The City of Angels- or LA LA Land- or Walking in LA

The trip to LA was uneventful. I flew via Detriot and I was so tired by the time I got on the plane I passed out for the whole ride. For me, this is unusual. I don't sleep much when I'm traveling because it's so damn EXCITING! I'm on a plane/train/automobile and going somewhere and and (this is usually when I start bouncing in my seat a little).

I'm not really used to making connections on flights and I forgot how stressful it can be. I made the connection with a few minutes to spare, but not enough to get myself a good meal along the way. Or even a crappy meal- so I was forced to buy something on the plane. I got the fruit and cheese plate- couldn't bring myself to shell out for a sandwich. It was surprisingly good, a variety of cheeses that didn't include marble cheddar, but Brie and a Weslydale and Gouda and some quite nice crackers. But not that satisfying.

By the time I arrived at LAX I was starving, my "boss" for the week was about an hour behind me, and for some reason I thought oh I'd better get to her gate as soon as possible, surely there will be some food near there. So I walked by the variety of food places and on I went. Only to arrive at her gate and find a Starbucks. I am not a sweet person (right mum?!) so being shown the option between lemon cake, cookies and biscotti I'll choose- none of them. I was able to buy some really overpriced almonds and a bottle of water. Dinner-fail.

Once I picked up Boss Lady (BL) we went to the hotel at the airport and had some room service. I'm not sure what it is about California that makes me crave hamburgers. Everytime I've been there, and the last time was in my early teens, i don't think I ate anything BUT hamburgers (and pineapple DoleWhip) the whole time I was there- including breakfast. This time I managed to branch out a little and eat more than just hamburgers the whole time. Yay me!

The week was a bit of a whirlwind BL was just in the process of renting an apartment in Beverly Hills (90210) so we spent a fair bit of time going to various places, Ikea mainly, and other stores to get everything set up for her. There was a lot of putting together Ikea furniture on my part. It wasn't all that bad, but I will say this: If you are a coffee drinker, do not try to assemble Ikea furniture before you have your morning coffee. Nothing good will come of it. NOTHING.

There were some outings to meet with people in "the industry" that BL had to meet with. I was in on one of those meetings, interesting stuff.

I did get to have a tasty breakfast at a little breakfast place near BL's apartment. Although I was disconcerted to find that they chopped up my asparagus on my eggless Benny. I can't say I'm really that keen on chopped up asparagus, I like a full stalk to nibble.

On the Friday I was starting to get a bit tired, I had some of the afternoon off and went down to one of the MoCA buildings that was nearby. There was only one installation on at that time, but it was really interesting and I was glad to see a little bit of the arts when I was there.

Then I headed up to Hollywood Blvd, as I was on a mission to go to Hot Topic and pick up a couple of t-shirts for my friend's teen monster. It was VERY hot out and I wasn't super keen on being up around such a touristy part of town- but I did manage to find the t-shirts and pick up a few stupid fridge ornaments. From there I decided to walk back to Beverly Hills- I KNOW- walkig in LA! THE HUMANITY.

But I did and I spent the next two hours trudging back to the apartment. I found it to be rather nice and I did pass by some really interesting homes. Plus it was nice to get out and walk after a week of being mostly driven everywhere.

Some of the highlights:

Seeing Spider Man just casually walking down the street.
The big smoke cloud over Burbank as the hills were burning (in a train wreck sort of way)
After a week of intense Toronto humidity, the dry dry super hot heat.
Being on the same time zone as le famille.
HAMBURGERS!
Getting to know BL much better, and her impression of going to DisneyLand made me almost pee.



It was a really intersting experience and I think it was a great break in the summer to get out of the city a bit. I wish I had been able to get down to the Ocean to see it, I don't like to miss a chance at that.

And I do think it's true about what they say- you are either a New York person or a LA person. I am the former, there is no question about that at all. LA is fine to visit, but in no way could I live there. I once had a conversation about this with Janos when comparing Toronto and Vancouver. I think it's somewhat similar- Toronto is a very much east coast/seaboard type of city, where Vancouver is very west coast. I am a Toronto person, gosh my heart just about bursts everytime I see the CN Tower, I can't get enough of this city. It's second only to NYC I think. There are such beautiful places in the world to see, and I am sure that many of them will capture me as well. But for now, Toronto is where I hang my hat.

It reminds of that song- All my exes live in Texas. And that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee.

Indeed.

