does one have to fall, to be able to arise to greater heights than before? I think we have all be down before, but it does help us recognize the highs. Hmmm deep thoughts. Nothing like a road trip to bring out deep thoughts.

Right this picture is a picture of a picture that I took on my camera, the cord is in PA.... But me at the falls....

Yesterday Melissa, Vince, Vince's sister Jennifer and I made our way out to Niagara Falls. It's been a momentous week on the Canadian Landmark for us- first speakers corner(!), then the CN Tower and now the Falls. I have to say, this was my favourite. The CN Tower was ok, but I am always continually more in awe of what Nature can do as opposed to people. (Kenneth Clark would be appalled).

The falls were breathtaking, even with half of them frozen over, almost more so, I found a real sense of movement in the layers of ice. A snapshot of one moment. We went to the "Journey Behind the Falls" which is where you walk to some viewing platforms about 2/3 of the way down the falls. One was totally iced over, but the other you could see the water coming down.

After viewing that we took the scenic drive to Niagara on the Lake. Stopping at a winery on the way to sample their wares. I bought jam! (apricot mmmm) Niagara on the lake is about half an hour away and such a beautiful little town. Niagara Falls is super tacky which I guess is understandable. But this town is lovely, it's obviously trying to be a bit quaint but it works for them and they aren't being pushy about it.

We had dinner at the Olde Angel Inn, our second choice but it was the right one! As soon as we walked in I loved it. It's a nice proper English style pub with real fireplaces, lots of wood, a fine selection of ales- served at the right temperature. Just really cozy. It's been in business since 1792, burned down once in 1812 and going ever since. Really a good pub should not be anywhere under 100 years old. But I won't go into a rant about the problems with North American pubs- not today anyway.
Right-on topic- dinner was good and then we headed back to the city. I love road tripping with Melissa, I feel no shame in screeching out the lyrics to You Give Love A Bad Name in front of her, since I know she is doing the same.

Well I was back home by 9pm which was great and then Kundun was on TV. Oooh I love that movie, it's so beautifully shot and poignant. All the reds and yellows of the Tibetan Monks.. (and we know red and yellow= orange!) I like the idea of the Tibetan Sky Ceremony for the dead. It's where your body is cut up and fed to vultures on the top of a mountain. I don't know why I like it, seems more freeing that laying somewhere.

AND BIG NEWS!!! I woke this morning to an email saying that Rob and Florie are now proud parents to Serena Dulcie Waller. So I think that they have also fallen! I have seen two pictures of her and I admit I am already pretty smitten.

Well that's about it on the adventure so far. I think it's going to be a mindful day. Pondering on falling, but hopefully not doing any actual physical falling. I consider a day seized if I don't fall over at some point or bang my elbow on something.

Ridiculousness Part B- Say Whatcha Like!

2007-02-22T13:13:00.000-05:00

Well this week is reading week. And I have been getting some studying done which is good. Kind of hard to get out of my PJs however. Glad I have an extensive collection!

My friends Melissa and Vince arrived from Calgary on Tuesday evening and I met up with them yesterday afternoon downtown. We went for some yum Vietnamese and the headed over to Much Music, as it was Melissa's request. And of course, she talked me in to going on Speakers Corner. Gosh I hope none of you ever see me on TV! Not that we had much to say, mostly just laughing like idiots. But hey, you have to fulfill those childhood dreams!

We went up the CN Tower, which I suppose is quite patriotic- but I dunno.... It's a tall building, it's like looking out of an airplane. Anyway- now that I have done it I feel no compulsion to ever do it again. So there.

Today we met up again for some lunch in the neighbourhood- where I found a pub that serves burgers with peanut butter on them. I think my dad would love it. I couldn't bring myself to try it. Peanut butter belongs on toast, or celery sticks- that's it. (and really when you get down to it- bread is just toast waiting to happen)

My friend from Victoria, Claire was flying in this evening and I met her at the airport. We went to her hotel room and room serviced and went in the pool, it was very fun! But this is my second night of getting in past midnight. I am certainly not cut out for this sort of thing anymore.

Tomorrow Melissa, Vince, possibly his sister, and I will be maybe heading out to Niagara Falls which would be great to see. However it will be after sleeping in!

