Well it is almost the end of the year- will soon be time for another yearly countdown! I'll have to start crunching numbers and working on my stats.
After spending a somewhat mellow weekend, it really is crunch time. I have about 5 lists that need to be accomplished in 3 days. Can I do it? Well I did WRITE the lists- seems shameful not to use them...
Big news, I'm laid off from my job come the new year. This could be good, ok it IS a good thing since I was stagnating there, but also bad in that eeep rent payments... bill payments... food (ha ha who am I kidding like I ever factor in food to my budget)... any type of social life. But what can you do IN THIS ECONOMY? (shout out to Michael K for that one).
Anyway- things are on the go I guess. In a few days time I'll be back in BC for the SECOND time this year- which surely should illicit some sort of pat on the head from those people out there.
Right- short post since I really ought to get dressed and get into work and finish things off. How I'd like to be the type of person who just walks away.
To the batmobile!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
My Ego is writing cheques
Probably because it hadn't snowed until TODAY! Finally finally there is snow and it's like we really live in Canada (well the GOOD parts anyway).
Someone just said I was like a "real Torontonian" not knowing where anything was geographically north of the 401. Could be the proudest moment of my year. Seriously.
Yep, I'm one of those douchebags- Toronto is centre of world, (NYC obviously centre of universe) why leave it? Really-give me a reason, that isn't a bigger and better city and you got yourself an argument. Nature? Pfft. I have High Park. Water? Pfft. I have Lake Ontario. What have you got? I mean really?
Speaking of introspection(oh I WILL BE) I am going out for Jennie's birthday in a week and we're going to Karaoke and I'm so nervous and scared. I can't sing and for as much as I am giant ham, it's all a big act- getting up and being a terrible fat singer in front of everyone makes me really nervous. It takes me back to being 12 and being laughed at by everyone on my softball team at a "team" party. That's right- it's only a team if you can marginalize one person. Bonding- gotta love it. I don't know what to do, I'll deal. I will get up there and submit to the experience, because I love Jennie. But fack! Stress!
So now it is winter (I know this because there is snow on the ground) and it's time for introspection. I've been thinking a lot about this lately, about my path in life and that sort of thing. I know for most of my peers it's been the old, get married, get knocked up (or vice versa) and the answers sort of take care of themselves- so what made me different?
The other day I though wow, at this age my parents had been together for almost 10 years and married for a good schwack of those. And I was 5, no longer the cute and adorable baby that I was (you all know i was!) but a terrifying toddler with some major issues because my parents DARED to have another child. Gods.
Actually today at work one woman mentioned that she had left her daughter in care of a 16 year old for a few hours, my boss was slightly aghast she would do this. But really- I was so much more responsible at 16 than I am now. If 16 year old me had had a baby, it would have a great life. Right now... I'm not sure i can part with the sleep or be that unselfish.
It is almost my 3 year anniversary of moving to Toronto. I could have not come, I could have just rode it out with the bad boyfriend but comfortable lifestyle who would have given me babies (although i wonder if I could have returned them when they became *gasp* people), but I would have always been yearning for something different.
Nope, I made the choice- I ripped myself out of the velvelt handcuffs and made a run for it. Most of the time it sucks, it's hard, I feel like a loser- and I have nothing but debt to show for my move here. But I'm free.
I. Am. Free.
and that makes it all worth it.
Someone just said I was like a "real Torontonian" not knowing where anything was geographically north of the 401. Could be the proudest moment of my year. Seriously.
Yep, I'm one of those douchebags- Toronto is centre of world, (NYC obviously centre of universe) why leave it? Really-give me a reason, that isn't a bigger and better city and you got yourself an argument. Nature? Pfft. I have High Park. Water? Pfft. I have Lake Ontario. What have you got? I mean really?
Speaking of introspection(oh I WILL BE) I am going out for Jennie's birthday in a week and we're going to Karaoke and I'm so nervous and scared. I can't sing and for as much as I am giant ham, it's all a big act- getting up and being a terrible fat singer in front of everyone makes me really nervous. It takes me back to being 12 and being laughed at by everyone on my softball team at a "team" party. That's right- it's only a team if you can marginalize one person. Bonding- gotta love it. I don't know what to do, I'll deal. I will get up there and submit to the experience, because I love Jennie. But fack! Stress!
So now it is winter (I know this because there is snow on the ground) and it's time for introspection. I've been thinking a lot about this lately, about my path in life and that sort of thing. I know for most of my peers it's been the old, get married, get knocked up (or vice versa) and the answers sort of take care of themselves- so what made me different?
The other day I though wow, at this age my parents had been together for almost 10 years and married for a good schwack of those. And I was 5, no longer the cute and adorable baby that I was (you all know i was!) but a terrifying toddler with some major issues because my parents DARED to have another child. Gods.
Actually today at work one woman mentioned that she had left her daughter in care of a 16 year old for a few hours, my boss was slightly aghast she would do this. But really- I was so much more responsible at 16 than I am now. If 16 year old me had had a baby, it would have a great life. Right now... I'm not sure i can part with the sleep or be that unselfish.
It is almost my 3 year anniversary of moving to Toronto. I could have not come, I could have just rode it out with the bad boyfriend but comfortable lifestyle who would have given me babies (although i wonder if I could have returned them when they became *gasp* people), but I would have always been yearning for something different.
Nope, I made the choice- I ripped myself out of the velvelt handcuffs and made a run for it. Most of the time it sucks, it's hard, I feel like a loser- and I have nothing but debt to show for my move here. But I'm free.
I. Am. Free.
and that makes it all worth it.
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