Summer Part 2

August is where the fun and the sun begins. Summer in July was a bit damp, but the weather in August really turned things around. The wedding being the kick off point to a very fun rest of the summer. After that it was parties and bbqs galore. Mid-month I had a host of visitors in town.

Janos was in Montreal to photograph a wedding and decided to step out to Toronto to check out the city and catch up. It was so great to have him around again! He and I are former flatmates and were always having fun in the kitchen cooking up a variety of items. When he was here he introduced me to a delicious cucumber salad (cukes, garlic and sesame oil-done) and we had some great lettuce wraps with a thai peanut sauce.

Two days after he arrived my youngest cousin, Cam, arrived from Kelowna for a couple of days before he moved to The Netherlands for a year of University. We hadn't seen each other in at least 3 years so it was great to catch up with him again. He and Janos and I went for a delicious and authentic mexican dinner at Christie and Bloor and then headed to the Skydome for a baseball game- Janos being a baseball fan with no teams in Vancouver. Cam and I are less enthusiastic fans (read not fans at all) but had a great time up in the nosebleeds drinking beer and laughing with and at the rowdy fans. Janos managed to score a free expensive seat and really enjoyed it.

That evening as well my best friend Briana arrived in town, it was like friend overload in the best possible sense. I picked her up from the airport and it was just beyond wonderful to be able to hug her again. And she brought me some Okanagen Cherries!

Next day was brunch out with all of us and some wandering around Kensington market. A summer storm was brewing so it was ridiculously hot and muggy- it made it very hard to wander around and check things out. I was hosting a bbq that evening to have my Toronto friends meet my BC friends. The preparations were plentiful and the food was really good, but after the second guest had arrived a loud crack was heard and it started to POUR with rain. I mean torrential downpour pour. So we all ran inside to see if we could out wait the storm enough to start the BBQ.

My apartment is not large, it's really pretty teensy and having 8 of us in my living room on a beyond muggy evening was really interesting. Or in other words HOT. But the rain finished up and we were able to get the BBQ up and running and work on stuffing our little faces with a bunch of delicious food. I love hosting a party, I JUST love it. I'm also really good at it. Part of me wishes that I had a bigger place so I could have lovely dinner parties and friends over all the time. Not yet.

During this time I had been asked to go to Los Angeles to be a personal assistant for a week. It all seemed to line up, I was booked to leave on Saturday afternoon to fly out there. The bbq was Thursday as Janos and I had to hit a wedding in Terra Cotta on Friday.

We might have lazed about on breakfast on Friday morning a bit too long as we were a bit rushed heading up there, having to run an errand downtown. And since I don't drive in the city I had no idea about the horror and frustration that is downtown driving. I'm not sure why anyone does it. And apparently I have become a backseat driver, which is mortifying and Janos has since accepted my apologies about that.

The wedding itself was lovely and there wasn't a trace left of the previous days storm (which in fact caused quite a bit of damage slightly north of the city due to Hurricanes). The setting was picturesque along a river and everyone seemed happy and beaming. I admit to not being in best form because of stress/lack of sleep/I'm an asshole. But it was a fun time and we had a really intersting talk with the Father of the Groom- who used to work for the TTC. It was so interesting to hear about the behind the scenes of the subway.

Saturday morning we met up with Briana for a brunch at Easy- which is definitely my favourite brunch spot in the city. And then we headed back home, Janos packed up and left for the airport, I ran around doing work and errands for my trip. Cam and I got an hour or so to relax before we all headed to the airport and we were off to all corners. Briana back to Vancouver, Cam to Amsterdam and me to LA.

Summer Part 1

My friend Jennie has commanded me to start updating my blog, and since she's pretty bossy and the mum of a teenmonster it's just best to do what she says.

This summer has definitely been one of the top three on record. I have had so much fun, and my love of Toronto has only deepened, making it clear to me that I am not ready to leave this wonderful city any time soon. So I'm doing something new, I'm taking a stand and going to put down some roots. While running away and into new adventure could it be more daring to just stay put? I guess we shall see.

There were two weddings this summer, one of my former roommate Jackie in Victoria, and the other of Jennie here in Toronto. I had only got to know Jennie in the late spring, but she's hella awesome so I keep hanging around her. We've had some pretty good adventures as well and she is a trusty gym buddy and a really kick ass cook!