And that is about it thus far. Schooling is going well- midterms are coming up. Boo. But I suppose it's inevitable. So Michelle Out...

Ridiculousness Part A- High Flying Hijinxes

2007-02-22T13:03:00.000-05:00

Gosh it's been a while since my last post. So much has happened! I went down to Pennsylvania to visit my friends Valerie and Robert on the 8th. The trip down was mammoth. I could have flown home for the amount of time it took... but still it was a great flight!

We finally got back to Val and Rob's at about 2.30 and had a midnight dinner with champers! Yumm... Val and I stayed up ridiculously late catching up! We had so much fun while I was down. I love it there, they live near New Hope, which is this pretty little town on the Delaware river. It reminded me a lot of where I used to live in England, all these big estates and small country roads.

Friday night we went to their local which is a pub that is at least 300 years old. Now that is what I call a pub... Saturday we just sort of bummed about and watched The Ring that night, kind of spooky. Sunday we went to Princeton and walked around the Uni there. It's really beautiful and a very nice town.

Monday was also mammoth coming home. We checked my flight on Sunday night only to find it didn't exist- found out that I had been put on a different flight which left a bit later. That was fine, when I got to the air port they had (of course) over booked the flight and I was asked to be routed via Montreal.

They offered me a voucher for my trouble so I took it! That will hopefully cover my flight down to New York in the spring! And as another bonus I was upgraded to 1st class on the way from Montreal to TO. Hot towels and everything....

It was so much fun to see Val and Rob and they were so hospitable and nice to me. Great to see where they are calling home these days (lucky lucky!) and to see that they are so happy and in love.

Back home it was back to school for a few days. Hard to get back into the swing of things after vacationing I tell you.

Alas I left my camera cord in PA so I can't upload any new pics- boo.

Ok onto the next post...

It's a Super Super-Bowl Sunday

2007-02-04T22:00:00.000-05:00

Wooot! Go Colts! I watched the game by myself this evening but it was all good times. Although I have to say that Canadian commercial are TERRIBLE..... I mean where were the awesome K-Fed commercials? Who cares about Howie Mandell? Or cars? Blech, but that was the only low light. It was a great game and the Colts definitely out played the bears. And I hear they flew everyone that works in the Colt's stadium down for the game. Everyone! I mean this team deserves to win.

I Fought a Chair....

2007-02-03T17:11:00.000-05:00

And I WON (high five!)

Today I was able to get the final accoutrement for my abode. A reading chair. I found it on Craigslist- if anyone doesn't know what Craigslist is- get thee to the interweb. It is the BEST website on the net. Seriously. You can find everything on there, and I mean everyting you know?

On with the tale. So I found the chair on there and also found a person who would pick me up at the place the chair was living and drive me and it back to my place. The one thing I really didn't think through was the fact that the chair is wide and the entrance to my place is not.

A) It wouldn't fit down the side of the building to my door- ok I took it around through a neighbour's back yard (shhh don't tell them) and threw it into our backyard. That done I tried to get it into my place through the back door.

B) It wouldn't fit through the back door- ok so it fits down the alley to my door from this way. Then it was about 25 minutes trying to get it in through the door. I finally FINALLY was able to get it in through the door.

C)It wouldn't fit down the stairs. Oh yes at this point one leg had fallen off- I had cut myself and bled all over the chair. - It looked to me that I would need to take off the legs- however I don't seem to have the base of my screwdriver that holds all the attachments. LeSigh. I take off part of the railing and it makes it down to my door.

D) It gets through the door but not down the wee hallway to the living room. GAAAH at this point it's been an hour of trying to get the dang thing in there. Now it's a grudge match. Typical- I get a chair with attitude. Maybe it liked living in North York- but hey, this neighbourhood is great...

E) After realizing the legs have to come off I got at them with a hammer trying to loosen the bolts. It breaks the hammer.... Seriously this chair it tough! However I refuse to be beat down by a chair. Eventually my brute strength prevails and I get the last leg off and it is here! Legless but right now I don't care. It can sit there and think about what it's done and resign itself to it's final home. Because the only way it is getting out of here is in pieces.

