Place: What places anchored you this year? Or were you in search of new places and spaces to call your own and call home? Describe the place you love and why it means so much to you.
The place I love, being curled up in bed with my two boys close to me. There isn't a happier moment I can think of. But it's not tied to any one place. As long as they are there with me, I feel anchored.
This year was definitely more home bound than previous years, despite the traveling. In many ways this year was quite patterned, go to work, come home, go out in the neighbourhood, rinse, repeat. With the wedding planning being pretty high stress, a change in routine didn't seem like a great idea. And it's interesting to start to put down roots and to be living with someone again and want to be at home and creating that space. After years of living in a basement apartment, to finally live above ground again with a lot of space at my disposal means I spend a lot of time in my living room, just enjoying.
Although this years top place award would go to the impromptu family get together the night before the wedding. In the campground we spent many summers camping in with my grandparents, and to have one of those grandparents still there. We sat around a the fire, talking and laughing, the summer sun and heat setting and the trees high above us. Having my whole family there in that place at that moment was what made my year, that is what I worked so hard to achieve.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Dec. 3- Beautiful things
Beautiful Things: What brought beauty into your life this year? Was it a tangible thing or something intangible? Tell us about it in detail.
There was a lot of beauty in my year. I would say it ten to one outweighed anything ugly that happened. I went to beautiful places, I saw beautiful people, I heard beautiful sounds and smelled beautiful smells.
Being in the moment brings out the beauty in the world for me. And when I can stop and really be where I am and what I am doing, anything that was negative can be turned around.
For instance, today I was going to a meeting away from my house at 9am. I left the house at 8.40.. I didn't make it in time, realizing as I was almost there that I needed to have been there at 8.30 and showing up at quarter past nine wouldn't work.
It's cold and grey and rainy today, there I was out of bed early on Saturday (but not early enough!) having missed the meeting standing on the side walk starting to curse myself for not having it together.
But then I stopped and said, well I'll walk up to the subway, I grabbed a V8 and then decided, well I'll just walk to the next stop, I haven't been in the neighbourhood for while and why not. The next stop brought me to the park and instead of turning left into the subway I crossed the street and headed into the park.
As I walked through the park with the rain coming down I started to feel refreshed and alive and realized again, how beautiful it is in the park. And then I stopped, alone, in the rain and just listened to the sounds a forest makes on a day like today. And it is a beautiful cacophony of sound. Then I noticed a dry patch under a cedar tree, and remembered that there is always a safe haven in a forest, that I could take shelter if I needed a break from the rain.
Those are the most beautiful moments of the year, when I'm able to pull myself out of something negative and turn it into a challenge or a memory.
There was a lot of beauty in my year. I would say it ten to one outweighed anything ugly that happened. I went to beautiful places, I saw beautiful people, I heard beautiful sounds and smelled beautiful smells.
Being in the moment brings out the beauty in the world for me. And when I can stop and really be where I am and what I am doing, anything that was negative can be turned around.
For instance, today I was going to a meeting away from my house at 9am. I left the house at 8.40.. I didn't make it in time, realizing as I was almost there that I needed to have been there at 8.30 and showing up at quarter past nine wouldn't work.
It's cold and grey and rainy today, there I was out of bed early on Saturday (but not early enough!) having missed the meeting standing on the side walk starting to curse myself for not having it together.
But then I stopped and said, well I'll walk up to the subway, I grabbed a V8 and then decided, well I'll just walk to the next stop, I haven't been in the neighbourhood for while and why not. The next stop brought me to the park and instead of turning left into the subway I crossed the street and headed into the park.
As I walked through the park with the rain coming down I started to feel refreshed and alive and realized again, how beautiful it is in the park. And then I stopped, alone, in the rain and just listened to the sounds a forest makes on a day like today. And it is a beautiful cacophony of sound. Then I noticed a dry patch under a cedar tree, and remembered that there is always a safe haven in a forest, that I could take shelter if I needed a break from the rain.
Those are the most beautiful moments of the year, when I'm able to pull myself out of something negative and turn it into a challenge or a memory.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Reverb Dec 2-Help
Help: Asking for help can be the hardest thing we ever do. When and how did you ask for help? Alternatively, did someone ask you for help and how did it play out?
