Dec 21- Look

Look: Sometimes you are left standing on the outside looking in.  As you stood there, on the other side of the glass, were you thankful for the boundary?  Or do you wish you could’ve been on the action-side?

As a natural born historian, I'll have to say I generally enjoy being on the outside looking in, a lot more than I do being on the inside with the action. On the outside you can see what is happening, you can make out patterns, behaviours, you are an anthropologist and these people are merely your subjects.

It's probably more of a challenge for me to be more on the action side, to force myself to participate in a tangible way rather than sitting back logging with academic interest what is happening.

During the wedding, I was in the middle of things, in the thick of the action and it was weird, I don't think I've spent that long at a function without checking out and observing. Now I can only observe in retrospect, did I make a fool of myself? Maybe I shouldn't have not eaten and had all that wine, was I polite to everyone etc. etc. 

But in the end, it's the experiences and those memories that make up your life, not the categorical observation of life happening around you. So whether I was ridiculous or not at the wedding (I think it was half and half!) it was happening to me and I was THERE for it, and that's something I'm proud of.