Jennie's wedding was great, one absolutely fantastic party, that went off splendidly. The weeks leading up to it were full of the usual near disasters. It's funny how every year I swear off helpign at a wedding and every year it's another wedding. I just can't stay away. Must be my inherent masochism.

I didn't do a lot of traveling this summer, I went out to Belleville for a weekend with my Uncle which was fun. We went to Sandbanks National Park http://www.out-there.com/sandbank.htm
for a couple of days. The weather wasn't as warm as it SHOULD have been, so there was minimal swimming, but I got in the lake a couple of times and did end up with a bit of a sunburn.

As far as I can remember July was a fairly low-key month. Just working and hanging out with Jennie or Isabel on the weekends doing something or other. OH and wedding work up, and work outs.



I can pinpoint the exact moment summer started for me. I had had a fun night out (on a school night- shameful!) and was at work in a tired sort of giddy mood. One Dr. Stacy took me up to the Junction to get some food at the local organic grocery store. I spotted some organic Okanagen Cherries and was ready to plonk down a hefty chunk of change for them. I was expecting to pay about $12 for the bag, and oooh it would have been worth it. But when she rang through my items it came out to about $9 including tax. I did a bit of a double take and realized she had grossly undercharged me for the cherries. Did I say anything- no. Am I going to hell-yes. Was it worth it? Abso-effing-lutely. When it comes to Okanagen Cherries morals have zero meaning.

So sitting on the steps in the beautiful sunshine at lunch hour scarfing down deliciously sun warmed cherries was the moment that summer really began for me. And with a kick off like that, how could it be anything but amazing?

A girl's best friend

A while back I posted a spot about the ring I inherited from my grandmother. It was all whiny about unrequited love and I pretty much deleted it after a few hours. I've had time to think about this ring, and what it means to me- and it is so much more than a symbol of love that was not to be. It's about survival and endurance and making choices.

My grandomother, Jean, was a survivor, an adventuress who had such determination of spirit I've never been anything but proud of her accomplishments which by today's standards seem insignificant.

This ring I wear, was given to her as an engagement to a Canadian soldier in the second world war. But he died, somewhere in Italy. I've seen the telegram she received about his death, it is heartbreaking. To see your world shatter on a piece of paper, in a a few written words isn't an enjoyable experience whatever the medium, paper computer, cell phone. And the story could have ended there for Jean.

But it didn't (lucky for my mum and consequently, myself)- Jean married my Grandfather, who was her fiancee's brother. It wasn't as fast as all that, I am quiet sure she did some real soul searching and I do know she refused to marry him several times. Maybe because she didn't love him? Maybe because she was too heartbroken to think of a life outside of the one planned? Maybe she didn't want him to marry her out of familial obligation alone? I never got a straight answer about that one.

So we won't know what the main reason was, maybe it was as simple as this- she chose adventure. Rather than mope about in England for a love lost she continued on the path she had chosen in the only way readily available to her, and began her journey.

I know my Grandma had 'wanderlust' which I definitely inherited. When she would come to visit, we would spend hours looking at the globe and at atlases planning our big trip around the world. Ah the thought of travel fills my heart! I imagine her excitement as she said goodbye to her family in London- not knowing when she would ever see them again or what the circumstance might be.

I know the excitement and the terror of saying goodbye to family, only to talk to them hours later upon arrival and via Skype on a regular basis. It was years before my Grandmother was able to return to England, the only contact being via the post.

So I wear this ring, everyday to honour my Grandma Jean, and to remind myself that adventure lurks in every circumstance- good and bad alike. And it's sparkly.

Girl vs. Machine

The machine in question being the Internet, specifically Internet dating.

Way back in the day, I had been a "lurker" on a couple of dating websites. Interested, yet not quite able to wrap my head around the fact that I needed "help" dating. Well fast forward a few years and two failed relationships and that ever sinking premonition of dying fat and alone and being found three weeks later half eaten by alsatians, spurred me on to try it. That and the fact that I have never really dated, I hadn't really been on a proper date ever.

Being new to the big city, and realizing that there are men here, men everywhere in fact. Men that find me attractive- so unlike back home where I had come to expect, snide comments, side glances, and general assholish behaviour. One caveat- I don't think all men from BC are assholes, just most of the ones in Victoria; and there is reason, there are too many women in Victoria, therefore men can act however they want to and still find themselves with women who will put up with them. Generally though, not many people I know have ended up with a Victoria boy, wait for the imports a friend would say to me. Being a Navy city, there are a lot of those. But Navy boys are their own special kind of special- on the whole. There are exceptions and I'm happy that the friends I know who are married have picked those exceptions.