I get asked for help a lot. And I find it very hard not to help someone who is in need or in crisis. I really do like to see people happy. But this year I have come to wonder if my helping people has also been a way for me to feel removed from a situation, to be the calm cool and collected helper means I don't have to or *can't* put my emotions in there with things. Someone has to keep their head above water.
I did a lot of asking for help this year, in a variety of ways. I would sometimes be very vocal (ahem- bossy) in what I needed help with, particularly with planning a wedding across the country. There were times when I wasn't vocal about the help I needed but desperately wanted someone to say, hey let me help you out, to realize the edge I was about to fall off of.
Receiving help was a mixed bag. There were times when my explicit requests for help were met with crickets, with something completely unhelpful, there were times when it was completely ignored and there are times when it was met and exceeded my wildest ideas.
The help I received around the wedding, particularly the day before and the day of made me realize a lot of things. It made me realize that I have a group of friends that are undeniably amazing. They came in, I would even say swooped in, and saved the day-literally. They took control and helped me, when I was unable to help myself anymore. Who took over joyously and uncomplainingly and perfectly.
It gave me pause, after months of trying to help myself and planning a wedding with no immediate support and feeling so up against a wall that a group of women could come in and help me out like that and know that's just what we DO for each other. It was a good reminder on what true friendship is. It's not paying lip service to each other, or even being in touch all the time. It's being there when you are needed and doing what needs to be done without expectations of laurels but because you love that friend.
I try hard to conduct my friendships like that, with that fierce commitment. Giving help may feel empowering to me, but it's the receiving of help that makes me humble and fills me with gratitude.
I get asked for help a lot. And I find it very hard not to help someone who is in need or in crisis. I really do like to see people happy. But this year I have come to wonder if my helping people has also been a way for me to feel removed from a situation, to be the calm cool and collected helper means I don't have to or *can't* put my emotions in there with things. Someone has to keep their head above water.
I did a lot of asking for help this year, in a variety of ways. I would sometimes be very vocal (ahem- bossy) in what I needed help with, particularly with planning a wedding across the country. There were times when I wasn't vocal about the help I needed but desperately wanted someone to say, hey let me help you out, to realize the edge I was about to fall off of.
Receiving help was a mixed bag. There were times when my explicit requests for help were met with crickets, with something completely unhelpful, there were times when it was completely ignored and there are times when it was met and exceeded my wildest ideas.
The help I received around the wedding, particularly the day before and the day of made me realize a lot of things. It made me realize that I have a group of friends that are undeniably amazing. They came in, I would even say swooped in, and saved the day-literally. They took control and helped me, when I was unable to help myself anymore. Who took over joyously and uncomplainingly and perfectly.
It gave me pause, after months of trying to help myself and planning a wedding with no immediate support and feeling so up against a wall that a group of women could come in and help me out like that and know that's just what we DO for each other. It was a good reminder on what true friendship is. It's not paying lip service to each other, or even being in touch all the time. It's being there when you are needed and doing what needs to be done without expectations of laurels but because you love that friend.
I try hard to conduct my friendships like that, with that fierce commitment. Giving help may feel empowering to me, but it's the receiving of help that makes me humble and fills me with gratitude.
Reverb 2012- Dec 1 Where it Began
Where it began: Review and reflect – how did 2012 begin for you? Tell us how the year kicked off; start your renewal by beginning again.
The year of 2012 kicked off pretty quietly. I was home by myself for most of NYE as the HB had to do some work. He managed to make it home just before midnight. I think I watched Lord of the Rings.
While i like a good party I find these forced moments of "joy" slightly annoying, want to go out to celebrate or have dinner to celebrate, well let's just charge you double because it's New Years Eve... these years I've been more keen to either spend it with a couple of friends or just by myself.
The year may have started of quietly, but it was anything but a quiet year. There was much ado about a day going on for pretty much the whole year. And then after that is was much ado about my friends day! The year of days, that's what this will be known for.
So it's been a good year, a year of changes and adjustment, of additions and losses, good and bad, ups and downs. Really, it's been a year just like any other with wonderful moments and depressing moments. And the gamut in between moments. I'm very happy this year happened and very happy that it's now part of family lore.
Reverb 2012
I am going to be doing Reverb again this year. Last December was far to crazy with work for me to think straight.
I'm playing catch up and will also just be trying to not over think my posts!
Let it begin.
Link to the site that runs Reverb
I'm playing catch up and will also just be trying to not over think my posts!
Let it begin.