So take that CHAIR.

Other than that the day has been uneventful- I think that was enough. It was a possibility of going to school and working on my project more, but I did that for about 5 hours yesterday and I only have a few more hours to go. And I just can't bear to go outside again.

There's an EXTREME cold warning on for tonight and tomorrow night. Right now it's -8 but windy so probably lower.

Ok that's enough for today. I am going to go sit in my chair like the conquerer I am. Got a couple of movies to watch, I am going to vegetate!

Don't mess with me. I have tools and I will use them to destroy!

Twosday's- I like 'em!

2007-01-30T23:20:00.000-05:00

Today was Tuesday- and in fact it still is for the next 40 minutes. It didn't start off that well as I spent half the night up and tossing and turning. I felt like I had drank a quart of coffee and was all jittery. Except that I didn't drink any coffee after about 11am yesterday.

So when I awoke to my alarm this morning I was indeed alarmed. So much so I hid for the next 40 minutes under the covers. It was snowing very heavily in big fluffy flakes. That was nice. I managed to make it to my studio class before the teacher. And by before I mean I was two steps ahead of her and held the door. But it's a pretty mellow class. We are working on a roof plan with 4 elevations. I love drafting. I could do that for all day for the rest of my life. I just love it.

It's so precise and fiddly and you get to you neat-o pencils. But the move these days is towards using Auto-Cad- boo to technology. (although I do praise it that I am able to web cam with my family almost every day- then I like technology) I had an old boyfriend that was all "damn the man" but he so liked the man that paid his EI. Stinkin hippies....

OK back on topic! After class I was feeling so good I made it to the gym for about an hour and then went to the next class. I am glad I did the gym early because I had it budgeted to do after the 2nd class- but by then I was so tired. I just came home and went to bed for a bit.

I started reading Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar yesterday. It's a really good book. I don't know much about the author other than she stuck her head in an oven. And wasn't she married to Al Purdy? or am I so confused as to the poet she was married to? Anyway, ironically (or just coincidentally) the book is all about a young woman in the depths of depression trying to kill herself it's very compelling. I'll probably finish it tonight.

Laura and I were supposed to meet up as she is in Toronto at the Gift Show doing some buying, but I got an email from her saying that it all just got out of hand and they haven't had a moment to spare. Alas- I was really looking forward to sitting around with a friend but what can you do- duty calls.

Right, I was doing some math homework- I finally got myself caught up on the weekend- and then the tempting call of the computer so here I am. I have to get out and take some more pictures. I wasn't feeling very inspired last week- all lonely and maudlin. But I chatted with Mohamed on Sunday and that perked me right up. And I have had some good chats with other friends to keep me going. Next on the hit list is Chels! It is so tempting to get up and call someone at some freaky hour like 5am and go "What? Aren't you up?- The whole WORLD is up darling!". Maybe I'll save that for a more special occasion- like the morning after a big night out...

Well this is enough for tonight and for Tuesday- the best day of the week!

Alllllright- it's a winter wonderland

2007-01-26T23:33:00.000-05:00

So today it snowed! And it's been snowing and it will keep snowing- maybe it will be up to my knees tomorrow! That would be super awesome!

I kind of slept in today. But I managed to get out and about a bit. I found a super cheap set of shelves from someone that lives near-by. So I went out to pick them up and on my walk home the snow really started to come down.

I chatted with my friend Florie today, she is due in about a month with their first baby! I can't wait!! This is the closest I've been to being an auntie. She sounds good, but ready to be a mummy.

This afternoon I went to the ROM- as I was under the impression it was free on Friday evenings. However once I got there a sign outside told me it now costs $5. Bummer, I was really hoping this would be my "Friday night date" every week. But for $5 it's a bit expensive. Maybe once a month. It was pretty great though. They had this awesome exhibit of decor through the ages from the middle ages up to about the art deco movement. Oh it was great! Yummy furniture!

After that I did a bit of grocery shopping for the coming week and now I am sort of watching the movie Thank You For Smoking. It's alright, although I am mostly surfing the internet. Tomorrow will be lots of studying and maybe a trip to the local pool.

