Friendship

Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

Recently I almost screwed up a friendship for a guy. And this isn't the first time I've done this, but this time it finally hit home to me. FINALLY. After this being a pattern since I started getting involved with boys.

I suspect it has a lot to do with low self-esteem and wanting to be wanted and in love in that magical completely unrealistic way. As well I suspect that every time I feel "thunderbolts" for someone they might in fact be warning bells.

I think what made this time different was remembering how hard I worked to get the friendships I have here. I don't have a lot of friends in Toronto really, two really close ones and they are amazing, and I've thrown both of them under the bus at one point. And it's shitty of me. So ladies, I am sorry and I thank you for being forgiving and amazing.

It woke me up, to remember that boys come and go, but friends can be forever and I'm not willing to risk them for a guy who is a warning bell. And it gave me the resolve to get rid of someone so dangerous to me that he could strip me of my friends.

And they are the wind beneath my wings.  (*sniffle* so cheesy!)