Link to the site that runs Reverb
Saturday, December 31, 2011
OH. Hi there
It's been a while. Almost a year in fact!
Hi!
And what a year it has been. Dramatic changes are afoot and some have already marched on by.
To recap, and I guess I should start with the biggies:
I got engaged! To the most wonderful man I know (except for you Dad!)- the HB. He does amazing things, like clean the bathroom and dust, and love me even when I'm being a jerk, he talks to my friends and family andsuffered through thoroughly enjoyed a trip out west to meet everyone. Essentially he's what I always wanted and hoped for in my heart of hearts.
Funny thing is when I was actually confronted with what I wanted I almost threw it back. But the HB is nothing if not persistent and somewhat sneaky. Sneakier than me even, waaaay sneakier than me (truth be told). We entered into a "formal agreement" over bbqing about getting married next summer. And boy did he let me think it was all my idea, the force is strong with this one. Pretty much if you can angle me into thinking it's all my idea, I'll do it.
So the "formal agreement" was cemented with a Christmas morning proposal on bended knee with my beautiful custom made ring. (thus ensuring this Scrooge McDuck would forever have a soft spot for Christmas)
Since we were under a "formal agreement" we decided it was probably a good idea to get shacked up. And the universe smiled upon us, it is funny- when things are right, they are easy. A friend of mine was in (rental) possession of a beautiful semi-detached in Parkdale. And she decided the time was right for her to quit our Mean City for the last time. (follow her at Illumination Magazine for some wonderful writing) She passed the torch over to us, we are the now proud renters of a two level half house! Many of you (or the two of you who read this) know I have been a basement dweller for the past 4 years. We still have a basement with no windows (the man cave) but there is an upstairs! I have a "sitting room" and windows! And a wee back patio we plan to transform this year.
I miss my old neighbourhood, it's lazy charm, my big backyard and days spent watching the trees. I miss the junction and the good neighbour and bloor west village. But I am now closer to the Ocean/Lake, closer to the park and in the middle of a very happening hood that we are still discovering. And despite it's proximity to Queen St. it's a quiet house. We live across from a park, within walking distance to an all year farmers Market, it is a beautiful and a family oriented neighbourhood to our North and hipster heaven to our South.
That's right, hipsters I am in you*. Often called "Little Williamsburg" there is no shortage of guys sporting skinny jeans and/or harem pant jeans, black rimmed glasses, weird facial hair and plaid shirts. I may be succumbing slightly and have purchased a bright green fur hooded jacket (c'mon $20 what a steal!) but I also work on Bay St. so I think it's a pretty good balance.
*I believe Gwen will remember a time of me drunkenly shrieking F**K Parkdale!! Ahh life is pretty funny.
I do not miss living in a moldy basement or the racoon mafia that liked to use my one window as a toilet area.
So here we are! It is year end, I'm getting used to living with someone else (ie- sharing things- still sucks I tell ya, but I'm getting there).
After a year struggling to enter the work force I finally did on a year long contract starting in July, it's been interesting. It's not my calling, but at this moment it is paying the bills and that is what I need.
Being DINKs (Double Income No Kids) was the perfect opportunity to expand our little family to include Montague aka Monty aka The Little Gaffer aka "quit it shithead". He's from a shelter and now I think 7 months old really fits in with us. The HB and Monty can often be caught snoozing on the couch together.
So onwards to 2012- where I will be getting married, taking a honeymoon(!), working on expanding our family (and in turn expanding me, I suppose), celebrating with friends and family alike and getting to show our out Easty's my little slice of the West Coast.
There is so much to do, but I'm feeling positive and strong and that it will all get done.
And no NYE post would be complete without a few resolutions here we go:
I intend to:
Exercise my mind and body more
Worry less
Be more creative
Put myself first
Not behave sluttishly around the house (only in connection to housework- OBVIOUSLY)
Give back to the community
Keep living in love
Merry Happy New Year everyone! Maybe I'll be back on here before another 12 month lapse!
MAYBE this will turn into a crazy wedding blog- who knows. (I really hope not, trying very hard to keep my inner bridezilla in check)
One love!
M
Hi!
And what a year it has been. Dramatic changes are afoot and some have already marched on by.