This is me with straight hair. It's perfect- someday it will be mine....

Egggscellent

2007-01-24T11:12:00.000-05:00

Today, this morning , I - Michelle, ate eggs for breakfast. Well to be precise I had two tablespoons of egg whites which equals one egg which equals half a real egg. I made an scrambly thing with peppers and some tacon. (turkey bacon for the uninitiated). Actually it wasn't too bad and if I didn't think about it, the egg whites didn't taste like anything. So there you go. I am trying to get out of the habit of toast for breakfast and go with some protein since that seems to keep me going longer.

It's a late start today for me, I don't have to be at school until 2.30 where I will be subject to my first quiz/test thing. It's on grammar- ugh. I am sure that you can all tell I don't place high priority on grammar. All papers I received in uni had red marks saying "you need to proof read more"... However, I have been studying quite well for this one and spent the morning doing online quizzes.

This past weekend was pretty good. Friday was frustrating as I had to spend the whole day waiting for my boxes to arrive. I did get very cheap delivery but a window of 9-5 is exasperating. ESPECIALLY- when they didn't arrive until 7pm. So that was my day- I did spend a couple of hours on the phone to my friend Melissa getting all caught up. She and her husband Vince will be coming to Toronto at the end of Feb. I am so excited to see them! It's been a couple of years.

Saturday was so much more fun. I got up and went down town. My first time of really being "downtown". I don't think I saw much of it since I was just walking around and then I got lost- surprise, surprise.... - and headed back to Union Station, since I know where that is.

Some highlights:
outdoor skating in Nathan Phillips Square, looked like fun but I would need a buddy to hang on to as the ice looked like crap and I have only been skating once in the past ten years.

obviously the CN tower, it looks neat. I wanted to go up because it was a clear day but I think I will wait until spring when there is some contrast (trees) to the landscape. Or maybe fall. Plus I also need a friend for that because I know I will be terrified. But if I can jump out of a plane I can go up a spooky elevator- and pay for the pleasure!

The St. Lawerence Market- this is a huge indoor market, similar to Granville Island Market, only bigger and not so brightly coloured. And come to think of it not located on an island. It was neat to see all the things, but nothing really interested me. Maybe a good place to buy meat as you can select your portion size.

After being pretty frozen from all the outside walking I went to the Eaton's Centre. I had to find some comfortable (sigh- and sensible) winter boots. Which I am happy to report I did! And they look normal too, as well they were on for a huge discount which is good because I really don't like spending money on sensible shoes.

Evenings are pretty dull, I guess I am glad I have cable to hear voices and keep myself entertained.

Sunday I went to Ikea- there is a complimentary shuttle from Kipling Station which is quite dangerous. I had to buy a mattress pad for my bed since the mattress is as hard as the ground. Instead of getting one to fit my mattress I opted for a smaller one but of high quality. It's made a difference, but really I need to go to a chiropractor. Plus some other things- oh a really awesome small ironing board. You can set it up on a table. I used it last night- it's perfect.
After that I spent the day studying and went for a run which was good, hard, but good. No pain, no gain as they say.

Last night I realized I needed to rearrange my "bed/living" room. I think it works much better now. When (or if) one were to walk down the hallway they would first see my bookcase rather than my desk. I moved the desk to under the window where my bed was so I can stare out of it in procrastination- I mean, contemplation. (and the light in my face keeps me awake). The bed was moved to where the bookcase was which is also nice because people who glance in don't really see my bed and it makes it more private. What prompted all this was the fact my chair was impeding my access to the "dressing room" hence, I haven't really been using it.

This will do quite well- for now. I love arranging and rearranging things.

Today I have been studying and cleaning. It sucks to admit this, but my dad was right. You DO sleep better when your place is tidy. Now my kitchen is set up and the carpets are vacuumed. The only thins I am needing is a chair to sit in for reading. You would be surprised how hard it is to find. I have seen a couple on craigslist- but they are so expensive! And we are talking old chairs... it would be nice to not sit on my bed, but for now it will have to do.

Anyhoo there you go- all up to date. Maybe this evening I'll post new pictures of my new and improved land. Wisk me luck on the test.

I am in prettyville and Finkles the mayor...