Anyassholey, back to the present day- or so. I think it does take a lot go on an internet dating website, it's pretty much admitting you need help in the dating game, you can't meet people via normal channels. Which for someone who just moved to the city and was working a lot, it was pretty true. I had no time to join clubs and pretend to care about causes in the hopes of throwing myself in the paths of eligible young(ish) men.

And then it hits, the kid in a candy store feeling, there ARE all these men, and they are messaging you, asking you out. And if you don't like the look of that one, or he can't string two sentences together, you just pick another- the supply seems endless. What I hadn't realized yet is that it's like sifting through river rock looking for gold. You have to sift through a hell of a lot to find a bit of gold. And then it usually turns out to be fool's gold.

But still I was in the blissful first blush of dating, making plans, getting dressed up, going places, being bought dinner, coffee, traveling in cars. At that point I was terrifically messed up over a boy, first time that had ever happened to me, usually I let relationships drag on so long that when I finally wake up out of them, I realize I was over that person for a good six months and yet still with them. So to be in this new territory of the walking wounded, well it was uncomfortable and it hurt, so I used dating as a balm on my soul. It didn't work very well, but it kept me busy at the time.

But as the dates progressed I began to notice things, I put up that I was looking for "dating" as I knew I wasn't ready to be in a relationship again and for the most part looking to just meet people and expand my social network. Little did I know that "dating" is code for "casual sex" and here I thought the "casual sex" was actually code for "casual sex". Ahh how little I knew.

Dating websites are classifieds, so you can use different types of lingo like you are trying to sell an apartment. I always put up that I am "BBW", which means Big Beautiful Women, which is a PC term for fat. Which I am, not horrifically, I'm generally well proportioned, but enough that I have to spend extra money on trousers that fit properly. I say this up front to weed out the fattists- I spent enough time with someone who claimed to love me, but would love me all the more if I weighed less to ever be bothered with that kind of fuckwittage again. And I do find people in this city are much less well, assholish about it. It wasn't getting the dates that was the problem. Now the problem was finding quality over quantity.

In words of my dear Grandmothers friend in England I am a "buxom lass" which in North American terms means I have big tits. Most of the time I kind of forget about them, because honestly they are of no use to me, unless I need to get Jesse's Girl played at a wedding. Then I just think of using them for good (hello Rick Springfield!). But to me they aren't useful, when I have kids, then they will have a purpose. Right now they are just these giant back pain inducing items that I have been "blessed" with.

All this leads to the next point- when men see big boobs, their brain shuts down. I think it's chemical, and it is hard to blame them, witless creatures they are. But it makes it REALLY difficult to have a conversation when someone is talking to your left tit. When you do find a nice guy, they really do seem embarrassed by this urge and do make an effort to at least look above your neck part of the time. But there is the other side of the coin, where you could be having a really good chat with someone via emails/msn or what have you. Then you meet in person, notice the buxomness, and treat you like you have the IQ of a stamp. Because in their little world, women with big boobs are in no way able to be smart (would probably make masturbating less fun for them). Therefore I get relegated to a subsection of girl that they could sleep with, but couldn't date, as they would then have to acknowledge that I do in fact posses a personality and am not a blow up doll.

After years of being treated as less than human because of my physical lack (ie not being super model thin) this was quite the change, here I was being judged solely on my figure and being treated like a sex-object. It was really rather mind blowing, never in my whole life had I been treated like my body was a good or pleasant thing- leaving me free to develop the sexiest organ I got- my brain. And now I'm being treated like I do not or should not have a brain cause I'm so dead sexy physically. It was a lot to take in.

Eventually though, I tired of being a sex-object to these people (a sentence or thought I never envisioned before this) and took a break from this haphazard dating.

During my second round, I did become a lot more introspective about the hows and whys of who I was attracting- mostly complete crazies. Which I will discuss in round two of Girl vs. Machine

The Walking Wounded

Today was a migraine day. It came on suddenly last night, they just appear out of nowhere, and yesterday was a tame day, I didn't consume anything terrible drank plenty of water... but at about 10.30pm last night it hit. I thought if I could just go to sleep it would work itself out during the night.

But when I woke up this morning it was still there, my constant companion. As far as being a migraine sufferer I get off pretty easy these days. I don't tend to vomit, and I can go out in daylight usually. I've also found that over the counter migraine meds can often help me get through the day.