To recap, and I guess I should start with the biggies:
I got engaged! To the most wonderful man I know (except for you Dad!)- the HB. He does amazing things, like clean the bathroom and dust, and love me even when I'm being a jerk, he talks to my friends and family and
Funny thing is when I was actually confronted with what I wanted I almost threw it back. But the HB is nothing if not persistent and somewhat sneaky. Sneakier than me even, waaaay sneakier than me (truth be told). We entered into a "formal agreement" over bbqing about getting married next summer. And boy did he let me think it was all my idea, the force is strong with this one. Pretty much if you can angle me into thinking it's all my idea, I'll do it.
So the "formal agreement" was cemented with a Christmas morning proposal on bended knee with my beautiful custom made ring. (thus ensuring this Scrooge McDuck would forever have a soft spot for Christmas)
Since we were under a "formal agreement" we decided it was probably a good idea to get shacked up. And the universe smiled upon us, it is funny- when things are right, they are easy. A friend of mine was in (rental) possession of a beautiful semi-detached in Parkdale. And she decided the time was right for her to quit our Mean City for the last time. (follow her at Illumination Magazine for some wonderful writing) She passed the torch over to us, we are the now proud renters of a two level half house! Many of you (or the two of you who read this) know I have been a basement dweller for the past 4 years. We still have a basement with no windows (the man cave) but there is an upstairs! I have a "sitting room" and windows! And a wee back patio we plan to transform this year.
I miss my old neighbourhood, it's lazy charm, my big backyard and days spent watching the trees. I miss the junction and the good neighbour and bloor west village. But I am now closer to the Ocean/Lake, closer to the park and in the middle of a very happening hood that we are still discovering. And despite it's proximity to Queen St. it's a quiet house. We live across from a park, within walking distance to an all year farmers Market, it is a beautiful and a family oriented neighbourhood to our North and hipster heaven to our South.
That's right, hipsters I am in you*. Often called "Little Williamsburg" there is no shortage of guys sporting skinny jeans and/or harem pant jeans, black rimmed glasses, weird facial hair and plaid shirts. I may be succumbing slightly and have purchased a bright green fur hooded jacket (c'mon $20 what a steal!) but I also work on Bay St. so I think it's a pretty good balance.
*I believe Gwen will remember a time of me drunkenly shrieking F**K Parkdale!! Ahh life is pretty funny.
I do not miss living in a moldy basement or the racoon mafia that liked to use my one window as a toilet area.
So here we are! It is year end, I'm getting used to living with someone else (ie- sharing things- still sucks I tell ya, but I'm getting there).
After a year struggling to enter the work force I finally did on a year long contract starting in July, it's been interesting. It's not my calling, but at this moment it is paying the bills and that is what I need.
Being DINKs (Double Income No Kids) was the perfect opportunity to expand our little family to include Montague aka Monty aka The Little Gaffer aka "quit it shithead". He's from a shelter and now I think 7 months old really fits in with us. The HB and Monty can often be caught snoozing on the couch together.
So onwards to 2012- where I will be getting married, taking a honeymoon(!), working on expanding our family (and in turn expanding me, I suppose), celebrating with friends and family alike and getting to show our out Easty's my little slice of the West Coast.
There is so much to do, but I'm feeling positive and strong and that it will all get done.
And no NYE post would be complete without a few resolutions here we go:
I intend to:
Exercise my mind and body more
Worry less
Be more creative
Put myself first
Not behave sluttishly around the house (only in connection to housework- OBVIOUSLY)
Give back to the community
Keep living in love
Merry Happy New Year everyone! Maybe I'll be back on here before another 12 month lapse!
MAYBE this will turn into a crazy wedding blog- who knows. (I really hope not, trying very hard to keep my inner bridezilla in check)
One love!
M
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Busy Beautiful
I've been pretty busy lately. Tomorrow morning will be my first time off to myself in a while. Two weeks ago I got up and walked down to the coffee shop at the corner and sat and read the paper. It was lovely, and really invigorating. I walked through the back alleyways to my street and saw things I hadn't seen before.
Life is pretty amazing, I'm working hard on stopping every day and remembering that and then having a look at how beautiful the world around me is.
It's "extremely" cold out there this weekend. I have to say, I love it. Winter just makes me quite happy, when there is snow on the ground and we're all bundled up.
And it's on with the day!
Life is pretty amazing, I'm working hard on stopping every day and remembering that and then having a look at how beautiful the world around me is.
It's "extremely" cold out there this weekend. I have to say, I love it. Winter just makes me quite happy, when there is snow on the ground and we're all bundled up.
And it's on with the day!
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