2007-01-21T19:39:00.002-05:00

SO I have finished my weekend at my grandmothers. The trip down went fairly well, I was early- so I think the streak has been broken. Whew- The train ride was pretty good. It's kind of flat here, reminds me of the prairies really. I suppose there would be more to look at in the summer when the trees are out.

We went along side Lake Ontario for a bit and it was nice and refreshing to see water. It even had a bit of a tide and waves going on. The first evening was quite quiet. Today we went out where Grandma had her hair done and then off to the Maple Dale cheese factory. It was great, they had samples. I had some garlic cheese curd! I also purchased some onion cheddar and one year old smoked cheddar. I sampled a bit of 5 year old cheddar- quite sharp! After that we went to the mall and had a walk around and then went to dollarramma. Everything in there is $1. It's nuts! So I got a couple of household things that you wouldn't want to spend money on. ie- scrubbies, picture hooks, etc.

Right now we are having a bit of a quiet time and I finished a smutty novel that I found in the drawer. Grandma said it was my mum's but I dunno- it was historical and didn't feature any cowboys so I doubt it. now i am slightly bored so I am typing to you lot even though I can't get an internet connection.

I really admire my Uncle Stephen- he is pretty much my grandma's care taker. He's so incredibly patient with her and so selfless with himself and his time. He is definitely a great man- but don't ever tell I said that, he's got a bit of an ego. And he informs me of all the things my mum tells me that I don't seem to be party to. Very handy indeed. My Grandma is very hard of hearing- and does not have a hearing aid.Therefore conversations are held at a higher volume than I am accustomed to. I really hope that when I am old I'll be able to banish vanity and get myself one(a hearing aid). Actually I know I will, there is no way that I want to not be able to hear what everyone is saying, how could one be nosey? People tend NOT to want to shout out personal private information to someone who is hard of hearing. Maybe I would get a whisper 2000. I always liked those commercials!
Anyhoo the news is on so I guess I'll go watch it, it seems like a right of passage when you are at your Grandparents house- always the news, that and Lawerence Welk.

Ok so I didn't post this right away- that makes me a bad blogger and now I have to do a whole nother blog right after this. Good thing I have homework to do- that always makes me procrastinate.

What I would look like...

2007-01-11T19:50:00.000-05:00

If I were in Victoria right now. Damn and blast all you snow goers! It was so mild this evening that I couldn't even wear my fancy toque and mitts.

So the first week of school has ended for me. Today was slightly irritating- as I was not going to go to my first class (I just knew it wasn't going to pan out) and finally convinced myself to be a good student and not skip in the first week, only to find out the lecture doesn't start until next week. So I had a couple of hours to kill up on campus- thrilling.

I wrote a small english quiz for my class- I don't get it, I had to do an English written thing to be placed in the class and now I have to do one to prove that I belong in the class- seems slightly disorganized to me.

That done I had my sandwich and read a little bit. Although the plastic bag I used for my lunch kit smelled suspiciously like dirty hippy incense. BLECH. I believe the previous tenant was a filthy boy who never cleaned and smoked like mad in the apartment- possibly trying to clear it up by burning nasty incense. That I would say is the only thing I don't like thus far. And that will go away! (the smell, not my dislike for the smell)

Well my hair seems to be less frizzy here. Score one for Ontario. So far my teachers (I don't know if you can call them profs if you are not in Uni) all seem really nice and approachable. Today I had a Structures course which was neat and I am looking forward to the project (although it's a group project- gosh how I hate those). And I do mean hate them. I always either end up alienating everyone because I am bossy and they are idiots or become totally apathetic about the situation. I usually try to get out of it- which I would say is a demonstration of one's ability to negotiate. A very handy skill.

The class seemed to degenerate down into a discussion of why we are here and what can an Architectural Technologist due- mainly due to a man who is getting retraining done because of an injury at his previous profession. Which is fine, we should have some idea of what we are going to be doing with this certificate and the limitations of it but don't you think you should do that on your own time? I know I did- obviously I won't become a high powered high paid architect with this diploma and that I'll have to start at some office as a drafts person and work my way around and up and if I really wanted to make money fast I'd be plumber or an electrician. And some people were asking the teacher how much we'd make after grading, the poor guy just wanted to talk about structures- and he isn't even an AT he's a structural engineer...

