Dec 14-Family

December 14: Family:  Did your role in the family shift or change over the past year?  How?  Why?

Since this is the year I got married, it was the year of family. Generally, it's been awesome.  How family helped us this year was amazing. Even when I was banging my head against my desk or the HB because my dad drove/drives me nuts I am still so thankful they are who they are. 

Now that I'm married, and we are our own family, it's a bit weird! Only in the sense that I have to switch allegiance, and in my close-knit family that changes things. It's natural and it's right and it is the way to build and keep creating a strong partnership, but it takes some getting used to. 

I tell my parents and brother pretty much everything I have always been pretty open with them. Except for mutually decided "don't ask, don't tell" topics, they know wha gwan. So if I were having relationship problems or frustrations, it would be pretty normal for me to talk to them about it or about anything. 

Now I feel like that has to change somewhat. I know they are there if I really need them and will always support me. But when it comes to my marriage there is one person I need to talk to first and that's the HB. It doesn't do us any favours if I'm constantly going back to my parents when I have an issue, or news- they can't do much for any situation but listen. I need to go to the source and we deal with it as a unit, a family. 

I have a new first line of defence and I'm so thankful for my parents and my brother for being that to me for so many years, when I was alone or alone together with someone I didn't really trust. They stood by me, they listened (and in the case of my dad told me what to do). But now is the time to shift, to create new memories and forge new pathways of listening and understanding. I want to help build up what I have with the HB, not tear it down by going outwards. 

It is the time to lay the foundations for the years ahead, and this is what I have been learning this year. I'm not perfect at it, but I'm so much more comfortable and trusting of it that I have ever been in my life.