I've only had to go to the hospital once with a migraine, when it became apparent to me and the BF of the day that I was no longer rational. And by that I mean, I was seriously thinking about stabbing my eye with something pointy to somehow alleviate the pain.

But that was quite a while ago, in fact I've been pretty lucky lately. I guess my number was up today. However since the days that I used to suffer fairly regularly with them one is now able to buy over the counter migraine pills, rather than using the Dr. prescribed ones. The imitrex I was prescribed cost $40 per pill so you don't want to use those lightly.

It's funny, because you can try to take a regular headache pill, but the migraine will scoff at it and then totally ignore it.

I took my first pill at 9am this morning, and by the time I had to leave for my work meeting I was feeling a bit more than out of it. These pills are interesting, because they don't stop the pain of the migraine, or dissolve the migraine; rather they separate you from your body in such a way that you can't really feel the pain of the migraine.

So there you are, the walking wounded, fully functioning in your migraine hoping that the pain will dissipate before the drugs wear off. You can tell that your migraine is there, it's like a little dog pulling at the leash for your full attention, but these drugs make you numb- not totally fuzzy, but definitely one step behind.

Is it better to be able to be up and around, or to be cowering under the covers in total darkness. Either way, you feel exhausted at the end of it, in a way it was like part of me was in bed under the covers. Co-workers did comment that I didn't seem myself, and while I often feel that I spend a lot of my time separate from my body for entirely different reasons, today part of me was on the inside of far-out.

The migraine is gone finally, but I am still in the grips of the second pill I had to take, because I'd rather take this wrapped in cotton feeling than the stabbing pain of a migraine. So all in all a bit of a weird day and I thought I'd share it since I'm feeling so delightfully lucid.

Back to the grind, kind of...

Well I have returned, I don't know if I could say it was a triumphant return- but I did make the plane on time so there IS that.

(me and Nanny at Rathtrevour- my fave place on earth I think!)


My trip out West went really well. I went to quite a few places and feel like I saw a fair amount of people, my apologies to those I didn't see, my time in Victoria was really short and mostly taken up with the wedding and family. Next visit I would think that I have to spend more time in Victoria (shudder!).

I had a great visit up island with my Grandmother and Aunt and Uncle who happened to be coming down the last night I was there.

Managed to get in a fair bit of swimming in the ocean and a lake swim, which was unbelievably delightful. All in all it was a good visit, and I feel no pull to move back there at all. I would like to convince my family to move out here though- go on do it!

I had a really great visit with my brother, Don, we played some cards- I won, naturally... went for a bit of a wander up Mt. Tolmie and Mt. Doug which was just great, stuff that I really enjoyed doing but sort of forgot about.

There were two separate kayaking outtings with each unit. On Elk Lake with my mum and on the Gorge with my dad. Both were really fun times!

The weather was spectacular for pretty much all of the trip, which is handy because that is how I planned it.

A&A's wedding went off without any real hitches, it was beautiful and they were beaming. I'm looking forward to catching up with them once they return and get back to reality!

Oh reality, you harsh mistress. I'm happy to say I have put it off just a little bit, the majority of my first week back, which is also the first week back and only working one job, was spent sleeping. I guess I'm catching up on all the lost sleep. And I do believe I need to break the habit of just getting home and going to bed.

One good thing about being a workaholic is it sort of excuses you from having a life and putting yourself out there, which is very handy at times.

I zipped down to NY/NJ this past long weekend to visit with Val and Rob and meet my darlingest little godson, Sean! He is such a delight, a really happy little giggly baby and so smiley- I am completely in love with him. I had a lot of cuddles and hugs and somehow managed to get away without changing a diaper.... sneaky! So it was great to catch up with Val and Rob and see their new place.

Coming home was a bit of an ordeal, I left on a slightly later bus out of NYC, which enabled me to hang out a bit in Bryant Park and wander around, which I can't go anywhere near the City and not do. It's just such an amazing and wonderful place to be, I am extremely envious of anyone who is able to live there. I did manage to get back to TO with an hour to spare before work on Tuesday, but the bus has left me feeling a bit coldish and I'm still trying to catch up on sleep.

Ok! That was then, this is now. It's a few weeks later... pretty much back in the swing of things- starting to enjoy evenings and weekends off.

So maybe I'll start posting with some sort of regularity? It just might happen!