Anyway that was not that exciting.

The next class was my CADD class also know as AutoCADD, with the same teacher. We started to play around a little bit with it. It looks like it could be fun. Class finishes at about 6 and since it's rush hour I don't get home until about 7.30ish. So I just had dinner- my first at my spanky new kitchen table.

I have to pack up tonight and tomorrow I'll be heading off on the train to visit my Grandma in Belleville- which I believe it about 3 hours outside of Toronto. I am excited for two reasons: firstly I get to see my grandma for the first time in years and secondly because I get to take the train. I love trains, it can be such an elegant way to travel.

My boxes still haven't arrived, but there have been some blizzards and such across the country so I can't get too paranoid I suppose. I was hoping to get them when I had time in the morning to go get them, but that will have to wait until next week I guess. I do have a suitcase at Grandma's with my easel in it and other things that I can't remember packing.

Anyhoo I should go and write emails to people. All of you reading this in snow covered house well it's just not fair! You can send it to me. Although it is kind of like that song "Everywhere you go always take the weather with you".

Loves
M

My First Day of School

2007-01-08T13:39:00.000-05:00

Ok so I made it and it wasn't terrible. I remember to wear trousers and no one pointed and laughed at me (well as far as I know and that's what counts).

I am actually home a bit early today because I haven't been placed in a math or english test, so I couldn't go to those classes.

My first class on Monday mornings is CADD (computer aided drafting detailing or something like that). The teacher seems nice and as irritated as we all were that we had to be there so early- 8am!!! In light of recent tardiness mishaps (see previous post!) I arrived really really early! The school seems alright- there are so many people it's nuts. I love listening to all the ladies with the Caribbean accents, I need to learn how to talk like that.

My second class was a self study but since we didn't learn anything yet we didn't do much. My third class is career management. The jury is still out on this one- I think it's going to be a bit basic for me. However it's terrific that Humber took the initiative to recogonise that students need more practical knowledge about joining the work force.

So I stopped at a No Frills store on my way home to pick up more groceries, it's pretty cheap. I guess like the great canadian superstore but probably more like the knock off that is in Esquimalt.

Today I think I am going to put together more furniture and hopefully that will be my apartment all in order. Maybe I will even do my first assignment- which I believe is how to save a file to a remote network. But when I finish it I get a free zip drive- saaaaaweeet.

One thing I have noticed is there aren't very many old people- many it's because I worked in a dystopia where it was all old people when in actual fact in the rest of the world they aren't that numerous.

I am thinking about all of you! Hope you have a happy Monday.

Michelle

Morning has broken

2007-01-04T23:57:00.000-05:00

Hello from Onterrible!

Although I have to say to be fair it seems pretty good so far. All the people have been super nice. My landlord is amazing, he picked me (and my luggage up from the airport). But I get ahead of myself. Let's start this tale from the beginning:

I actually missed my flight on Wednesday morning. Due to some clearly cloudy thinking I left waaaay too late in the morning and didn't make the check in. The man at the desk took pity on me and did some fanangling and got me the last seat on a 6.30 flight out of victoria direct to toronto. So I ended up getting in a half hour early than was supposed. Which was ok, although I would have preferred not to have spent that money. Oh well.

J my landlord took me the sort of scenic route home. It was nice to see the lake- hurrah water!- and high park looks terrific. Once getting in and getting my luggage in we worked on getting the network set up for me so I can pester all of you as I have been. Once that was done I took a cab to go get the boxes that had arrived the day before via greyhound. The cab driver was very nice and pointed out buildings and then we chatted about cricket. I tell you- if you like cricket and can talk about it in even the most basic terms you will have friends the world over.

I got dinner from this little eatery on the corner. Terrific home-made burgers! It's called Grillaway's- it's good. I was really keyed up after all the stress so I spent the evening unpacking all my boxes even though I had only slept a few hours in two days. I finally was able to get to sleep and it was good.

This morning I called my friends Florie and Rob and arranged for them to come over. In the meantime I went across the street to the coffee place I saw and got an Americano, it was pretty good I have to say. The hardware store wasn't open yet so I headed back home only to find out that I had locked myself out of my apartment. Quite obviously I was not finished being an airhead. Fortunately I was wearing a fleecy and had my wallet (and my camera for some reason). So I ended up sitting on the porch and waited for F&R. Once they arrived we walked up to Jane and went to lunch at this super cute diner where the woman waitress made us sit up straight and keep our elbows off the table.

The rest of the afternoon was spent walking and poking around the different areas, it was so great to see friendly faces and they totally helped me out by letting me fill their vehicle with stuff.

I was let into my place in the afternoon- whew! F&R hung out for a bit and helped put together my bed and such. When they left I really started to get the place in order. I have pictures up on the wall now so it's getting much more homey.

I've chatting with peeps this evening (web cams are super sweet!) and watching a bit of TV and now a movie. Pics of my place are on my flickr page- this picture is the view of my corner. There are three small convenience stores, two of them are kind of nasty .

Tomorrow I'm heading up to explore the school.

And now it's more puttering. Good evening!

Freue Neus Jahre!

2007-01-01T19:26:00.000-05:00

Good day. Can you believe it? 2007. I think this year is going to be big... I am turning 30 this year, I am moving to a new city (well actually to a city in the first place), and I guess lots of other exciting things are going to happen.- They had better!

So it's countdown to moving day. This is my last Monday on the Island for quite some time. As far of mondays go this has been ok. I got the last of my boxes shipped out. Seriously if you have to ship lots of stuff Greyhound is the way to go. Junk was taken to the thrift store, now I am having a Timmy's and watching- yes you guessed it... sports on TV.

I don't think I am going to make any resolutions this year, I generally don't anyway since I think they are crap for the weak willed such as myself. I have enough going on. Looks like I'll be getting to see Florie and Rob and the squirt on Saturday. That will be great! I think Thursday will be spent up at the school going to orientation and figuring stuff out. That means that Friday will be all my own. I wonder what to do. I wish all my things would be at my house immediately. I like to be unpacked and set up asappy. I'm pretty anal retentive that way.

Anyhoo enough of this malarky. I hope each and every single one of you a very happy and exciting (but not in a bad way) New Year.

This should be my last BC post unless I am really procrastinating tomorrow. Seeing you in Onterrible!

Lervs
M

Willfully Unemployed...

2006-12-22T21:34:00.000-05:00

So today was my last day at work. It was pretty sad at the end. Especially saying good-bye to Curly.

Now I have almost three weeks off, but mostly it will be taking care of business here and then taking care of business there....

It feels pretty weird, to not be working, or that the next job I may have may be my "career" OR some schlubb job like slinging coffee or maybe a video store. I wonder if you get free videos when you work in a video store. I'd be ok with that.

Tonight is movie night, Mohamed is working on his ensuite bathroom. I think he may get it done!!

well i suppose that's about it, it would be great to celebrate tonight, but everyone is either away or busy. That time of year I suppose. It's going to be great to not set my alarm for the next little bit. But I have to pony up and getting really packed.

Well now it's back to the studio......

Chaos

2006-12-16T18:40:00.000-05:00

Today is the day that I really should be packing. In that vein I stayed up very late last night watching Friends episodes with Mo- I really didn't like it that much but I have to say it's made me laugh really hard. I think I like Phoebe the best, although I relate much more to Monica's anal retentative/ocd-ness.

Anyhoo after sleeping in late I have thus far packed 5 boxes. So it's slowly starting to come together. I was going to sell my dishes but now I am wondering if I ought to ship them out. I do quite like them and they are pretty good quality rather than the el-cheapo's I would buy there.

And so I have watched two movies today and done the dishes. I feel like I am back in University and I have a paper due. What will I clean next???

Alright- back to the procrastination. I really have to get on it or I won't get in all the procrastination I need to do.

The dreaded morning after

2006-12-11T01:52:00.000-05:00

Well actually it wasn't as terrible as it could have been. Last night was my going away evening with friends and fellows that were able to make it. It was quite good fun- especially for me as I am old and defunct and don't get out like those young whippersnappers i know.

The evening began at Bart's pub for dinner, my parents and Nanny joined us which was so nice of them. It was difficult to say good bye to Nanny, but I am optimistic that she will fly out to visit me and we will happy hour Toronto!

We then proceeded to go to Big Bad John's - however there were too many of us and we couldn't all fit. Even though I asked the bouncer to throw out some losers that were NOT having a farewell party he seems oblivious to my plight. Hmmm

So we had a couple in the sticky wicket and headed to the Red Jacket. The woman at the door Diana who i spoke with was awesome- gave us cheap cover and we danced like it was 1999 all night long.

I felt fine this morning waking up except for my back being a bit out of whack. Seems like I got my groove on and it got stuck there.

Mary, Merrick and Janos and I went for a breakfast at Cup of Joe's and then for a drive. We got back and everyone went there separate ways- Mary and Merrick adopted some of my plants. Then I watched Children of Dune from bed under a duvet. (yeah I know I am a nerd but Frank Herbert is/was the shizznack)

Frankly I consider this day seized.
And with that I am going to read in bed.

New Luggage

2006-12-04T23:40:00.000-05:00

Monday night football

Ok it's pretty disturbing but I actually enjoy football at the moment. I like Sunday morning games the best- while making a nice breakfast with my ethirnopean MoMo.

However this post is about luggage. I have some hot new luggage to move with. It's pretty stellar as you can see. I guess now at this point I need to work on packing. Damn!

Ok I suppose no packing will get done should I keep chatting on like this.... (but you have to love the luggage)

It's the end of November as we know it- and I feel fine!

2006-12-01T00:58:00.001-05:00

The last day of the month, my last November on the west coast for now. I just got off the phone/web cam with Valerie. She's in the midst of packing to move into their house- although there now looks like a delay in getting in. There's always something with moving...

The snow is starting to melt I suppose... I really like it, it makes everything a winter wonderland. I saw my parents tonight which was awesome- they are very tanned. It looks like they had a great time in Mexico.

Hmm this post is boring me too much, I am going to go and try to figure out if I should buy a bus pass next month or if it's cheaper to not.

Snow Day!

2006-11-27T14:25:00.000-05:00

Today the most amazing this has happened, it's a snow day. We haven't really had a snow day for years here. It began snowing yesterday morning and has barely stopped. The buses aren't really running so it was impossible to get to work, then i found out the Sidney is out of power. I hope they get it back soon. A neighbouring apartment building is out of power as well and it's really hard on them.

I think the snow is really pretty- good work up for the big Toronto I suppose. But there isn't really anyone to go out and play with which is a bit unfortunate. So we are watching Sopranos- new season!!!!!
Here's a pic from outside last night front and back

Feeling Fuzzy

2006-11-26T00:19:00.000-05:00

I am still a sicko, had to leave the house and my bed yesterday which was frustrating, but fortunately was able to spend the day inside today. I did go out to pick up more cold medicine and some peppers, that pretty much zapped any energy I might have thought I had.

We just had dinner, Mohamed got to talk to his niece on the phone tonight, little kids are so much fun! I made a mongolian beef something or other with rice and red peppers and green beans.

Managed to tidy a bit today, this isn't turning into the productive weekend I thought it would. So irritating. I need to get things done, but if I am up for more than half an hour I feel terrible. My parents rang and they were delayed in Mexico for eight hours and should be back home tomorrow night. I would love to see them but it may have to wait until I am feeling better.

Well it seems the cold medicine is kicking in as I am finding it hard to focus. It just might be bed time. Hopefully once my head clears and my body stops aching these posts will be slightly less mundane and a bit more introspective.

Boo Sicko

2006-11-23T23:31:00.000-05:00

Somehow I have contracted a cold. This does not make me very happy, pretty grumpy actually. Last night I was only starting to feel bad, Chelsea, Laura, Jodi and I went to the Fernwood Inn for dinner. It was very nice- it looks very chic inside now. A far cry from the dingy pub we used to frequent as students.

The First One

2006-11-22T16:59:00.000-05:00

Hello-

Welcome to my life... and as i look at the clock, it's back to work. Damn!
what an exciting first post...